this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2026
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Programmer Humor

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[โ€“] snooggums@piefed.world 97 points 1 week ago (1 children)

All four answers work though.

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 62 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Indeed. My favorite is b as it genuinely surprised me ๐Ÿ˜

[โ€“] Hegar@fedia.io 61 points 1 week ago

I would guess that B is the "correct" answer because it shows you're old enough to know a sex joke when you read one.

[โ€“] Arctic_monkey@leminal.space 81 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I like: how many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. They are very efficient, but not very funny.

[โ€“] nomecks@lemmy.wtf 29 points 1 week ago

Many Hans make light work!

[โ€“] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago

Poor lighting is no laughing matter.

[โ€“] ThatGuy46475@lemmy.world 55 points 1 week ago (2 children)

100, 1 to hold the light bulb and 11 to de bug the house

[โ€“] sukhmel@programming.dev 35 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah, there are 10 types of people

[โ€“] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago

People who understand binary, people who don't understand binary, and people who realize the joke was in ternary all along.

[โ€“] JustJack23@slrpnk.net 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's some JS shit I am too backend dev to understand /s

[โ€“] wador@lemmy.zip 40 points 1 week ago

It makes me think about how many country artists it takes to change a light bulb....

Six. One to change the bulb while the other five sing about how good the old one was.

[โ€“] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 33 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I don't remember, that was a long time ago, but I think the answer must have been B., considering the rest of the game.

Yes, I played the game in 1987.

Yes, I'm old.

[โ€“] Bustedknuckles@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

My uncle had it on his computer. I redid that quiz a bunch of times because the older you seemed, the more of the first lady's pixels were visible! I remember there being at least 50 pixels ...

My favorite question was " what happened at the bay of pigs" the correct answer was "a big mistake"

[โ€“] ripcord@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

That was LSL3

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[โ€“] Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)

For the d) answer:
(On my work laptop)

[โ€“] bilouba@jlai.lu 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Where can I get this sticker?

[โ€“] krokodil2000@thelemmy.club 19 points 1 week ago

This is not a high priority ATM. Please open a ticket and we will get to it ASAP.

[โ€“] Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 week ago

Was from an order on LTT's store.
But this was from an older sticker release wave :/

Best case: You order your own sticker sheet of holographic foil stickers.

[โ€“] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

"If a programmer can change a lightbulb in 5 minutes, 5 programmers can change a ligthbulb in 1."

[โ€“] vrek@programming.dev 22 points 1 week ago (5 children)

So if a couple can have a baby in 9 months, 9 couples can have a baby in a month?

[โ€“] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

We will deliver one baby per month, yes.

[โ€“] vrek@programming.dev 11 points 1 week ago

Spoken like a true sales person

[โ€“] mcv@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Assuming no communication overhead, yes.

[โ€“] vrek@programming.dev 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No, you can have 9 babies in 9 months, but you won't have 1 baby in 1 month.

[โ€“] magikmw@piefed.social 4 points 1 week ago

You can if you staggered them in anticipation of requirements!

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[โ€“] AnnaFrankfurter@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

The real answer is management needs atleast 3-5 meetings to first discuss this with 10 developers 10 upstream developers 10 downstreams developers and business team for all. And after we spent 2-4 weeks of all this a lone developer who's been saying we just screw it in gets the approval to do exactly that

[โ€“] Flower@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

Plus several meetings with the customer to see if there is budget for an upgrade, discuss if they want if brighter, bigger or more efficient, and writing it down in specifications so nobody can say they needed it to be bigger the moment you walk in with the new bulb. Also maybe schedule a few demo lighting sessions to get everyone up to speed and a bit of training for the light switch operator to handle this new responsibility.

[โ€“] themaninblack@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Once it goes through CAB of course

[โ€“] jdr@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Xerxos@lemmy.ml 23 points 1 week ago

How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

a. None, it's a hardware problem.

b. None, programmers can't fit in light bulbs.

c. 100. One to hold the bulb and 99 to debug the house.

d. None so far, but they'll get to it Real Soon Now.

All answers are correct.

[โ€“] Hegar@fedia.io 11 points 1 week ago (4 children)

My favourite light bulb joke is:

How many Morriseys does it take to change a light bulb? None, because there is a light and it never goes out.

Every other light bulb joke i hear, the number is arbitrary - it could be 10/100/1000 with no loss to the joke. But "none" and for that reason is the only possible correct answer to that joke.

How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. They'll just wait for it to burn out and then follow it around for 40 years.

How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A Brazilian

[โ€“] horse@feddit.org 3 points 1 week ago

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two: one to hold the bulb and one to drink until the room spins.

How many guitar players does it take to change a lightbulb?

Also two: one to change the bulb and one to say "I can do that too".

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[โ€“] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

1, but it takes 12 hours because of the amount of documentation they need to do

[โ€“] dubyakay@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 week ago

Not in 1987.

[โ€“] BigBoyShuanzee@aussie.zone 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

How many IT security people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 50 to Palm the work off on the service desk and another 250 to block service desks access to be able to screw in the light bulb.

Another few hundred to make it seem like the original IT security were actually useful.. IT support get are still at the same amount of people.. They do the work and they get the blame.

Might be obvious, IT security at my company have no fucking idea what they're doing and just making random shit up to keep their jobs alive.

I now have to do IT support with one hand tied behind my back..

[โ€“] nibbler@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Do not worry. Alt-X bypasses the question.

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Which is unnecessary for this particular one, since it's one of the ones where all of the answers are considered correct ๐Ÿ˜

[โ€“] nibbler@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

They really tried hard to keep kids out of the game!!1! :D

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[โ€“] zerofk@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago

I remember having a lot of trouble with those questions - not so much because I was underage, but because I didnโ€™t grow up with US pop culture and sports.

[โ€“] AlteE@programming.dev 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Possible plot twist: there is no correct answer and to pass this age check you should skip this one.

It's actually the opposite (this one is only there for entertainment so all the answers are counted as correct), but good guess! ๐Ÿ˜

[โ€“] abstractastronaut@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I blame management for the existence of option d

Same. It's the exception rather than the rule when they DON'T set unrealistic deadlines while understaffing and underpaying.

[โ€“] zqwzzle@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 week ago

3, one product manager, one scrum master and one programmer.

[โ€“] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 week ago

e. All of the above

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