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Mildly infuriating? "My dad does this to avoid cutting pepperoni" (media.piefed.social)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social to c/cooking@lemmy.world
31 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

(as seen at the evil empire, but I just had to liberate it)

So, uh... what's your pizza-disaster story, y'all? I'll go first.

Me, I used to deliver for Domino's, and it was tonnes more fun than I'd imagined. First order of business was getting myself this freakin' awesome powered-spotlight that plugged in to the cigarette lighter in my car, nominally so as to throw a spotlight on street addresses, at need. But hoh-my-god, that sucker was fun to play around with in general.

Also, like Ed Grimley, "I must say" that the tips were unusually good, to supplement the standard shit-wages of a delivery-boy. This was in 1990 btw, so wow... 36yrs ago, now. Tempus fugit, nonne?

Anyway, my most awkward encounter ever was the time I made a delivery, placed the pizza directly in to the man's hands, and... for whatever reason(s) he dropped it. Right in front of me. Right between us. Probably one of the earliest scammers I ever dealt with, but it was hella embarrassing and awkward, dammit. I sure as heck didn't know what to do or say...

How about you. Got anything..?

top 31 comments
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[–] Nosavingthrow@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Your dad is gerrymandering the pizza.

[–] JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social 3 points 1 month ago

Godammit.

[–] GutterRat42@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

I came to say this. Gerrymandering is getting out of control.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It'd be easier with a rectangular pizza.

[–] whimsy@lemmy.zip 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My god, this looks delicious. For some reason I've always found square and rectangle pizzas to be much more appealing. Don't really know why

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works -1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Yeah the shape of the pizza doesn't matter to me but if you cut a circular pizza with square segments I will cut you

[–] RobertoOberto@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

I'd like to use a cookie cutter to cut circular pieces out of a square pizza.

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I could see it if he were going for even pepperoni distribution, but here I'm seeing 3 slices with 5 pepperonis, 3 slices with 3 pepperonis, and 2 slices with 4 pepperonis.

32 pepperonis, he could have split it into 8 slices with 4 pepperonis each.

[–] JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh, but what would it look like from an essential Marvel / DC perspective?

:P

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

[–] Excrubulent@slrpnk.net 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You can tell it's not ai because none of the gauntlet is made of pepperoni and none of the pepperoni has gauntlet decorations, among many other details.

I appreciate a good ol' honest photoshopping.

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

I actually did use ChatGPT, but I did specify to only replace the gemstones with pepperoni. 😉

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmings.world 2 points 1 month ago

Your dad has a sharp knife, and knows how to wield it.

[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

[–] Bahnd@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Im going to start doing this, just to piss other people off. Thank you for the idea father of random internet person.

[–] JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social 1 points 1 month ago

I live to serve! :D

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 1 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Next time retire all pepperonis, cut like a normal pizza and then put the pepperoni's back.

[–] JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social 1 points 1 month ago

No wait..!!
I got a much-better idea! Just cut 36 different pizza-slices around each individual pepperoni, and then a few more around that barren wasteland.

NOW you can sell it as like 50 unique pizzas, right? :D

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 0 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

No next time take all the pepperoni off after he does this, cut them in half with little scissors, then put them back

edit five hours and no one has acknowledged my pun? my pun must go acknowledged.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm going to start cutting my pizza like this.

[–] JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Well, I for one believe that might fully live up to the Dark Lord's diabolical, maggot-ridden, ejaculation-expectoration. Well CHOSEN, sir. ❤️

:D

[–] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 month ago

your dad is correct tbh

[–] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Next time imply you're bringing friends and he'll need to cut it into 32 pieces.

I wanna see him make 32 mini-pizzas with one (1) pepperoni on each.

[–] howrar@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You made me go and count the pepperonis on that pizza.

[–] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You miscounted, there's actually 33

[–] howrar@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not falling for that. I refuse.

[–] owsei@programming.dev 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Aside from the top 2 slices which are a fucking tragedy, this honestly doesn't look too bad. Most slices have 3 to 4 pieces of pepperoni, so the area is kinda close and the shapes aren't horrible to hold.

[–] troglodyte_mignon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

I find the bottom left slice infuriating. It’s an affront to triangles. Why is there a circle where there should be a pointy thing.

The one on the right that looks like an out of shape rectangle is pretty anger-inducing as well.

[–] Watermark710@piefed.social 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Are you the same person who posted this exact pic to reddit in 2023?

https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/1375ixw/my_dad_does_this_to_avoid_cutting_pepperoni/

[–] isyasad@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

I think with the quotes in the title and the "(as seen at the evil empire, but I just had to liberate it)" they are trying to imply that they took it from Reddit.