this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] usrtrv@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Oxygen Not Included.

You start with oxygen.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

> Starcraft
> You don't craft a single star

> Heretic
> The inquisition doesn't show up

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

According to my research, the Spanish Inquisition never shows up when you expect it.

[–] Asetru@feddit.org 39 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 25 points 2 days ago

DOOM Eternal
can be finished in about 20 hours

[–] Gustephan@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

> dark souls

> most soul items are white

[–] deathmetal27@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

But humanity is dark.

[–] Captain_Stupid@lemmy.world 24 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Counter Strike

No Counters

[–] deathmetal27@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

>Counter-Strike

> No unions.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Someone has never played de_rats. There are counters in the kitchen and the bathroom. 😌

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Does anything happen when you strike them?

[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 12 points 2 days ago

>Postal 2

>There's only one post office

[–] Lojcs@lemm.ee 48 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

> Risk of rain 2
> It never rains

[–] Lojcs@lemm.ee 37 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)
[–] Nasan@sopuli.xyz 17 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

> Detroit: Become Human

> City doesn't become sentient nor organic

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

> Horizon Zero Dawn
> has day/night cycle

[–] deathmetal27@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

>Skyrim

>The sky has no butthole.

[–] Caesium@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

it finally starts raining on the path to Mithrix tho, doesn't it?

[–] webpack@ani.social 2 points 1 day ago

this is true it rains on the moon

[–] Lojcs@lemm.ee 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I don't remember.. I don't think so?

[–] tomatoely@sh.itjust.works 24 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

> Saints Row

> Not a single main character is canonized by the church

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] tomatoely@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 days ago

and that is why ubisoft will never reach the level of coolmathgames.com

[–] the_tab_key@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

saints row

Penis bat

I'm not sure I'm doing this right...

[–] iagomago@feddit.it 44 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Technically, Half Life is correct. Armor, which constitutes half of your entire life points, is also 100, and you don't have it from the get go.

[–] Rednax@lemmy.world 21 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This is incorrect. Armor takes a large amount of damage dealt to the player, but not all. If you are at 1 HP, and 100 armor, you can still die to a single bullet, even though armor won't be at zero. Fall and drown damage is also not affected by armor. Hence armor is not life.

Source: https://github.com/ValveSoftware/halflife/blob/master/dlls/player.cpp

[–] Orygin@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Source

Nah that's GoldSrc there fam ;)

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

> Shadowbringers
> There are fewer shadows in Norvrandt than before because of your actions

On the other hand:

> Endwalker
> Literally walk to the end
> Strong art thou, mortal

[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 3 points 2 days ago (6 children)

To take a shit is now a game mechanic?

[–] usrtrv@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Kingdom Come 1 promised this as a mechanic but then didn't implement it. There are still toilets but you can only read books on them.

[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 2 points 1 day ago

Sexy books?

[–] TheOakTree@lemm.ee 4 points 1 day ago

I remember in ARK you would periodically shit a sphere. I forget what it can be used for though. It is definitely a game mechanic :)

[–] BaroqueInMind@lemmy.one 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

In this game there is a full optional nutritional/metabolic tracking mechanic, where you can leverage taking poops and use it to distract enemies, attract predators, or weaponize them to get other players in-game diseases

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 11 points 2 days ago (3 children)

In Duke Nukem 3D you could take a crap in the bathroom, and that game is from 1996.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 3 points 1 day ago

Duke only pissed; on the first level you could find an alien taking a dump tho

[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Duke also poops a poop in an aliens neck after ripping the head off!

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 6 points 2 days ago

Truly a game ahead of its time

[–] lessthanluigi 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

> Duke Nukem

> No Dukes and no Nuclear explosions

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Duke Nukem is the name of the protagonist you dingus

[–] joyjoy@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

3D

It shows up as 2D on my monitor.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You can move in 3D space, as opposed to the previous games, which were side scrollers.

[–] Robust_Mirror@aussie.zone 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Zero hour

Takes longer than zero hours.

[–] Nikko882@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Well, the problem is clearly that it is not.
(In case you are actually confused "duty calls" or "I hear the call of duty" (or "I hear the call of nature") can mean the speaker needs to take a shit.)

[–] deathmetal27@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

"Call of doody"

Also, anon could be referring to the fact that soldiers on the field tend to dig holes to shit if there is no toilet available. Call of duty being a military based game could have had shitting mechanics like how actual soldiers in the field do.

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 days ago

It is in the Sims. Including "The Sims Bustin' Out" which is an RPG.