this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2026
725 points (96.4% liked)

Not The Onion

19455 readers
840 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Sorry for the trash rag.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] zikzak025@lemmy.world 295 points 2 weeks ago (10 children)

'You would never find a nicer, kinder person,' the father added about his son. 'He's a committed, conservative Christian, a tremendous father, a tremendous husband. I couldn't be more proud of him.'

"Nice" and "kind" seem mutually exclusive with "committed, conservative Christian"

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 134 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You have heard that it was said, "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth." But I say to you, if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to her and shoot her in the face three times.

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago

As a conservative Christian, I can tell you that white Jesus hates immigrants and loves justice. 🔫🔫🔫✝️✝️✝️

[–] CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de 81 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

“Nice” and “kind” seem mutually exclusive with being an Exclusion and Removal ICE terrorist.

“Committed, conservative Christian” is supposed to welcome immigrants but who listens to that Jesus guy right? Certainly not Christians.

[–] ms_lane@lemmy.world 34 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

Love thy neighbor* (conditions apply)

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] BonkTheAnnoyed@lemmy.blahaj.zone 49 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

I have personally known abusers that are so charming and considerate and kind outside of the home that it makes the abused person question reality, and trying to talk about it to people they know feel impossible.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 248 points 2 weeks ago (10 children)

He's a committed, conservative Christian, a tremendous father, a tremendous husband.

He's also a murderer. These things are not mutually exclusive. Being a good dad doesn't excuse putting a bullet in the head of a good mom.

[–] cmbabul@lemmy.world 82 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

He’s not saying he’s good because he’s a good father and husband, he’s citing those as evidence for him being a good conservative Christian, which is the only thing that matters to them. If you identify as exactly that you can do anything and still be a good person.

The rich have co-opted Christianity and the insane devotion its internal logic creates to build their perfect foot soldiers

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 74 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

"Conservative Christian" means "not at all aligned with the teachings of Jesus Christ".

[–] cmbabul@lemmy.world 37 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

It means gullible and incurious… but also yes

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago

It means women are less. But also yes.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] blarth@thelemmy.club 41 points 2 weeks ago (9 children)

conservative Christian

Fucking gross.

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] Shamber@lemmy.world 39 points 2 weeks ago

Just using the word tremendous (orange toddler special) to describe him, should tell us about the what kind of household he was raised in.

[–] underscores@lemmy.zip 23 points 2 weeks ago

Everyone makes the "he was a good boy" defense, it only seems to work for white people.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 193 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (17 children)

He is a murderer.

He is a murderer.

He is a murderer.

He murdered a woman in cold blood. Nothing else about his life matters. He murdered someone in front of their spouse. He murdered a child’s mother. We all watched it happen. Give him the chair with Noem and Trump alongside him.

[–] SippyCup@lemmy.ml 17 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The chair is far too peaceful an option

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (16 replies)
[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 132 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

"He will not be charged with anything ... {then some bullshit justification} ... I couldn't be more proud of him."
So his dad couldn't be more proud of his son shooting an unarmed mother who had just dropped off her 6 year old daughter at school.
I wonder if the scum bag murderer's wife is also proud of him? I wonder if she has any morals and decency about her at all?

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 35 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, but he doesn't know her so it's fine

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 91 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

has an immigrant wife

bet she’s Asian

married to a woman with Filipino parents

Ding ding. What a surprise.

[–] Stamau123@lemmy.world 54 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Never ask a white supremacist what race his girlfriend is

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 19 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Also quite young looking. Bet he married her on her 18th birthday.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 90 points 2 weeks ago

Oh so he's just a cold blooded murderer rather than a racist cold blooded murderer, thanks daily mail, particularly given the person he shot in the face 4 times wasn't an immigrant in the first place ..

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 84 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

JD Vance has a Indian wife and half-indian children. And he's still pushing for racist acts, things that his own wife and kids would be affected by.

Let's stop pretending like anybody should get a pass for intermingling outside their race.

[–] eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Microtonal_Banana@lemmy.zip 76 points 2 weeks ago

That makes him more of a piece of shit.

[–] Gammelfisch@lemmy.world 68 points 2 weeks ago

His father can eat shit for defending a murderer.

[–] 58008@lemmy.world 57 points 2 weeks ago

You would never find a nicer, kinder person...

Hey have you heard of this woman called Renee Good?

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 54 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Feels like ICE agent or Trump supporter with migrant wife/husband is a running theme.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 31 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Reminds me of conservatives who hate gays while going on Grindr.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 53 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)

His dad is a piece of shit clearly who raised a piece of shit person

[–] rarsamx@lemmy.ca 45 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

All he had to do was move aside.

The woman wasn't a threat to him. He was a threat to her and her death proves it. She moved the car after he pulled his gun.

Ignoring unlawful commands is not a crime but she was shot for that.

[–] greatwhitebuffalo41@slrpnk.net 36 points 2 weeks ago

He literally did the same thing in Chicago last year. Claimed he got "dragged" by the car and that's why he shot. Video shows him running after the car so he can reach in and shoot him.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 35 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

He didn't have to move aside. She drove around him. Her last action in life was making sure not to hurt the man who was going to kill her.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 35 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

Cool. He's also a treasonous murderer.

Jonathan Ross.

Google "Jonathan Ross Iraq photo" to find full face pictures.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 34 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I tried to be surprised.

If you hand socially disenfranchised young men a bit of power, they WILL abuse it.

[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 54 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

43 is young? Thanks, I needed that.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] grue@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

~~socially disenfranchised young men~~ middle-aged married men in positions of power

FTFY

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] SGforce@lemmy.ca 24 points 2 weeks ago

This guy is not disenfranchised in the least? He works for the fucking federal government

[–] TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 34 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

May his neck become a fountain

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 30 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

He’s a committed, conservative Christian, a tremendous father, a tremendous husband.

and now he's also a murderer

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] zbyte64@awful.systems 29 points 2 weeks ago

Oh, so there's a 40% chance he's a wife beater as well.

[–] lemmy_get_my_coat@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago

No that's different, she's one of the good ones

[–] TORFdot0@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago (17 children)

Jonathan Ross should never have been put back on duty after his first incident. He fought in Iraq as he served for the Indiana National Guard and had a long, high stress, career for Border Patrol. He should have been recognized as needing PTSD therapy and a career change after his June incident. He didn’t have to be a murderer, he was set up to be one by his superiors at ICE.

Not to absolve him of personal responsibility because he is a murderer. But I have to think it was known that he could do this and he was pushed to do it

[–] Liberal_Ghost@lemmy.zip 27 points 2 weeks ago

You're missing the point. THEY want people like him to kill people like her. Its how they are going to get thr civil war they so desperately want

load more comments (16 replies)
[–] 6stringringer@lemmy.zip 21 points 2 weeks ago

I truly do not believe that old johnny boy slept well last night. I hope he never sleeps well for a moment the rest of his life which hopefully isn’t going to be too terribly far from the end zone.

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 20 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

He probably beats his wife.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I believe that one day these ice goons will be hunted down and face justice, like the nazis did. So it is important that they get documented for the future.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Boiglenoight@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

This is who, with Stephen Miller involved, we feared works for ICE. He has a friendly face in these pictures, but his regard for human life is rock bottom.

I would not be surprised if he tells people he’s not a white supremacist, using his wife as evidence. That would not make him an opponent of race superiority, but a hypocrite. Which tracks with people who live a life with shitty values, trying to reconcile thoughts and beliefs that ultimately don’t stand up to reality.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›