Your pizza party has 6.2 minutes remaining, continue merriment for the prescribed time.
this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2026
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also cuts into the "fun time" that zuckerborg insisted.
I used to work for a company that would do mandatory fun every Thursday at lunch. It was one of the least enjoyable things I've ever experienced at work.
'Mandatory fun' is one of the least fun things humans can ever experience.
What sort of things?... 👀
Usually Gartic Phone, but it was a very uptight company so playing that with my coworkers made it utterly impossible to do anything funny.
Man, in that case, you should have recorded the sessions and put them up on YouTube with laugh tracks. Then they'd be hilarious!
I read this in a strong German accent and it made me smile.
This reminds me when I was working for IBM ten years ago and in an attempt to be cool they have us a single beer, and then stamped our hand so we couldn't get another.
Once a company gets into these spirals it's incredibly hard to right the ship again.
To ensure proper pizza allocation, we will require Lazer engraving on our work unit (employee) necks here at META to ensure desirable fun ratios are achieved.
Even the fellas tarring the roof of Shawshank prison got two beers each.
That’s amazing, wow
Jesus
We are spending countless billions into AI bullshit and forcing everyone to train it to replace their own careers with no plan for them when that happens, most places haven't been even giving CoL raises or promotions, most forced everyone to start driving back into the office for no reason even though we all proved that remote work was far better in every metric, again wasting even more of their time and money. Everything is becoming 1984 dystopian, everything is being tracked and monitored and videoed and data collected on you all just to maximize how much they can exploit out of you. And we work our asses off for all that and take home just enough pay to hopefully not starve or go homeless. (And more than ever are sinking below that baseline)
And the C suit morons STILL can't figure out why millions of workers are at an all-time low morale?
Incredible. These guys could throw a rock at the ground and miss. They would starve in a grocery store. They couldn't find a tree in a forest. And other mocking jests.
Crazy thought. Let people WFH again. Pay them a living wage at MINIMUM. Reign in the AI bullshit and only use it where it makes sense, don't force it. Treat your employees as humans. Don't be evil. Tell the truth. Value their contributions and skill and knowledge and ethics. Stop punishing them and instead set them up for success and enable them and watch what happens.
That’ll fix it.
/s
Lifted from original thread.
I hate cantaloupe.
“These humans, they are attracted to rich nourishment aren’t they? These so called “snacks”, can we use them as a dopamine initiator?”
The worker units of the species are motivated by imaginary numbers to an extent. However, these imaginary numbers are increasingly traded for sustenance. Thus perhapswe can provide sustenance directly!
“The 30 minute pizza party will be deducted from your weekly budget of 60 minutes without AI monitoring”
Dude this isn't kindergarten. Talk about deaf ears!
"True, we're really in preschool; let's add more naps." - Their leadership, probably
...y'know, id take that
zuckberborg's android do not need primitive ears of a mammal.
Have they tried throwing in a Little Caesars pizza party?
Hot 'n Ready, bitches!
....Snack budgets? Where do they get these absolute asshole shitforbrains?
Maybe they should have a pizza party.
Don't you think that this would be a bit over the top?
Only if i's more than one slice per employee (drinks must be purchased by the employee).
...from the company store of course.
Business school
This is a Lemmy post for a digg post for a poly market post on Twitter?
No
It's a Lemmy post for a digg post for a retweet of a polymarket tweet on xitter
Ohhh, thanks for clarifying.
the circle jerk is real, find your place and I hope you have a strong grip
!nottheonion
This is so funny
The Rich.
Chatgpt, how can I create the grandest pizza morale boosting party without spending money?
They gonna ask meta ai
About that, I think I read that they have an unofficial policy like "thanks to ai coding agents, if a coding team needs more than a single pizza to be fed, it means it's too big and someone needs to be fired"
(Now, how to delete this meta ai stuff chat in my WhatsApp? It seems I can only delete on my side but they keep the rest for training)
Let them eat cake
- grabs side of glasses.
What in the Kevin rose and Alex Albrecht.