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submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by BadTakesHaver@hexbear.net to c/hexbear@hexbear.net

During the brief time DroneRights was active on the site, DroneRights was treated, by default, in bad faith and as a wrecker, even by moderators. Very first post made by DroneRights, (where it references its experiences as someone with NPD) First comment responding tells it to “fuck off” and that narcissist is not a slur. DroneRights defended how it feels narcissist is a slur, and then the next comment was “I have literally never heard or seen it used that way. Edit: new account, good troll” A statement that Thus begins the saga of DroneRights, and the half of the userbase that treats it like a troll that couldn’t possibly be real because what it talks about is nothing the users here have ever heard about. And just to be clear, ableist slurs are commonplace on this site. Incredibly common everyday words, phrases, and most intelligence or sanity-based insults come from medical words for disabilities. I would imagine a lot of users would be upset if ND users started insisting, we never used words like “stupid”, because they are so commonplace. But if someone with NPD tells you that using Narcissism as an insult is hurtful and dehumanizes those who have NPD, then don’t speak over them.

Now, DroneRights is an interesting user. I, like most of you, did not know much about anything DroneRights talked about in its posts. From how I see it, DroneRights has been ridiculed for its beliefs, its disabilities, and its gender since it started being open about its gender online. It tried talking about its experiences with neurodiversity and its gender on several instances before posting on hexbear at all, making a new account after being doxxed on its old one. Every instance treated DroneRights in bad faith, invalidated and belittled it, and it comes to hexbear where “we love our trans neurodivergent comrades!!” and it instantly gets treated like someone so unfamiliar and so unbelievable that DroneRights couldn’t possibly be real or valid.

This is the shit we have a thousand dunk tank threads about. Libs saying hexbear users are bots, or not really trans, or paid shills, anything they can say instead of doing some self-crit or considering the experiences of other people. Except now we are doing it, while claiming to be a welcoming, shining beacon of inclusivity. Now, even if you wrongly think DroneRights could not possibly be genuine in the posts it made, I would briefly like if the readers of this post looked at DroneRights post history for a moment, and interpret its posts giving the benefit of the doubt that should be given to someone with NPD, autism, a lack of communication skills, who does not fully understand left wing politics like you might. Take how it interprets its gender seriously, without assuming it is a troll. And look at how users on this site respond to what it says.

https://hexbear.net/u/DroneRights?page=1&sort=Old&view=Overview

Okay, assuming you looked for a little over 5 minutes, you have probably seen some hurtful exclusionary shit said to DroneRights out of bad faith assumptions. The mod log is similarly bad, if you believe that ND users shouldn’t be seen instantly as trolls or worthy of being banned for a couple bad takes, or for communication problems. These takes are entirely understandable for DroneRights to have, given how it views itself as a non-person. Especially noteworthy, is how DroneRights post got removed and bad faith comments were made towards it (initially, got restored later) in the dedicated comm for neurodiversity, with rules dedicated to not making bad faith assumptions about other peoples experiences. In The rest of the site without those rules, it faced constant ridicule and mistreatment. Saying DroneRights had “bad, wrecker vibes” without attempting to understand DroneRights is ableist, and so is labeling DroneRights as a wrecker when its actions could easily be interpreted as a good faith ND user who isn’t quite as aware of Marxist theory unlike other users. Even if for some reason some bad faith troll decided to learn and lie about the experiences DroneRights has had with its gender and how its NPD has changed how it views itself, the normal standards of engagement on this site should not be one where ND users, and users in general should be invalidated like that. Now, the problem of ableism and bad faith assumptions about posts is a very complicated one. Let me first address our site culture of struggle sessions, hostility, and bad faith assumptions. Threads frequently devolve into arguments and dogpiling, often on established users who make comments or posts with no intention of rudeness. The solution to this problem of hostility by hexbear? Don’t talk about it. If drama is brought up, even if its very important or relevant to the site, it is removed. There used to be containment comms in UserUnion and c/Strugglesession. They got removed about three months ago. I never heard about any new place to talk about the site, the code of conduct still tells users to post at userunion, so unless a user looks a little harder and tries to find whatever comm “meta” posts are allowed in, criticism looks purposefully ignored. A cool soviet propaganda poster once said, “Kill it at the Root.” Most struggle sessions either wouldn’t have happened, or been a lot less toxic, if there were sitewide rules saying that “if a user posts something that seems unintentionally harmful or reactionary, ask them what they meant by that comment. Don’t immediately go on the attack. Behave in good faith, and don’t assume the worst from posters by default “

Now, this potential solution obviously increases moderator workload and would make genuine ill-intentioned trolls harder to get rid of, but compared to previous moderation policies, if implemented properly, it would give many users the safe, welcoming space they desire from the site. Now, Hexbear itself has had a rocky start, with issues of inclusivity and toxicity since the beginning. The solution for the past few years? Ban anyone you can label as a liberal! I don’t really have an issue with the initial ban of those labeled transphobic. Were some well-intentioned ND users banned in the process? Probably. But the site is much better without blatant transphobia. The issue is that the policy of banning on the pretenses of “seems like a liberal” or “has a take I don’t agree with” is really only fitting on clear, black and white issues like trans rights. Now, admittedly, a lot of left wing issues are black and white, but not all of them are, and having a bad take on an issue or believing in common misconceptions doesn’t mean a user is malicious or harmful, and the policy of banning “sus” accounts over not having all the facts or not communicating properly is actively communicating that the policy is: that it is ok to ban ND users regularly and make it so those who don’t get banned are constantly worried about it, as long as it gets rid of liberals. When you say “Embrace TC69 thought” what you are advocating for is sacrificing good faith users and the ND community so that liberals are banned quicker. Of course, I’m not the first person to criticize the site on this. Two or so years ago, the site had a lively and welcoming Neurodiverse mod team dedicated to making their comm a great place for ND users to talk, but with the site’s constant hostility, struggle sessions, ND users often got unjustly banned outside of the comm, and those who did not felt like they could be banned at any moment without understanding what they did wrong. When ND users and the mod team representing them asked for users to be unbanned or for site policy to change to be more inclusive to ND users, they were frequently not being listened to. After around a year of moderating and advocating for ND users, (often with no results), an incident where a well-known user made an “I’m leaving post” targeted at an ND user who criticized them. The user was immediately banned, the ND mod team had to fight hard to convince the mod team that they didn’t deserve to be immediately banned for a tiny incident that was not intended to be hurtful, and after convincing the mods to unban the user, they were promptly re-banned by another site mod with no explanation given, and the consequences of that event and the feelings of mistreatment by the mod team prior in combination with that, led to most of the ND team leaving the site completely. The comm has seemingly had little to no leadership since in the past 2 years, and this important history of the site is largely forgotten about.

ND users need a voice, and ableism needs to be discussed and acknowledged to be a problem in this community. Discussion on ableism or ND inclusivity on the Neurodiverse comm should not be removed, especially if the conversation is civil.

[@Egon@hexbear.net](https://hexbear.net/u/Egon

Has expressed a desire for tone indicators like /s to be normalized and encouraged on the site, which I would agree with. Having /s and other tone indicators would help users with interpreting comments in they way they are intended, and /s being from reddit is not a good enough reason to not use it.

As for what I want to see from the site to be more inclusive to ND users, rules such as ““if a user posts something that seems unintentionally harmful or reactionary, ask them what they meant by that comment. Don’t immediately go on the attack. Behave in good faith, and don’t assume the worst from posters by default “and “do not talk over ND comrades about things you have not experienced” are rules I would want to be enforced site wide.

The most important thing is to acknowledge these issues in our community and address them. Inclusivity of ND comrades should be just as important as other issues the site makes a priority. If one of the main concerns with our site is losing the safe space that hexbear has.

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[-] ChestRockwell@hexbear.net 67 points 11 months ago

These takes are entirely understandable for DroneRights to have, given how it views itself as a non-person.

I feel like if anything this esoteric identy was weaponised against those members of our community that were constantly fighting to defend. Also, while I'm all for treating non-persons with kindness and care vegan-liberation the fact is animals can't weaponize their non-personhood the way that this account did.

I just go back to what I thought before, just because it sees itself as a non-person it doesn't give it the right to be transphobic. Neurodiversity isn't an excuse to engage in erasure. We can't carve out some exception that our ND comrades can erase trans people because they're ND.

And I still don't see why there's such defense of an account that engaged in blatant transphobia. Straight up, if you use pronouns like the account did (AND INSIST UPON THEM TO OTHERS), then the turn to

cw transphobic materialAckshuwally they/them isn't an identity and doesn't exist

Doesn't make sense. Even if you are neurodiverse, how the fuck isn't this some massive cognitive dissonance/hypocrisy. Again, ND isn't an excuse to engage in this kind of behavior, all the more that the account frequently noted its own pronouns.

I mean is it too much to ask that a ND person respect the existence of our trans comrades?

[-] Anarchist@hexbear.net 34 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

this so much, thank you. I’m saying this as someone who is autistic/ ND btws.

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[-] Judge_Jury@hexbear.net 67 points 11 months ago

I agree about some of the responses it received, but I don't think it was banned for anything that seemed unintentional. It kept dogwhistling transphobia, which is a separate issue from its identity and neurodiversity

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[-] booty@hexbear.net 54 points 11 months ago

Personally, and I'm willing to self-crit about this if I see any reason to believe I was wrong, but I am surprised any user on this site took DroneRights seriously at all. What I saw was a very obvious 4chan edgelord type making the one joke in a very elaborate way. This user unironically and explicitly supported the idea of an attack helicopter gender.

[-] GriffithDidNothingWrong@hexbear.net 50 points 11 months ago

Yeah it described a friend as airplanekin and explicitly called out the mods for action against the one joke. This is a big diverse community and its possible that some poor much maligned soul does actually identify as an attack helicopter but I have a real hard time believing such.

It was also argumentative in such a way that seemed less like it was seeking enlightenment and more like it was trying to waste as much of sincere peoples time as possible. I could be wrong, I certainly have been before but I dunno. It just felt like someone taking advantage of the compassion oft misunderstood people feel towards something they don't understand and I didn't like it. Like seeing the nicest person you know getting manipulated.

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[-] Tachanka@hexbear.net 46 points 11 months ago

also "DroneRights" just sounds like a bit account

[-] Anarchist@hexbear.net 41 points 11 months ago

well that’s because it was a transphobic bit account.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 41 points 11 months ago

I suppose to chan fascists, just the possibility of people that profess to care about other people actually trying to care about another person is some kind of big epic own to expose. so-true

[-] booty@hexbear.net 40 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Yeah, I think the idea is "look, these silly lefties have no coherent beliefs, look how long they entertained me when I was comparing communists to the borg and trans people to non-person-identifying-otherkin!" very-intelligent

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 34 points 11 months ago

"HAHA THEY DIDN'T RIGIDLY AND AUTOMATICALLY REJECT PEOPLE THAT ARE DIFFERENT JOKE'S ON THEM HAHA"

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[-] edge@hexbear.net 51 points 11 months ago

I would imagine a lot of users would be upset if ND users started insisting, we never used words like “stupid”

I'm ND and I would be upset at that. "Stupid" is so detached from ableism it doesn't even register. If someone called me the r word I'd have a problem with it, but if someone called me stupid it wouldn't even register as being a reference to my neurodivergence, because it's not.

[-] nocages@hexbear.net 29 points 11 months ago

I don't agree. It's just normalized to the degree that most people don't actively think about the connection anymore, the same way that they don't think about how calling something that's boring "lame" originally came from a term describing a physical impairment.

Just because something is normalized doesn't mean it isn't harmful. Equating different brains with badness upholds ableism the same way that male-as-default in some languages upholds patriarchy.

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[-] kristina@hexbear.net 50 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

idk, first time i interacted with dronerights, it was calling trans people nazis. definitely an eyebrow raiser and was given an excessive amount of leeway given the bulk of infractions. as always, anyone can just make a new account here if they self crit and dont make it obvious its them again

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[-] footfaults@hexbear.net 48 points 11 months ago

Until an account is at least a year old, I'm not required to assume good faith, especially after the past few months of churn we've had.

Coming in with their very first post and arguing that narcissist is a slur is something that causes controversy and made the whole thing a spectacle. Whether it is their true belief, or an elaborate troll, I am not going to spend the energy to try and divine their intent.

The fact that the account was banned inside of two weeks, does not help the case that this was a sincere belief.

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moving my comment here:

From the code of conduct

"Please "remember the human" and be kind to your fellow leftists."

"Respect that people have differences of opinion and that every leftist has a place in our community."

"We are a platform that welcomes anyone who wants to be here in good faith"

I agree that people jump in too quickly on assuming bad-faith but these things are against the code of conduct, as is wrecker-jacketing. I see some stuff removed and I'm sure there is stuff that should be removed but isn't and that comes back to the moderators. I personally think it is something that wasn't reported so it was missed, or the mod disagreed with the report idk but I'm not thinking that the moderators are malicious or ableist.

Tbh dronerights was banned for posting some things that had nothing to do with it being ND:

enbyphobic" "They" is a non gendering pronoun. If you use they/them, you'll never misgender anyone, but you'll also never gender anyone correctly either. Some people are okay with not being gendered and some people aren't. You should respect their wishes once you've heard them, but I don't believe you have any obligation to check them in advance"

racistTo anyone who has more than a passing familiarity with China, this is laughable because "Han" is less of an ethnicity than it is an umbrella term for a melting pot of ethnic groups. At the time white supremacy was invented, whiteness was a melting pot of ethnic groups. White supremacy itself was instrumental in getting all the European races in the Americas to gang up on brown and black. And the "white" people in the Balkans still haven't got the memo that they're actually the same race

reactionary"The world has enough humanity in it. That's how climate change started"

I'm sorry but as someone who is ND it is not fair to allow someone to get away with not having stuff removed because they are ND. As with all users get enough comments removed and you get banned.

[-] sharedburdens@hexbear.net 37 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I cut it a lot of slack in my first interactions because I've worked with people with NPD and can totally appreciate not just using it as an insult, particularly if it's something people are working on.

It was completely correct get banned for saying all of the above, for all of the understanding that it was asking from others, it didn't seem engaged in doing the same for them.

[-] Anarchist@hexbear.net 33 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

for all of the understanding that it was asking from others, it didn't seem engaged in doing the same for them.

This is core regardless of whether it was a troll, yeah.

[-] Anarchist@hexbear.net 23 points 11 months ago

Thank you for reposting this. I wish OP had only made a single post here. Making multiple posts made it very difficult for me to track as an ND person.

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[-] LesbianLiberty@hexbear.net 42 points 11 months ago

Value and cherish my trans, ND, etc comrades but when identity is being used as a shield for being mean it hasn't gone very well for me in the past personally, dealing with folks like that, they've almost always done far more to actually harm communities they proclaim to care about.

My litmus test is if one is being argumentative and vociferously outpsoken without backing up anything they do with real action or conviction then they're a wrecker, a child, or some silly third thing to not be paid attention to. It's kind of mean, but god damn I've only got so much time in the fucking day jc, we're already on the bleeding edge of societal views.

[-] HodgePodge@hexbear.net 28 points 11 months ago

It's kind of mean, but god damn I've only got so much time in the fucking day jc, we're already on the bleeding edge of societal views

Honestly I don’t even think it’s mean, you just have boundaries and standards for how people need to treat you if they want you to stick around.

[-] HodgePodge@hexbear.net 38 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I am going to try not to be snarky and believe you are acting in good faith. OP has a very new account (less than a month), so probably hasn’t seen the absolute dogshit monsoon of bad faith transphobes.

I also saw you mentioned you were cis. By insisting that DroneRights wasn’t transphobic and instead just misunderstood, you need to understand that you’re actively talking over ND trans people who identified what was going on there.

I tried to give DroneRights a chance and even kinda saw what it meant by criticizing the use of narcissism. Shit-ass way to open with a new group of people, but okay, whatever, that can happen. It kept going though and aside from being pretty shitty to other people, it also kept dropping transphobic dog whistles.

With that said, I’m not willing to entertain any argument that centers the feelings of a transphobe over those of trans and ND people.

I really think you should stop trying to defend that account OP. It makes it hard to take you sincerely when I feel like you’re more concerned with defending a troll you’ve mistaken for a martyr than collaborating with everyone on ways to make the site better for ND people.

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[-] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 37 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

So for starters DR was literally dancing around “identifies as an attack helicopter” jokes and anyone who does that deserves a ban imo full stop

Secondly wrecker behavior doesn’t have to be intentional. Searing hot take here but it should be ok to ban accounts for being annoying or stirring up a bunch of drama regardless of their intentions.

[-] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 37 points 11 months ago

OP, it's not a very good look that you constantly ignore the reason why DroneRights was banned: it was banned for being enbyphobic. Why should it be allowed to disrespect and invalidate our enby users while at the same time demanding people use it/its pronouns and refer to itself as a non-person? Respect and validation goes both ways, and if it won't respect our enby users, it has no place in our community.

I also don't like how you constantly use the wrong pronouns for DroneRights. If you're trying to make the case that DroneRights is sincere and not a troll, well, DroneRights has a specific gender identity and a specific set of pronouns that it wants everyone to use. Use those pronouns. Don't pontificate to us about how we didn't take DroneRights seriously while misgendering DroneRights at the same time.

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[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 36 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I think this is a conversation worth having, even if I myself am not smart enough to contribute much to it. But it's a conversation we should have carefully. Federation has made it more difficult to tell good faith from bad faith. We need to think of a better way to be accommodating while also not leaving ourselves open to losers who simply want to farm drama from us.

[-] ChestRockwell@hexbear.net 22 points 11 months ago

I was thinking about this in the other thread. As a QAA listener, I was made aware of the "Race Change to Another"/ trans-race thing. The ep was bad vibes, and my gut says that our black, brown, Asian, and other minority comrades probably wouldn't want someone around who was white but trying to become black, etc. This is in part because I feel if we're inclusive towards this group we're going to hurt other comrades.

However I don't know, it's a very edge case and straight up I'm not the person who should have opinions on that aspect of the moderation policy. However I think it's a good example of the kind of thing you're talking about.

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[-] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 35 points 11 months ago

I'll admit to thinking it was a troll but it was super easy to engage in good faith. If it was a very elaborate troll I feel as though the fun would have been lost if we treated it with respect and good faith.

Apparently transphobia so obviously get em outta here in that case

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[-] StellarTabi@hexbear.net 31 points 11 months ago

I didn't understand any of that but NATO delenda est.

[-] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 29 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

General question, is the board interested in having a sociologically coherent view of what gender is so that, among other things, it is more resilient to trolls and bad faith bullshit? DR gave me a migraine with its soliloquies about "egregoric hiveminds." I support neopronouns and the rest of it because pronouns are ultimately just names, but the interpretations on some parts of the internet of what a xenogender is fly in the face of any coherent definition of gender and it seems like this poses ideological problems when viewed uncritically, even if I was (and I was) too argumentative with it (DR) directly.

A gender is a social role that is defined in contrast to other social roles. It cannot be something that no one does or something that everyone does. For example, "talks to people" is something everyone does. Likewise, "summons demons from another plane" is something no one does. They are not genders, they are at most special interests (perhaps "fixations"), and they are fine to have (I certainly have my own) but we shouldn't conflate them.

That also doesn't mean we should go and contradict someone proclaiming these things (again, I was too combative to it), but it seems like a helpful thing to have a Party Line on because it's basically the ideological opposition to the One Joke.

Anyway, if DR is reading this and not a troll, sorry about being a jerk. Fuck you for other reasons, you're reactionary pond scum, but regarding this issue specifically, I apologize.

Unrelated: Stupid still isn't ableist beyond what you might ascribe to the word "unintelligent". There is something to be said for all talk about intelligence to disparage people being problematic, but that's on a different magnitude from using a slur for a medical condition or something.

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[-] ReadFanon@hexbear.net 25 points 11 months ago

Just reposting this comment here for more visibility. Excuse the double-tap.

I'm new to Hexbear so I don't think that I have much say in the site itself, like moderation or culture and what have you, so I intentionally avoid contributing in these respects because I don't feel as though it's my place to waltz into someone else's house and start dictating my tastes in interior design, so to speak.

I guess in some ways I'm quite lucky because I got the "good at language and culture" flavour of autism instead of the "good at maths/coding" flavour of autism (although sometimes I wish I had the other way around) and that means that I'm much better at camoflauging and integrating into in-group cultures than I would otherwise be, at least the majority of the time.

While I have to admit that my use of language is still characterised by tepid ableism because I haven't done enough work to really purge the more socially-acceptable forms of ableist tropes that I invoke, and I appreciate the call to accountability, I just wanted to say that what you said about people jumping to conclusions about things that I have said and especially choosing not to seek clarification about what I have said resonates with me. I'm precise with my language to the point of being borderline obsessive because of the cumulative effect of all the social rejection I have faced for being misinterpreted and having my meanings or my intentions mischaracterised, and even then it's often in vain because "tone" represents so much more than just the sum total of your choice of words.

Often it feels like I'm performing an intricate dance with my phrasing to ensure that I'm not only conveying my message precisely but that my wording can't be turned around and used against me/what I had intended to say and this mental labour is really taxing and it makes social engagement really difficult for me.

I guess I just wanted to contribute my own personal experience to give some insight into what it can be like for neurodivergent people to experience a world in which they are often vilified for what they didn't say or for using the wrong inflection or not providing enough of the right facial expressions at the right moments etc. etc.

It can be downright crushing to face the world when you know that you're going to be held accountable for someone else's interpretation of your words and the more you try to explain your intentions and your meaning, the more you are perceived to be trying to justify yourself and the more you are intepreted as being combative.

There's a reason why autistic people often experience verbal shutdowns (i.e. "selective" mutism) and I think a large part of that is by facing the seemingly impossible situation where words get you into trouble with people and the more you talk, the deeper a hole it digs for you despite your best intentions. Of course, not responding is also an implicit admission of culpability and so you're left in a double-bind where it's easier to just disengage and avoid socialising entirely.

And this is all coming from a personal who is gifted when it comes to language and culture. I can't imagine what it would be like if I didn't have the skills that I do in this respect.

(Also I don't think I ever really interacted with DroneRights so please don't take this as a statement on either side of the matter for its banning.)

TL;DR: There's a reason why The Stranger by Camus is one of my favourite books

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[-] good_girl@hexbear.net 24 points 11 months ago

crossposting my comment:

I never really interacted with DroneRights but early in my self-discovery I interacted with more than a handful of systems. I never really got the concept but I understood it and accepted the why of it.

But the part that raised a few red flags for me was the obsession over the word narcissistic. To me, the way DroneRights broached the topic echoed the way terfs and transphobes speak about trans people being

phobic rhetoric'narcissists who want to change the way we speak and to indulge their delusions and mental illnesses.'
...which made me mad uncomfy.

However, I still feel the way the situation was handled by the community was not so great regardless of whether or not it was a wrecker. I don't know what the right way to go about it would have been, but instantly assuming a user presenting as someone ND is acting in bad faith because of a few missteps closes the door on potential ND users acting in good faith.

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this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2023
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