this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2025
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LeopardsAteMyFace

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'I never thought leopards would eat MY face,' sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party.

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[–] Twongo@lemmy.ml 214 points 2 months ago (2 children)

bummer. i wonder how this could've been prevented :/

[–] Macchi_the_Slime@piefed.blahaj.zone 64 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (14 children)

Edit: Sorry y'all, I've been informed I have apparently committed the gave sin of engaging in the Wrong Kind of Fun for this Community. Apparently my shitpost comment is a "selfawarewolves" and not a "leopardsatemyface" and as such is a grave transgression. I can only hope my execution is swift and merciful lmao. o7 Godspeed comrades.

~~What do you mean 99.9999% of the "illegals" aren't actually viscous criminals and it's all just... random dudes like my neighbor Josue from Church? But he's One of the Good Ones™ dagnabbit! I had wanted all them damned "Trendy R Agua" guys Joe Brandon flooded the country with to steal the election for the Demon Rats and bankrupt my SNAP and Medicare gone.~~

~~-- That guy, probably~~

~~They can never explain to me how they actually steal the election when these people can't vote and nobody has ever proven they do or have. Never mind the fact that these people pay into these programs without being able to actually receive them statutorily most everywhere. Or that Trump is actively gutting them.~~

[–] Amuletta@lemmy.ca 19 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Are viscous criminals a bit thick?

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[–] tburkhol@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Edit: Sorry y’all, I’ve been informed I have apparently committed the gave sin of engaging in the Wrong Kind of Fun for this Community.

Yeah, you should ignore that dude. Seems to have made a hobby of telling people "That's not LAMF" and collecting downvotes.

I, for one, thought "Trendy R aqua" was great. The Mexican branch of Hydro Homies.

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[–] MBech@feddit.dk 16 points 2 months ago

Idk, but maybe some of those people yelling "don't trust them, they're all racist pieces of shit" had some kind of point.

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 175 points 2 months ago (3 children)

You voted for a man with 34 felony convictions, found to be civilly liable for rape, whose best friends were human trafficking pedofiles and called for an insurrection live on TV because you thought he would follow the law?

[–] Mirshe@lemmy.world 30 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I might go so far as to say Trump was also probably a trafficker. I think that's the reason he's still scrambling to scrub everything from the Epstein files, because he knows he's dead meat on the world stage otherwise. I'm willing to chalk up the whole "restarting child separation" thing in 2016 up to racism, but then for ICE/CBP to just brazenly state "we have no idea where they went" reeks of "we just have this black van and some of the kids go in there, and some of the kids go to foster homes."

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[–] Amuletta@lemmy.ca 88 points 2 months ago (4 children)

The goons that ICE hires aren't bright enough to distinguish between legal and illegal. They recently tried to arrest Elaine Miles, who played Marilyn on Northern Exposure. She isn't the only indigenous person that they've tried this with.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/nov/28/elaine-miles-actor-ice-detained-id-fake

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 30 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Hell, they've sent actual citizens to be tortured in a site in El Salvador.

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[–] Macchi_the_Slime@piefed.blahaj.zone 27 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)

I 100% believe that a big reason they're so adamant about the masks is because they pulled from a bunch of those white supremacist militias to pad out their numbers. Illegal to them is absolutely just "not white enough" or "not speaking enough English" for them.

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[–] Aljernon@lemmy.today 71 points 2 months ago (3 children)

There was a Mexican immigrant at work from a more financially secure family who travelled back to Mexico for a visit right when the ICE problems were exploding; he couldn't understand our surprise that we would risk it. "I'm not illegal, I have all my papers". Bro, none of your white citizen coworkers think this has anything to do with immigration status, the crackdown is just about racism.

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[–] Enkers@sh.itjust.works 69 points 2 months ago

Obligatory: Have the day you voted for! o7

[–] Zink@programming.dev 68 points 2 months ago (52 children)

That last paragraph about ~"we voted maga ... we want the illegals gone ... never thought the leopards would victimize myyyyy immigrant" sounds so on-the-nose and oblivious that it makes it sound like a badly written fake.

But as a white USian from a conservative family, and especially during this wonderful holiday time of year, I know in my heart that I am not-too-distantly related to people who are every bit that ignorant about the world.

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[–] AtariDump@lemmy.world 63 points 2 months ago (6 children)
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[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 54 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I cannot even fathom being so stupid as to think this wouldn't have happened to me or that posting this would matter in the least. If anything, Republicans are reading that and belly laughing at how fucking gullible they are for believing anything trump says.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 15 points 2 months ago

But they’re hurting the wrong people!

[–] hanrahan@piefed.social 46 points 2 months ago
[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 41 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Tf is Trump Curious? 🤮🤮🤮

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 47 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 18 points 2 months ago

Bubba posting

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[–] Tyrq@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 2 months ago

"society is okay and all, but what if we burned it down so the Nazis can take over"

[–] fodor@lemmy.zip 41 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Fake. Anyone who actually knows the process knows that there are almost zero illegals. Immigration violations are civil infractions. Like parking tickets, or not mowing your lawn.

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[–] Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 37 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Have the life you voted for Kesilisms. MAGA beta importing a foreign wife because American women aren't interested in raising a man child.

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[–] X@piefed.world 32 points 2 months ago

Sucks to suck, bud.

[–] Stanley_Pain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 30 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"I Never Thought" pretty much sums it up.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 29 points 2 months ago

I never thought...

We know.

[–] sleepdrifter@startrek.website 27 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Good lord that comment section

[–] bunkyprewster@startrek.website 43 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Like this guy, who just puts it out there.

[–] underisk@lemmy.ml 23 points 2 months ago (2 children)

two-word000 usernames are a sign of a bot or a person you might as well treat as one.

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (3 children)

It's also just a default given name if you don't choose one. Not necessarily a bot. Likely, but not out of the question.

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[–] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

God bless the leopards. May the cat guide you.

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[–] LoafedBurrito@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

Hahaha. Sucks to suck.

[–] SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 2 months ago

This is the stupidity we are up against.

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