this post was submitted on 20 May 2026
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Funny

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[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 83 points 1 day ago (2 children)

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball."

Man: "That's nice"

Boy: "Want to buy it?"

Man: "No, thanks."

Boy: "My Dad's outside."

Man: "OK, how much?"

Boy: "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."

Man: "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball glove."

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,

"How much?"

Boy: "$ 750"

Man: "Sold."

A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."

The Dad asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

Boy: "$1,000"

The Dad says, "That's terrible to over charge your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to confession."

They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that shit with me again, kid.”

[–] GimmeUrBelt@lemmy.today 3 points 6 hours ago

Been a while since I've heard a new joke. Much appreciated.

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago

Hah I enjoyed that

[–] HertzDentalBar@lemmy.blahaj.zone 34 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If the kid isn't old enough to understand value of objects maybe they ain't old enough to be taking a fucking switch to school.

[–] DanceMomsSavedMe@lemmy.zip 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They very likely snuck it to school

Touche, They are grounded for 6 months anyways so 🤷‍♀️

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 69 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Do parents not teach their kids the value of shit these days?

My parents made sure I knew the Gameboy I got was basically equivalent to the crown jewels and I'd probably be drawn and quartered if I ever lost it

[–] Jimmycrackcrack@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 day ago (2 children)

The trouble with kids is that there's an element of random chaos in the decision making that cannot be accounted for and it's likely the fallout from those decisions that ultimately helps them develop the palpable and visceral sense against making them as they get older. I'm sure literally trying very hard to teach them the value of things helps, they do have the capacity to listen and learn after all. But the way I see it there's always a non zero chance that some totally different and bizarre thinking process will override all of that at random moments.

[–] GimmeUrBelt@lemmy.today 2 points 6 hours ago

Murphy's law. Kids got that stuff in spades.

[–] other_cat@piefed.zip 3 points 9 hours ago

It's impulse control, I'm sure. I remember as a child myself seeing another kid trade a rareish Pokemon card for a couple honey buns.

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I try but for awhile we were petty well off and spent over a thousand for the kids on Christmas for a few years. Well they got spoiled and the things were not taken care of. So now that were broke they have to learn the hard way about the cost of things.

[–] fizzle@quokk.au 4 points 1 day ago

That sucks. This can't be easy.

[–] fizzle@quokk.au 7 points 1 day ago

There's loads of things that could be going on here that explain how, in kid logic, giving away an expensive valuable item could be the best course of action.

Most likely is that the kid has 2 as a result of gifts from family or whatever.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 1 points 1 day ago

No.

The revolution begins at the core of how people spend their money.

[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] chaogomu@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

They actually got something in return, so the deal was better than 90% of the bloated bloviator's

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 35 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Reminds me when my son came home with Xbox X. Said kid from school gave it to him. Went to kids house grandma had no clue he just gave away this expensive gift she got him. In the end though grandma said he can do what he wants and why we have an Xbox X.

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 29 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah pretty much. But some kids just dont appreciate gifts given to them. And as a parent I just wanted to make sure his guardian was aware. I figured she would want sell it to us or not allow him to just give away. She did appreciate me bringing it to her attention and told me in front of the kid that be last expensive gift she ever buy him.

[–] thenoirwolfess@fedinsfw.app 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I figure gifts are supposed to benefit the recipient more than the giver; if my recipient gave away my gift of a new console I clearly made a crap choice and would've been better off researching what they'd like more

[–] Sxan@piefed.zip -1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

A-fucking-men.

P.s. I low-key love þat you are using your nsfw account for non-porn stuff.

[–] GimmeUrBelt@lemmy.today 0 points 5 hours ago

Downvoted for thorn use.

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well he had another Xbox that mom bought him that was slightly newer then the X think it was the XS. Don't know what the difference is between them.

[–] fizzle@quokk.au 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I didn't even know that Xbox uses letters as their versioning system so you know more than me.

My kids (twins) are only two and I'm living in denial that I will one day need to contend with these devices.

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah it first Xbox, then 360, then Xbox One which I bought for kids. Then the X then think one more called XS but don't think they are much different except just another cash grab.

[–] atomicbocks@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Close:

Xbox

Xbox 360 ( later 360 S and then finally 360 E )

Xbox One

Xbox One S / Xbox One X (2 different consoles at the same time)

Xbox Series S / Xbox Series X (also two different consoles)

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah but what's the difference in those last 2 consoles?

[–] atomicbocks@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

If you mean the Series X and the Series S, the X has quite a bit more power and an optical drive that the S lacks.

If you mean the One X/S and the Series X/S, it’s roughly the difference between a PS4 Pro and a PS5.

[–] cerebralhawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 1 day ago (3 children)

My brother had a friend who was not taught the value of other people's things. He would steal stuff from us, and when we told our mother, she found out where he lived and confronted his mother. The guy's mother told my mother that her kids (my brother and I) deserved to be stolen from, we let the thief into the house and were too weak to stop him. IIRC we got our stuff back, but we were told not to have that guy over anymore.

Even odder still, my brother is still friends with this guy. He lives in an RV and dresses like a Count. Cape and all. I shit you not. Dude is weird. He went to shake my hand. He was wearing white bejeweled gloves. Like rhinestones or some shit. Yes, I checked my pockets after. Had my wife check hers, too.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Lol ngl, until the allegations come out, I like him.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 21 points 1 day ago

Dude that's crazy. Your wife's clothes has pockets?!?

[–] Lux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

this happened to my buddy eric

[–] GimmeUrBelt@lemmy.today 1 points 5 hours ago

My mate, Paul, went through the same thing.

[–] 7toed@midwest.social 2 points 1 day ago

Damn we all know an Eric apparently

[–] shirasho@feddit.online 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I remember selling a bag of skittles in elementary school for $10. Naturally I had to give the money back, and naturally I did not get my skittles back.