I carry around a few tampons, as a cis man.
Part of my "be prepared" strategy cause you never know what life throws at you.
On one hand, tampons are perfect kindling for starting a fire in an emergency - a wad of cotton in a water-proof hull.
But in reality, it was useful a few times already, to help a female friend out.
Or to improvise ear plugs when a concert turns out to be way too loud.
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I've carried a couple of tampons and pads in my car for years, just because sometimes I can save the day for someone. I never thought about using them for earplugs though, that's a good one.
Gas jet lighter. I do not smoke. But when people ask for a lighter and I pull my lighter out, they always ask "How come YOU have a lighter?" Funny every time.
Donegan OptiVisor Headband Magnifier - https://doneganoptical.com/product/optivisor/
with optiloupe - https://doneganoptical.com/product/optiloupe/
and Quasar LED lighting attachment. https://www.esslinger.com/led-visor-lighting-system-attachment-for-optivisor-headband-magnifier/
I originally got it when I was doing a bit of electronics work. But every couple of months there'll be times when I really want a hands-free magnified view of something I'm working on, even if it's just for a household chore. There are plenty of cheap knock-off out there, but I believe this is the original. I was at the Intrepid Museum in NYC and there was a photo of a NASA engineer wearing one of these.
Always keep your surveilance camera damaging laser on you at all times.
Be careful with that, just a jittery movement or a specular reflection and you may also damage someone's retina with that.
Instance checks out
I can’t be the first person to say this, but a poop-knife.
No i still don't believe this is a real thing. I've personally never needed one and I've had some dire situations in the bathroom - all sorts of dire situation one can have in the bathroom.
You not needing one yourself doesn’t equal the average person’s experience. Probably less than 10% of Americans eat enough fiber daily.
It’s a real thing for some of us. Wish it wasn’t, but not all of us have it so easy.
Am I the only one who didn’t think that story was very funny? Sure haha poop and all but it’s achieved legendary status that I don’t get.
I think the popularity wasn't so much about the tool itself but about the original poster not realizing it was unusual. Like the cumbox.
Fire extinguisher.
Get a small one and put it in your boot or the back of your ute (seppo: truck).
If you're ever first to a car accident, or have one yourself, you'll be very glad you have it.
A handheld 2 way radio. The cell network is the first to go even before a disaster since the lines saturate with people calling out.
The longest ones also have (or at least had) a max of a few days of battery and many just 1-2 days. Found this out when Hurricane Ike rolled through Houston.
A handheld calculator and a slide rule. If the power goes out for a long time, I'll still be doing math while the rest of you chumps will be using your fingers to count to 10.
Nail clippers. Small but powerful penlights.
I have a dosimeter/geiger counter. So far, it's only been a neat toy for about an hour. I hope it never is more than that.
I have a roll of dental floss in my hike bag. It's small, super strong, and there's one pile of it in a roll. Could be used for replacement shoelace, laundry line, tying wood together for a shelter, etc.
I have no logical reason other than I like it but I have my keys on rings that are on a actual climbing grade carbiner and then on the keyring I have a thing from the internet that can sharpen knives and has a ferro tod and a whistle. then a can opener thats swag from some conference.
I keep a Windows 11 installer USB on my person almost at all times. I've had to perform an impromptu utilman.exe trick (consensually) multiple times. (Replacing the ease of access menu EXE with a command prompt somehow still allows you to get an administrator CMD window on the lock screen, even in 2026).
I have something similar but with a Ventoy USB with different Linux distros in case I need to do an emergency reinstall or need a live USB
I keep a bowling ball in my car. It doesn't make sense to have it at home.
LEGO brick separator.
I have a field transfusion kit as part of my first aid kit in my vehicle, as well as in my bike kit.
So far, it hasn't been useful at all, and hopefully never will be.

Not unusual, but surprising how many times it has come handy in group gatherings.
Paracord. I use it in the house as well as with my SCUBA diving gear. If you need to tie something it's tough stuff, fairly cheap, and can be doubled up to deal with heavier loads. With SCUBA gear you can use it to create tethers for just about anything and if you have one of the camera floats that comes with a cheap little keeper strap save yourself some heartache and replace it with paracord.
An assortment of screws, bolts, nuts, and washers. Always worth having around. Some little thing breaks or you can't find one you dropped maybe the new thing you are putting together was missing one. Bonus tip, buy them at a place that sells by the pound and not the individual item. Atwoods is a place in the US that still does this that I know of but I'm sure there are a few others. Estate sales will also often have a person who will have jars of random stuff for cheap.