this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] TheNamlessGuy@lemmy.world 128 points 14 hours ago (3 children)

Why would you post this without context? IIRC this was in response to someone complaining that Goblin Slayer was about slaying goblins, and no other monsters

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social -1 points 1 hour ago

I mean... That guy does kinda have a point. Demon Slayers slay more than demons. Speed Racer does more than race (and I never once saw him doing speed). Sailor Moon isn't just the one titular character. 🤷‍♂️

[–] onionsinmypores@sh.itjust.works 55 points 13 hours ago

This is very important, thanks

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 52 points 18 hours ago (3 children)
[–] Hozerkiller@lemmy.ca 7 points 10 hours ago

It's because goblin slayer is about a guy slaying just goblins.

[–] notreallyhere@lemmy.world 24 points 18 hours ago

no. this makes complete sense.

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 6 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I think the British put tomato sauce in their canned beans.

[–] GandalftheBlack@feddit.org 4 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah, the commercially available baked beans (not baked) are in a horrible sweet tomato sauce. I haven't eaten any in a long time.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 0 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

while American food is never disgusting.

[–] GandalftheBlack@feddit.org 2 points 4 hours ago

Two things can be disgusting

[–] Protoknuckles@lemmy.world 39 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Is this a metaphor I'm not recognizing?

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 1 points 8 hours ago

No, it's a response to someone complaining that you only kill Goblins in the game Goblin Slayer

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 12 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

It's a metaphor for entitled Karens

[–] SantasMagicalComfort@piefed.world 9 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Why did you say Karens twice?

[–] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 5 points 11 hours ago

Sahara desert.

[–] AnarchoEngineer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (3 children)

Fake: one can is surely not a bit too many beans

Gay: My gay friends eat beans. Anon eats beans. Ergo, anon is gay. QED.


Edit: My roommate, who is pansexual, says I should have said anon is pan “because you can put beans in a pan” …I think we might both just be very sleep deprived because, rereading this, I’m not sure either joke is actually funny at all but we’re cracking up lol

[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 hours ago

no no no, you're right that's a good joke

[–] coherent_domain@infosec.pub 6 points 15 hours ago

You can also put tomato and salad in a pan, but there is no tomato and salad, and that is sad.

[–] onionsinmypores@sh.itjust.works 1 points 13 hours ago

The fakeness and gayness test is always mandatory, don't worry about funniness

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 13 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Am I too normal to understand this?

According to another comment this was in response to someone complaining that Goblin Slayer only has Goblins and no other monsters.

So Anon "Bought a Can of Beans" by watching an anime about a guy called the Goblin Slayer, and is mad that there "Wasn't any salad in the Can of Beans," because all he does is... Slay Goblins.

[–] Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world 10 points 18 hours ago

It's a mad world.

[–] janus2@lemmy.zip 8 points 18 hours ago

i hope anon takes their meds :(