this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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all 44 comments
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[–] some_guy 82 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

I’ve never been ashamed of or regretted licking ass.

[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 52 points 3 weeks ago

Found the dog. /s

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 38 points 3 weeks ago

So uh, you busy later?

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 weeks ago

I too have never been asshamed for licking ass

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

you've never drunk 14 beers at chilis, huh

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 38 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

The cells that licked your butthole, the parts of me that once placed tongue to ass, will be purged from my body and perish forever within seven years.

[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Pretty sure tongue cells regen pretty quickly, it might be shorter?

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Burn your tongue on a pizza roll, they'll be gone quick

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

what about capsaican? can i sweat everything out with a billion capsaicans?

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

This made me picture someone panting so hard their tongue was flopping like a dogs tongue out the car window wearing off skin cells

[–] udon@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

The cell next to the cell that touched ass touches the cell that touched ass. So indirectly it also touched ass. Once the cell that touched ass gets regenerated, it touches the cell that touched the cell that touched ass.

There is no escape.

[–] syaochan@feddit.it 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] udon@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

It's a classic

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

If I fuck your twin, did you lose your virginity?

[–] udon@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Am I the twin of myself 7 years ago?

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I apologize for the crudeness, what I mean to say is just because a part of you touches something that touched something else doesn't mean that the second thing touches the same thing as the first thing.

I guess a less rude analogy would have been, "If you put a ladle into hot soup, did you burn your finger?"

[–] udon@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

We're just having a totally sincere intellectual deliberation here about the Tongue of Theseus conundrum

[–] Ashelyn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 3 weeks ago

By that logic every cell in your body has touched a cell (that has touched a cell)^n that has touched ass

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I really shouldn’t have let go of the girl that was into doing that to me

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Well now I want MC Hammer to record a song about how you can't take back all times you licked his butthole.

Maybe it's a colab with Sir Mix-a-Lot.

[–] GreenDust@lemmings.world 26 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I LIKE
LICKED
BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 21 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face, it gets TONGUE

[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I want 'em real thick and juicy, so find that juicy double. Mix-a-Lot's in trouble! Beggin' for a piece of that bubble

[–] Skanky@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Ooooh baybee, I wanna get with ya, And lick your sphincta

[–] moistclump@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Sir Lix-a-Lot

[–] Triton420@mander.xyz 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

are we gonna have to make hammer an abe vigoda website

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 points 3 weeks ago

Finally, a use for AI.

[–] felixwhynot@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago

A vintage meme! Nice

[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 6 points 3 weeks ago

You've rimmed this.

my My MY

My bunghole felt so good

You made me say "oh my lawd"

Thank you for blessing me

With unexpected taint cleanin'

STOP

Felchin' time

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah but you'll never have that pleasure again

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] potoo22@programming.dev 5 points 3 weeks ago

Mongo is appalled

[–] ChristchurchAsshole@lemmy.ml -2 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

This is just fucked up and it shows that people these days don't have a functioning disgust reflex.

[–] nibbler@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 3 weeks ago

Being horny hampers the disgust reflex

[–] yum@lemmy.eco.br 6 points 3 weeks ago

You can wash your ass, you know

[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

If you've never eaten or had your ass eaten, you're missing out.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world -2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

And this is why I don't eat ass.

Well that and it's ass.

Correction: There is a scenario where Id eat ass. I'm not going to give it up, because if it happens it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. And nobody cares either way.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

one lick and you'll be saying, "this tastes like shit!"