this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2026
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No Stupid Questions

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[–] Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de 27 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

As a German I am a little bit confused about the statements and assumptions being made here.

No, Americans don't communicate clearly, direct and context-free.
Quite the opposite in my experience.

But also: No, Germany isn't low context, despite very direct communication and being on the low-context-side of the graph shown.
Depending on region, there are a lot of implicit rules and customs you just have to know about.

Imho it's more complicated and not as black-and white as this theory wants to paint it.

[–] adespoton@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago

So… the theory itself is low context?

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 14 points 1 month ago (3 children)

The US has more than one culture, at least in terms of communication style. California is fairly low-context, and big cities in general tend to favor lower contexts, but more rural areas and smaller cities in the Midwest and South tend to have higher-context communication. I can't compare it to Paris or Tokyo, of course.

It's certainly been a problem for me, as a Midwesternern, when coastal colleagues and acquaintances don't know what the hell I'm saying because they don't bother to think about why I'm saying it, and where I think they're shockingly rude by saying things bluntly like I'm an idiot child who can't form any sort of theory of mind.

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 4 points 1 month ago

The NYC area is very low context and high volume. A lot of the rest of the Northeast is the same way.

[–] Saapas@piefed.zip 3 points 1 month ago

Almost any country has many different cultures to it

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'll agree with this. There are Midwestern "politeness" rules that defy communication.

For example, if you're visiting a Midwesterner, they will offer you something, but it's rude to take them up on it unless they insist 3 times. The exception to the rule being "I'm grabbing a ___, you want one?"

This doesn't really defy the video though, as the Midwest is more homogenous than the coastal US.

[–] andrewta@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Never heard of the concept of the have to offer three times. I’ve lived in Minnesota my entire life. I’ve never heard of this.

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They're right about the "I'm grabbing a ___, do you want one?" though.

Contrast with "I suppose I could grab a ___ for you next time I go to town" to which the correct response is "Oh, no, I wouldn't want to put you to the trouble, I'm going into town soon myself anyway" because they're not actually offering to do it, just trying to feel out how important it is to you.

[–] andrewta@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That contrast part where somebody says they’re going to town and they could grab one for you, and then supposedly you’re supposed to say no that’s OK.

I’ve literally never heard that. I’m over 50 years old. I’ve never heard of that statement. If somebody offered to do something nice for you and you can use the item. Why are you saying no? Say thank you. Tell them make sure you grab the receipts that way I can get you the money or give them the money in advance.

I’ve never heard of this concept of oh no that’s OK. Don’t put yourself out. Why are you doing that? What now you have to drive into town and spend your money when they were already in town? This makes no sense. Make sure you pay them and probably toss them a little extra cash for having made the trip and the effort.

Why would you say no? Again I’ve never heard of this concept.

What state do you live in?

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 month ago

I grew up where Iowa, Minnesota, and South Dakota cone together.

The thing is, they're not really offering to do your errand for you. They're noting that they could and asking if you want them to. And if you genuinely need it, you can then ask them to, but, and this is crucial, there's a cost. They'll be doing you a favor, and you will need to act like it, ideally by both apologizing for the trouble and repaying the favor at a later date.

It comes back to the idea of not asking people to do something unless you're reasonably sure they'll say yes. You can do this either by making gambits like the ones above to try to assess their preferences (polite) or by applying pressure (pushy). Because the only thing more rude than saying no to a request is putting someone else in a position where they have to say no to yours.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The "three times" was an arbitrary number I made up. I don't think there's actually a defined number, but you ALWAYS decline the first offer.

[–] andrewta@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I’ve never even heard of declining the first one.

I was raised if you offer something to someone and they say no. Then the answer is no. Don’t bug them.

I’m over fifty btw

It seems to be a real anthropology concept, and it kinda makes sense for my experience as french, i guess you could be in a relationship without saying "we are bf/gf", though it seems odd to not talk about your feelings if the relationship goes on for multiple dates.
I don't know what i think about this concept, partly because one justification is "countries with a very diverse population are more low context" and france is a mix of a lot of cultures, but i guess it's true in some ways.