this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
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How about an adolescent kangaroo?

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[–] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Probably a medium sized dog, if I’m being realistic. I can’t fight a fucking bear or box a kangaroo or wrestle an alligator

[–] darreninthenet@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 years ago

You can it's just unlikely you'd win

[–] FluffyPotato@lemm.ee 5 points 2 years ago

None, I would think how bad I felt if I hurt the cute furry friend, then tried to pet them instead and get mauled.

[–] thelsim@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 years ago

Anything larger than a small insect already freaks me out, so I'm going to pass on this challenge :)

[–] Curious_Canid@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 years ago (5 children)

What's just a little smaller than a goose? I do know my limitations.

[–] MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I would seriously consider some of the larger animals discussed here, if necessary, in self defense.

But not a goose. A goose comes at me, and I'm going to flee. Those suckers mean business.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 years ago (4 children)

That seems manageable. Geese resort to fowl play.

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[–] cooopsspace@infosec.pub 4 points 2 years ago (5 children)

A kangaroo would fking shred you. And while you're trying to hold your intestines in it'll then beat the snot out.

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[–] Bonifratz@feddit.de 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

No idea, a capybara maybe?

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[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

A really, really, really sick elephant, so far gone that it cannot move anyway

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[–] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (6 children)

How about an adolescent kangaroo?

I reckon a full grown kangaroo. Not that I think I'm stronger (or that it wouldn't fuck me up), but in a fight to the death I think I could outsmart it and outmaneouver it.

I do not think this is close to a 100% certainty though.

[–] Faceman2K23@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 years ago

gotta get behind him, one good kick to the abdomen and your intestines will be hanging out where they don't belong.

those fuckers are strong and their claws can be deadly.

[–] conciselyverbose@kbin.social 4 points 2 years ago

Those fuckers can move.

[–] NataliePortland@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Ya I think you could get behind it and maybe do a headlock. Maybe?

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

SWEEP THE LEG!

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[–] Granixo@feddit.cl 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

A fat orange cat 🐈❤️

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[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Do my hands have to stay bare?

Like, if there's a stick around, can I pick up the stick? If there are rocks around, can I throw some rocks?

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[–] Nioxic@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

On land?

A seal or penguin

[–] OceanSoap@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 years ago

They're both pretty slippery though.

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[–] MooseBoys@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (9 children)

By mass or dimensional extent? If the latter, Japanese Spider Crab (12ft wide). If the former, a large dairy cow (2400lbs).

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[–] Sordid@kbin.social 2 points 2 years ago

Depends. Do I need to win or is a draw an acceptable outcome? If it's the latter, the blue whale. What's it gonna do, beach itself?

[–] Ejh3k@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (9 children)

I've thought about this kind of question for a long time. I reckon I can beat up about 85% of the world's population. I am a large man with quite a bit of experience fighting, none in a ring or a cage.

With that said, probably a fully grown dromedary.

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