this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2025
384 points (97.1% liked)

Greentext

6524 readers
1887 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
all 46 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] usrtrv@sh.itjust.works 7 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

Oxygen Not Included.

You start with oxygen.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 5 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

> Starcraft
> You don't craft a single star

> Heretic
> The inquisition doesn't show up

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 1 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

According to my research, the Spanish Inquisition never shows up when you expect it.

[–] Gustephan@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

> dark souls

> most soul items are white

[–] deathmetal27@lemmy.world 2 points 22 hours ago

But humanity is dark.

[–] Asetru@feddit.org 38 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 23 points 1 day ago

DOOM Eternal
can be finished in about 20 hours

[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 10 points 1 day ago

>Postal 2

>There's only one post office

[–] Captain_Stupid@lemmy.world 22 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Counter Strike

No Counters

[–] deathmetal27@lemmy.world 4 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

>Counter-Strike

> No unions.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Someone has never played de_rats. There are counters in the kitchen and the bathroom. 😌

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

Does anything happen when you strike them?

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

> Shadowbringers
> There are fewer shadows in Norvrandt than before because of your actions

On the other hand:

> Endwalker
> Literally walk to the end
> Strong art thou, mortal

[–] tomatoely@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

> Saints Row

> Not a single main character is canonized by the church

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] tomatoely@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago

and that is why ubisoft will never reach the level of coolmathgames.com

[–] the_tab_key@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

saints row

Penis bat

I'm not sure I'm doing this right...

[–] Lojcs@lemm.ee 47 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

> Risk of rain 2
> It never rains

[–] Lojcs@lemm.ee 37 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)
[–] Nasan@sopuli.xyz 16 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

> Detroit: Become Human

> City doesn't become sentient nor organic

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

> Horizon Zero Dawn
> has day/night cycle

[–] deathmetal27@lemmy.world 10 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

>Skyrim

>The sky has no butthole.

[–] Caesium@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

it finally starts raining on the path to Mithrix tho, doesn't it?

[–] webpack@ani.social 2 points 10 hours ago

this is true it rains on the moon

[–] Lojcs@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I don't remember.. I don't think so?

[–] iagomago@feddit.it 43 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Technically, Half Life is correct. Armor, which constitutes half of your entire life points, is also 100, and you don't have it from the get go.

[–] Rednax@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This is incorrect. Armor takes a large amount of damage dealt to the player, but not all. If you are at 1 HP, and 100 armor, you can still die to a single bullet, even though armor won't be at zero. Fall and drown damage is also not affected by armor. Hence armor is not life.

Source: https://github.com/ValveSoftware/halflife/blob/master/dlls/player.cpp

[–] Orygin@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Source

Nah that's GoldSrc there fam ;)

[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 3 points 1 day ago (6 children)

To take a shit is now a game mechanic?

[–] TheOakTree@lemm.ee 4 points 9 hours ago

I remember in ARK you would periodically shit a sphere. I forget what it can be used for though. It is definitely a game mechanic :)

[–] usrtrv@sh.itjust.works 5 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Kingdom Come 1 promised this as a mechanic but then didn't implement it. There are still toilets but you can only read books on them.

[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 1 points 8 hours ago

Sexy books?

[–] BaroqueInMind@lemmy.one 4 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

In this game there is a full optional nutritional/metabolic tracking mechanic, where you can leverage taking poops and use it to distract enemies, attract predators, or weaponize them to get other players in-game diseases

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 11 points 1 day ago (3 children)

In Duke Nukem 3D you could take a crap in the bathroom, and that game is from 1996.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 3 points 10 hours ago

Duke only pissed; on the first level you could find an alien taking a dump tho

[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Duke also poops a poop in an aliens neck after ripping the head off!

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 6 points 1 day ago

Truly a game ahead of its time

[–] lessthanluigi 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

> Duke Nukem

> No Dukes and no Nuclear explosions

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Duke Nukem is the name of the protagonist you dingus

[–] joyjoy@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

3D

It shows up as 2D on my monitor.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You can move in 3D space, as opposed to the previous games, which were side scrollers.

[–] Robust_Mirror@aussie.zone 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Zero hour

Takes longer than zero hours.

[–] Nikko882@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well, the problem is clearly that it is not.
(In case you are actually confused "duty calls" or "I hear the call of duty" (or "I hear the call of nature") can mean the speaker needs to take a shit.)

[–] deathmetal27@lemmy.world 3 points 22 hours ago

"Call of doody"

Also, anon could be referring to the fact that soldiers on the field tend to dig holes to shit if there is no toilet available. Call of duty being a military based game could have had shitting mechanics like how actual soldiers in the field do.

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 day ago

It is in the Sims. Including "The Sims Bustin' Out" which is an RPG.