But what if jesus was asexual?
ass
this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2026
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Assexual?
That would imply that there are different ways to experience sexuality. Good luck if you expect that to save you from heresy and excommunication.
Simple asexuals are mutants, probably with lasers eyes like Cyclops
Simple asexuals are mutants
What about complex asexuals?
Then it's a mutant with a laser i.
Holy shit. This might be one of the most casually perfect funny responses I’ve ever seen. Well done!
gives you lemmy silver award
I thought i had a some what funny response but then I saw this, and I just can't compete.
Aww I still wanted to see yours!
It was something along the lines of "Complex Asexuals being proof of life on mars"
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My super power is crippling anxiety and the ability to overthink any situation. Awesome.
I am kitty girl but I don't know if that counts as mutant :3
TIL Asexuals are non human.
Ace people are human
They can still have a preference: boobs or ass?
As an Asexual person myself I prefer boobs, ideally my own boobs :3 (if I had any :c)
Getting a majority of Christians to believe that would count as a miracle.
In case there are people who haven't played the over 15 year old game that is Fallout: New Vegas, that fella in the meme with the black vest and bandages is Joshua Graham, a character from that game.
He's pretty badass.
With mods, the M1911 I got from Joshua is my signature gun! It killed Legate Lanius in just a couple of shots!
the over 15 year old game
Get outta here with that nonsense
Everyone brings up asexuals but what if Jesus was a freak and into bugs or summin
[off topic]
"The Name Of The Rose"
spoiler
___The book/movie "The Name of the Rose" is about a murder committed in order to keep people from hearing the theory that Jesus must have laughed and enjoyed jokes.
There's plenty of Asexuals in this world.
Are you calling them...non-human?
That is a very dangerous path.
Being ace doesn't necessarily mean you don't enjoy non sexual stimulation or emotional contact. Don't dismiss ace people as not being into you emotionally or even physically. Listen to them and figure it out.
True, no need for sexy time all the time.
Please just pet me instead!
Are there any historically-accurate depictions of Mary Magdelene? That'd give us the answer.
Alternatively, if we go by the theory that he was gay for John the Apostle, that gives us an answer too. (I assume John didn't have boobs.)
Pecs exist
Welp, I guess that outs me as a not-gay; I didn't even think about those.
Non-gay on lemmy?? get help
I'm currently in a college Christian worldview class, figured it'd help my pagan ass understand these people, and given what I've gleamed about Jesus, he was absolutely gay.
that shit is like staring into the abyss, step 1. turn off all logical processes of your brain and just BELIEVE
Honestly yeah. I was told on signing up that it was to help Christians sort out their view in a secular world, but actually it's just reindoctrination.
Bass
Yo why do we gotta choose one or the other? I for one can admire both.
According to random ai female beauty standards of the Levant 2000 years ago were based on signs of good health and ability to bare children. Big boobs and wide hips. Don't know about JC though. He was probably a twink.
From the sounds of it he was a foot guy
Actually yeah, i forgot about that. Lol
Bit of a cannibalism kink, too.
Can you imagine those guys at the big dinner, when Jesus starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood? You don't think the guys glanced at each other in confusion? What would your reaction be if Donkey Dong Doug started talking like that at Wendy's about his fries and Mountain Dew?
Of course there's always St Andrew, had an actual piece of bondage equipment named after him.
So Jesus was canonically into foot stuff and vore. Cool, cool.
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