this post was submitted on 05 May 2025
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chapotraphouse

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[–] StillNoLeftLeft@hexbear.net 88 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Reminds me of the Will to Change and how it was stated in it that in pathriarchy peers will scold a boy into pathriarchal outlooks and norms if they try to steer away from them.

[–] grendahlgrendahlgen@hexbear.net 62 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Under patriarchy, gender is a prison and boys train each other to be the prison guards.

[–] Sinisterium@hexbear.net 35 points 1 month ago

gender surveillance culture is real.

[–] huf@hexbear.net 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)

yeah, not beating the bounds of masculinity is itself gay, so you're pressured into calling random stuff gay. basically that's it, except replace "gay" with whatever is topical. the world is split into two anyway, with bicycles and gay people on one side and trucks and steaks on the other.

[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 25 points 1 month ago (5 children)
[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago

hi bi and like steak, i'm le_wokisme

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Ur cancelled

Or you have to like eating steak while riding your bicycle

[–] ThermonuclearEgg@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago (3 children)

If Hexbear ended up making you vegan, would this be partriarchy?

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[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

time to get into bicycles

[–] huf@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

i'm just explaining what we all know about masculinity, you dont have to be so attached to it... :)

[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

Dw I know lol, just being silly

[–] abc@hexbear.net 72 points 1 month ago (1 children)

not saying that this may not be true but in general i think Hexbears should be banned from posting studies done by Substack data analysts lmao

[–] dat_math@hexbear.net 35 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

there's lies, damned lies, and substacks

[–] Collatz_problem@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

Substatistics kelly

[–] dat_math@hexbear.net 51 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

going to play basketball with your treatler friends (if you're a boy, with high probability most of these other little treatlers are also boys) and bullshitting with eachother to see who can verbalize the edgiest insult in the group is not exactly touching grass, but I think is common enough that similar experiences could explain the difference

the belief that people of different sexes couldn't be friends without someone wanting sex (regardless of reciprocation) was pervasive when I was a young person and I expect people have only grown more attached to the illusion as time proceeds, so (at least in amerikkka) there's also this social pressure to congregate with people of the same sex when "hanging out with friends", which probably amplifies the effect

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 40 points 1 month ago

bullshitting with eachother to see who can verbalize the edgiest insult in the group

yea

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

the belief that people of different sexes couldn't be friends without someone wanting sex

this shit is so lame

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 29 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

Why can't they just consciously recognize "I find them attractive and I totally would if they were up for it, but they aren't, and that's okay" and then let it go?

[–] Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 24 points 1 month ago

Because then their friends call them f-slurs and tell everyone they’re gay for not wanting to have wild sex with every attractive girl/woman they come across.

[–] fox@hexbear.net 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Or even just "this person is attractive but I'm not interested in changing our relationship"

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[–] Gosplan14_the_Third@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago

I doubt most incels make it to the actual rejection part.

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

that phrase is equivalent to "wanting sex", it's just the healthy expression of it because of all the extra words.

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 26 points 1 month ago

Also self-defeating because if you never hang out with the opposite gender unless you’re trying to go for sexytime, you’re going to be bad at it. You need the low stakes experience first.

[–] Sinisterium@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago

the belief that people of different sexes couldn't be friends without someone wanting sex (regardless of reciprocation) was pervasive when I was a young person and I expect people have only grown more attached to the illusion as time proceeds, so (at least in amerikkka) there's also this social pressure to congregate with people of the same sex when "hanging out with friends", which probably amplifies the effect

I am from europe and gen z and this was the case when I was young too. Hell even nowdays some people still believe that. I was called gay for simplying having female friends (I mean I am, but still a 10-year old doesnt really know that yet).

[–] Sinisterium@hexbear.net 44 points 1 month ago

Hegemonic patriarchy is maintained & spread through homosocial interaction. This is obvious when you certain cis straight men get comfortable enough to "air out".

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That makes sense I stopped hanging out with most of my high school friends after college because they were a bunch of chuds. Last time I saw something from their group chat somebody was unironically complaining about dei.

Turns out spending time with a bunch of chuds makes you think and act like a chud.

[–] very_poggers_gay@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago

and its the same mfers that complain about echo chambers

[–] 9to5@hexbear.net 39 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Another win for the loners joker-gaming

[–] conditional_soup@lemm.ee 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I wonder if the sample size here makes the outcome statistically meaningful or not. It also depends on your friends. Show me their friends and I'll show you the person, right? I don't keep friends who think women are inferior or deserve less, and if that's in your friend circle, then yeah, of course hanging out with them is going to have an influence.

[–] Sinisterium@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

usually your friend circle includes your classmates mostly. And every class has a few boys who believe girls/women are inferior.

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[–] ThanksObama5223@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago

I know I shouldn't be surprised but these numbers are staggering. Even the group of buddies I grew up with, half of which have shitty opinions, wouldn't agree with this shit. I think there's something to be said on men challenging men on their dogshit beliefs or at least not sitting by silently that impacts this. To hear incorrect views without rebutting them and even to hear counter-revolutionary remarks without reporting them, but instead to take them calmly as if nothing had happened. This is a sixth type.

[–] AcidLeaves@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I've heard that younger zoomers and younger are very gender segregated in social interactions. Friend groups are more singular gendered, parties will have less mixed gender conversations, etc.

It's possible that boys with a more active social life means they actually disproportionately interact with other boys more, while the online ones may actually interact with girls more, especially since lots more girls are in popular younger online spaces now like Tiktok and Roblox

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[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)

So does this mean the influence of the manosphere is overblown? Or at the very least, that the discourse surrounding it has the cause and effect reversed; it doesn’t brainwash unsuspecting equity-minded young men into becoming chauvinistic, but rather young men who are already misogynistic flock to it to get their biases confirmed.

[–] Sinisterium@hexbear.net 37 points 1 month ago (1 children)

certain men/boys get radicalized through the manosphere and then spread it through social pressure amongst their peers. And its not the "contemptuous" basement dwellers, who are already not compliant with patriarchal norms. A lot of "normal" attractive men with plenty of hobbies, success in career/schools and are absolute incel & chuds.

The most reactionary shithead, I knew, was a toned tan surfer dude who was in the top percentile of high achieving students in our university. And that respect he gained from teachers and other peers, allowed to basically speak his filth uninterrupted and even the more "lib" students & teachers agreed/allowed him.

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[–] huf@hexbear.net 26 points 1 month ago

yeah, what if it wasnt the internet all along but just baseline patriarchal men's "culture"

[–] inTheShadowOf@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The cis boys just need to transition. It would fix so many issues.

[–] ThermonuclearEgg@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Found Elle's account

Dorley Hall convinced me that more leftists would read theory if there was a forcefem basement in it

[–] Cysioland@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No, that's how you get another Łukasz Sakowski

[–] 51dz31@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] plinky@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

why 8th and 10th grade? meow-floppy

also seems like year of change is around 2018? with previous increase in support level in ~2012? so like economy doing good period (both not covid related or president related dates)

*grass seems to have no effect tbh

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[–] Zuzak@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago

There's parts of the country that are so uniformally conservative that virtually the only way to encounter outside views is through the internet. Doubly so if you're a kid growing up sheltered by conservative parents.

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Gamergate was an illusion, the nerds are our allies against the chads!

[–] Sinisterium@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago

Nah its common in both. Not just Nerds.

[–] blobjim@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

CORRELATION DOES NOT EQUAL CAUSATION

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)

8th and 10th grade

I'm not AmeriKKKan but isn't that like 12 year olds?

[–] procapra@lemm.ee 10 points 1 month ago
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