this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2025
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vibrators are WRONG and unnatural the bible said adam and eve not Florence and the machine

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[–] pringus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 106 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

florence and the machine sounds like a great band name

[–] brap@lemmy.world 75 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Florence and the machine is a great band name. You should look them up 🙂

[–] pringus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 76 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

this is my "google en passant", holy hell

[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 29 points 2 weeks ago

You are really one of today’s Lucky 10,000. She’s a hell of a singer and you’ve quite likely heard some of their music in films or shows and not known.

[–] wander1236@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 weeks ago

This is truly incredible

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

It's more than just a good name, its also a good band

[–] Erasmus@lemmy.world 37 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Bruh - I hope you are joking, if not search out their album Lungs. It’s fantastic. It had their single ‘Dog Days are Over’

[–] pringus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 32 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

not joking, just had hyper-conservative parents, so most music from the early to mid 00's is new

will definitely check it out, thanks

[–] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Wait, did I just get to witness a today's lucky 10,000 moment?

Yeah, they're pretty great. My brother saw them live. Personally I think Ceremonials is a better starting point than Lungs. I'd say dip into both and see if either of them grab you.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago

Oh mate, that's adorable! I hope you have fun! And just in case Rage Against The Machine is also an amazing band. You probably should give them a listen, if only for your education!

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Oh shit you're in for a treat. Their music is amazing.

That song is great, but my favorite is Queen of Peace.

they should do rage against the machine covers

[–] Icytrees@sh.itjust.works 53 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

It's not Adam and Eve, it's Eve and the Ten Speed 14" Sly Serpent Girthmaster XL with Harness

[–] germanatlas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 35 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The only search result for this vibrator name is this post. Congrats on coming up with a completely new arrangements of words

[–] Icytrees@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Would you believe I spent ten minutes looking for a relevant snake dildo before giving up? There's a gap in the market just waiting to be filled.

[–] FluorineBalloon@programming.dev 2 points 2 weeks ago

That last sentence could be it's marketing tagline!

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I believe in gender equality. Adam can get a Cocksqueezer 9000 Pro Ultra Max Leet Pro.

[–] irelephant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 2 weeks ago

He can use the girthmaster as well.

[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 weeks ago

It has a harness, Eve can use it on him

[–] DagwoodIII@piefed.social 9 points 2 weeks ago

Oddly specific

[–] katja@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago

Ohh. I want one too.

[–] lauha@lemmy.world 29 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Tell that to all the churches playing organs. Are organs biblical? Definitely not.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Churches fighting about who's got the biggest organ.

[–] zedgeist@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

They like putting big organs in their temples 😏

[–] Klear@quokk.au 5 points 2 weeks ago

*taps temple*

[–] Klear@quokk.au 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] lauha@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Does Bible talk about organic food? Definitely not.

[–] isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 weeks ago

Oh yeah, I "play the organ"

[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 24 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The Bible says Adam and Eve, which is the store to get vibrators at. Checkmate christians

[–] KawaiiBitch@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I mean, it feels good... It's just not sexual. I think when I sit around at the computer idly going, it's akin to kids who are young, like beginning around 3-6, that you'll see doing similar things. Freud (who had really great observations, really shitty explanations of them) even had an entire stage for it. It's not because they're imagining carnal relations with others or all the emotional attachments of a (sometimes nascent) relationship leading to lust that builds into a desire to violently make with the genital friction.

[–] 87Six@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 weeks ago

I mean, it feels good… It’s just not sexual.

I feel like I've been lobomized

[–] germanatlas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Becky has a rage against the machine

[–] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago

implying that rage against the machine includes vibrators reminds me of 'acab includes Judy Hopps'

[–] jlow@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 weeks ago

Hate against the wrong machine, though. Vibrator = good machine, capitalism = bad machine.

[–] Armpitbagette@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 weeks ago

Becky is no fun in bed. She probably only has missionary on the first Saturday of the month between 9 and 11 pm. If you miss the window, its your fucking problem man, just wait another month.

[–] Doomsider@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Vibrators are natural as they exist in our world. Unnatural would be like a ghost or something that is not of this world.

On top of that the Bible says absolutely nothing about vibrators.

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

didn't Egypcians fill gourds with angry bees to wank?

that's a natural vibe

[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

How did they separate the angry bees from the merely ill tempered bees?

I'm not saying it was aliens. But it was aliens.

I think they put the angry afterwards.

although imagine if someone accidentally used a queen bee.

[–] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

the cum coconut 2700BC edition

[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 3 points 2 weeks ago

It's either all God's plan or none of it is.

Therefore, by their own logic, vibratory masturbation is holy.

Yea but florence is a great artist smh

[–] froufox@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago

hot take: vibrators are ok, genocide is unnatural and sacrilegious

[–] EchoCranium@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 weeks ago

Have you seen that lady perform? Florence has boundless energy, dancing around the stage the whole performance. She probably needs her machine, no normal man is gonna have the stamina to keep up with that!

[–] PixelPilgrim@lemmings.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Adann and Eve didn't even eat