this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
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[–] loaf@sh.itjust.works 48 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Jesus has been pretty silent since that whole “death” thing. Like every other human.

[–] Skasi@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Like every other human.

Why is only every other dead human silent? What about the other half?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Not every human is silent after death. What about that time grave robbers stole Rasputin's body and heard it scream while they burned it?

[–] Valso@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 week ago

They must have been Sam & Dean, otherwise why burn it? 😂

[–] loaf@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago

Okay, I laughed incredibly hard at this comment 😂

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Built up gasses lead to flatulence.

[–] MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 weeks ago

If those zealots could read they’d be very upset…

[–] gizmonicus@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I saw one the other day: "I met Jesus in prison". Damn, what did he do?

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 35 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

He was getting deported for being an immigrant.

[–] Hobo@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Well if the son of god had filed all the right paperwork and gone through the proper channels then he wouldn't be getting deported.

[–] takeda@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Reminds me of the clip I saw yesterday or day before where MAGATs actually said that they would welcome Jesus’ in US as long as he came legally.

Edit: found it https://youtube.com/shorts/0eBnr2sFyoI

[–] Hobo@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Holy shit. Really?!? Someone who is a supposed Christian is like, "Trump is righter than Jesus." The Onion was right these people are beyond parody.

[–] obsidianfoxxy7870@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Called them once when I was very bored. The person on the other side, refused to accept any bit of evidence. I asked him about queer youth suicide rates, his response "part of gods plan" or some kind of shit like that.

Like fuck off with that.

[–] Lucky_777@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If Jesus is to be believed like the man he was. No way he would give two shits about you changing genders. "Oh you want to change genders my child? Will you hurt anyone in the process?"

"No"

"Then go forth, son or daughter and bring light to the world"

MAGA- what a woke ass lib Jesus was.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Doubtful.

His culture was not kind to anything other than the approved gender norms.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

I don't think Jesus ever personally weighs in on divorce. Or even war. But we know he hated wealth.

"It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 19:24

[–] pacology@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

What?

"What God has joined together, let not man separate" Matthew 19:6 and Mark 10:9) definitely refers to marriage and is the main reason behind the catholic/Protestant schism.

War is less explicit but there’s definitely a bunch of passages about non violence (e.g., the mountain speech).

[–] masterbaexunn@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Mathew 10: 34 "Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 And a person's enemies will be those of his own household.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

I mean it’s a death cult. Basically he has to separate and isolate his followers or else they’d start to catch on that he was taking advantage of them.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

I think he rather said that with a cheesy car salesmen grin and a hand out.

“You have a problem. But I’ve got a solution… gimme yo money and just don’t be rich!”

[–] barnaclebutt@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Obviously, blindly support MAGA without a spark of understanding of irony.

[–] ordinarylove@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

so much of the imperial interior is just miles and miles of deserted, fossil fuel industry scarred land and nothing but these imperial cult billboards and the occasional dead walmart town

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

I think there is something about Jesus beating people like you with a whip until they left the church, is that what you're talking about?

[–] Ameripol@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Out of curiosity, is this image from Missouri? I swear I've seen that exact billboard ad on both I-70 and I-55.

[–] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Matthew 5:6 for context

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled."

Correct me if wrong but it has no relevance on the billboard which is hilarious.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

I hunger for righteousness. Fill me up, daddy.

[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 weeks ago

They are being honest about preying on vulnerable people via religion, it seems.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

"Who you gonna call?!"

[–] Gowron_Howard@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Is Jesus answering the phone?

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago

I saw one from the same org that was openly supporting creationism and had the Ascent of Man crossed out, so I doubt you'll get anywhere with them if you do call.

[–] DrFistington@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Hmm. Is this like playing rock paper scissors with Jesus? I think Jesus will go with divorce, the opposite of which is wealth. Chose wealth!

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 weeks ago

Yes

Jesus says yes