I guarantee you they told him to take baby aspirin (81 mg) and his big beautiful brain decided baby wasnt good enough so he went for full strength (325 mg)
this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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My doctors, they said my labs came back and said they were the highest any if them had ever seen, they said they called all their doctor friends to tell them all about me, they said "you're not gonna believe his numbers," frankly.
Narrator: He was talking about his INR, and the phone call was the lab tech performing the critical value callback.
Many people say blood is thicker than water...I don't know. I don't think so. Not mine. Not during my presidency. Once I'm done they will be saying that water is thicker than blood. Water will be like sludge slowly moving through, it'll be so slow folks. My bood will be fast, faster than anything anyone has seen. Faster than water. They won't even know how to measure it. The blood cuff won't cut it. They will squeeze the little ball and nothing happens because my blood is so thin. Pressure is impossible. I put a lot of pressure on my people, my beautiful people and I am very used to pressure. But not my blood. There is no more pressure and my heart beats very quietly because my blood is so thin. Very very quietly. The doctors can't hear it anymore and they say that they have never seen a heart beat so quietly folks. It's the first time in history.
aaaand a freshly minted Lich in 3, 2, 1...
die already
How does someone not shiver saying "thin blood pouring through my heart"?
As someone who knows extremely little medically speaking I personally wouldn't know what the drawbacks are, however in my defense I would take my doctor's advice on the matter; I know a bunch of old people myself so I understand that the older generation can be stubborn around medical professionals, and they've also ended up hurting themselves because they thought they knew better than doctors on medical matters
I literally just meant the image of what he said, but I certainly agree.
Lol if homie really had a stroke they'd want him on other anticoagulants besides aspirin, and if they wanted him taking aspirin at all, they'd really want it at 81 mg instead.
Wonder what other medical advice he's ignoring.
I mean, hopefully all of it and he runs his body into the ground like he’s trying to do with this country.
I had to be on high doses of aspirin and ibuprofen after an injury. I had to alternate them every 4 hours so I wouldn’t completely nuke my liver and I could only be on that schedule for a week. Doc said if I did too much all at once, or even just a standard dose all the time, it can kill you.
I always thought 81mg was such an arbitrary number. Why not 80?
Historic relic. The prior system to metric in medicine was the apothecary system and it used a standard called barleycorn as its unit. One grain of barleycorn was approx 64mg, and the standard dose of aspirin was 1.25 grains, or 81mg. Now 81mg hangs around as an in-joke.
Why is it 81?
Because of barleycorns.
---
It sounds like a bit.
There's a lot of stuff like that. In computer science, unexpected program errors are called "bugs" because the very first unexpected program error was due to a moth getting into the punch card system of an early computer.
QWERTY layouts persist in keyboards because they were copying typewriters. Typewriters were QWERTY to reduce the risk of colliding typebars by making common letters distant from each other, an intentional inefficiency.
Until 2001, US stocks were priced in dollars and sixteenth fractions, because the US stock system was based on the 1600s Spanish system, which used pieces of eight (1/8ths of a doubloon).
It's part of aspirin's legacy as one of humanity's oldest drugs. There's an old dose unit called grains. One grain = approx 64.8 mg. A full dose of aspirin is 5 grains, or 324 mg, and 1/4 of that is 81 mg.
Edit: what fox said.
I always thought 81mg was such an arbitrary number.
It's 100mg in Australia
Heresy
I think it cancels out with the mcdonalds
I think that's why he takes it, your arteries can't clog up with grease if your blood is too thin to clot 
Does McDonald's act as a coagulant?
Yes bad cholesterol will cause plaques. High sodium will cause hypertension which can hurt your arteries.
I knew about those two, but isn't that different from what a coagulant does?
Well its not like theyre sticking TXA into mcdonalds lol
A low dose for blood thinning wouldn't be unusual, but heart medication is really something that you want to dial in precisely. Not that it makes much of a difference in his case, the necromancers will just throw in an extra phylactery and sacrifice an additional baby heart to counter the spontaneous maw growths on his back.
Is this a joke? Even if he did say that, is it actually true? I don't know anything any more.
https://www.wsj.com/us-news/as-signs-of-aging-emerge-trump-responds-with-defiance-769c5dcd
He said it in an interview, yeah. His views on his own personal health are a little strange but pretty close to the median boomer tbh (I work with a lot of broken bone and sick older people). I can see any of my patients being told to take baby aspirin and deciding they need the full dose instead. People will spray Ventolin on their necks instead of breathing it down. Med administration teaching isn't the best but honestly health literacy is terrible too.
Ventolin on the neck?
This pains me as an asthmatic
Paywalled for me. Regardless, I'd believe it, but I'd also believe he heard "Aspirin" and just said some words.
Very thin blood from a standpoint of width
If he got pregnant, would his child be autistic or is aspirin a different one?
They were targetting tylenol for some reason.
Awful Tylenol destroys livers, is made in a LAB, and gives kids super autism. Beautiful Aspirin thins the blood, comes from big beautiful willow trees, and was won from those evil Germans as reparations.
(Kinda funny that only one of those statements is false.)
It's going to be so funny when this monster dies. Even the normies will laugh.
Curious to know what would happen to my ex since when he takes ibuprofen, or what have you, he takes 8-10 200mg capsulates(?) when he's got foot pain or a headache. What do doses like this do to the human body over time? Would love to know so I can tell the next dum dum to kick rocks and not bother with them.
That's a lot of Advil. 2g is probably too much at once. You max out at 2.4g total a day. The main thing youd see with too much and too often NSAIDs is like gastro bleeds and hurting your liver. Probably anemia too, but that'll show up as your ex being like tired. Itsbalso not great on your kidneys
He was like 300lbs so maybe it was as bad as it could be but it always bothered me, that and the very least he'd take were 4 at once.
He really wants those blue eyes huh
Does that do that?
No, it's just a meme lol
blue eyes
He's jealous of Me, the beautiful Oscar François de Jarjayes. He's too Scottish to be cool.
Ever notice that Trump is partially ethnically German? Just like Hitler is at least partially ethnically German? Neither of which had blue eyes?
Trump is searching for the Blue Eyes White Dragon card
He got the thinnest blood, folks. The doctors were amazed, they said it was the thinnest blood they've ever seen.
Also, has "very thin skin"... in more ways than the cognitive amoeba can consider
He should be dead by now, so the thin blood theory kind of holds up
More importantly is he taking his Ibuprofen?
Thin blood, thin skin, heh 
You mean like the one he got from a bullet?