I honestly cannot tell if this is satire or real, my friends are weird enough to do this
this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2025
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It was confirmed to be a joke in the replies.
Pornhub for Enterprise is a real thing??
might be their name their internal orgy recording archival jellyfin instance
It's better than a broken arcade machine.
It's very delicately skirting that line
I'm in the same boat. This seems insane, but I know several friends and coworkers who would be all about this.
Poe's law strikes again
Pornhub for enterprise?
It's satire of course. But a well researched ticket.
I think this is the way for satire. Exactly one obvious falsehood in a sea of stuff you can’t entirely discount.
Actually no. Salesforce too. You know what I mean. The ratio is delicate.
They pointed cameras at the Windows for Workgroups.
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This took me a minute to parse but I have concluded that it is fucking hilarious
I don't understand, do they have some kind of VPS with Jellyfin etc. via SSO / LDAP for their polyamorous group? And they even have a ticket system? How many people are they seeing? My chronically single ass is so confused rn.
mono folx really underestimate the logistics that go into making poly relationships work.
Trying to play helldivers with 3 out of the 4 people in one has been such a nightmare of being invited in and asked to leave so #4 can join, I can only imagine it being worse being in it
Then again I'm probably not a good judge considering I don't think I could handle a mono relationship
Honestly, calendaring is probably the hardest part. Managing the authentication and OU structure of a complicated polycule is simple in comparison
Right‽ I really want an open source, private, simple, self hosted way to cleanly aggregate everyone's calendars when they're all using different google/microsoft/apple/work ones.
google calendar and outlook can both kinda do it and Android does it pretty well in calendar apps but otherwise there's a lot of manually messing around with icals and CalDav.
I'd love a simple, polycule-friendly docker container with a web interface where you can log in and it lets you add all your calendars (or create private ones) and share them with other partners. Throw in a cross-platform mobile app for good measure.
There's stuff like nextcloud but the integration with other calendars seems a bit iffy and it's got a lot of extra corporatey cloud stuff. It would be nice to have one that's simple and quick enough for non-techy people to use.
Cal.com. It's also open source.
I keep telling myself I need an excuse to figure out how to make docker containers.....
And they even have a ticket system? How many people are they seeing?
I legit sent this to my poly group because I've got more than a few technicals friend in there that would giggle about that.
I almost tagged my old manager too, specifically because my throuple jokes about the number of people in their partner space. I can't talk too much because she and I share more than a few partners 😅
Yeah, as a single person I just download torrents from a torrents tracker, watch them locally, and delete afterwards if there are enough seeders besides me. Feels kinda zen compared to all the mess other people are doing.
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Having a dedicated VPS with LDAP and SSO for your relationship is funny enough, but the fact that they just add Zs and Es as more Zoes are added to the system instead of just zoe1, zoe1, zoe3, etc is hilarious.
Does everyone here not manage SSO across the VMS that handle their daily computing with something like FreeIPA? AM I NOT NORMAL?
Semi-/s
I am pretty sure managing FreeIPA and being in a relationship are mutually exclusive.
Honestly for a while I thought so too lmao.
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The worst thing about the polyamorous community are the ridiculous puns.
The best part is the group sex.
Why did you say the best part twice?
My brain may be too polysaturated right now to understand that.
I did once get rejected by a polyamorous who deadass told me she was "polysaturated" at the moment though
I feel that rejection mood tho. After a certain point, adding another partner just adds so much overhead that it's a pain to deal with (or you can't give everyone what they need).
I mean, absolutely.
I'm not complaining. Rejection happens, it's a part of life and I don't get bent out of shape over it.
The word polysaturated is ridiculous though.
the best is the group cuddle
I mean, sure, it’s a joke, but is it weird that I read that and thought “That’s kind of hot”?
Check your email.
Please read the attached terms. Accept the virtual interview invitation if and only if you meet our requirements.
Talk soon 😘
Nix clusters lmao. 10/10 detail.
Must love neovim so much ve uses ve/vim neopronouns
I think the Greater Seattle Polycule is set up with all this stuff, and I wish I was joking.
I think that not only is this real, it’s not even intended to be a joke.
At least Portland’s transbian dating scheme has a few fissures in it that keep it from adopting a fucking enterprise model.
As someone who was part of the Greater Seattle Polycule, this is so close to reality I wouldn't be surprised either if some people are up to stuff like this. Planning dates often required the type of schedule organizing you can only accomplish with office experience. Hell I bought an employee room locker to put in my apartment to keep everyone's stuff organized. There's enough trans tech workers that sometimes you wind up with an enterprise tool in the mix. I've never personally seen it implemented to this level but yeah, whether to be ironic or a legitimate organizational need I would not be surprised.
We'd also share account access to media to the point where if there was a breakup with someone who had a high value account we'd organize who would take on a new account and if it needed group funded. I don't even know who owned some of the accounts I had access to and I suspect I have an account gleefully chugging away being paid for by someone and it might not even be under my email anymore.
Internally giggling/cringing at the idea of using Bookings to plan dates. Big symbolism when you give someone access to your ‘overnights’ service.
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The Greater Seattle Policule sounds like an anarchist faction in a post-apoc game I'd love to play.
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So many hilarious details in this
The worst part is the image compression.
I see these comments, does your client not have a hugh res button? I think you can toggle it to always fetch the high res but its to save bandwidth
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Yeaaaah I was pretty sure "Pornhub for Enterprise" isn't real, but still had to look it up. Could have fooled me otherwise.
Especially because this ticks a lot of boxes for me. Well. Apart from the polycule.
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