this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Abyssian@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

"And why was God a swan?"

[–] QueenHawlSera@piefed.social 47 points 1 day ago

Your underage wife

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 91 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (27 children)

Fun fact, the Nicine Creed exists because this question was a legitimate crisis of Christianity. The council of Nicaea determined that Jesus was not created by God but rather "begotten", meaning he was equivalent to God but not the same as God, and has existed for all eternity as part of God

[–] TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 39 points 1 day ago (1 children)

JK Rowling level of world building

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago

Is this why no one in the Bible is trans?

[–] SarahValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone 97 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Yeesh,what an illustration of the goofy bullshit people make up to avoid fixing what's actually wrong with their belief systems...

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 28 points 2 days ago (7 children)

Oh, sure. Mock Christianity. But no one bats an eye when Tolkien retcons half of The Hobbit and gives an excuse like "well the book is written by Bilbo and he lied at first".

[–] balsoft@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Well, IIRC The Hobbit was initially just a collection of bedtime fairy tales he made up for his children, of course it had inconsistencies.

Actually, thinking about it, that seems like a plausible source of the Old Testament as well...

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

Religion started because kids were asking their dad questions. “Daddy why is the sky blue?, Why does the sun move across the sky?, Why why why daddy” “Uh uh some sort of god does that, yeah a god”

And then those kids grew up and still believe that story et voila you got religion.

"Damn the boy..."

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don't remember anyone telling me that bilbo was the son of God, so I think we can hold different yardsticks here.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well of course not. Samwise was the incarnation of all that is good, loyal, and holy. Bilbo was just a prophet.

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

Hold on there. Wasn't ‘LotR’ supposedly finished by Sam after Frodo dipped?

[–] Kangae_Hishiryo@scribe.disroot.org 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

The difference is that, afaik, Christianity has people that believes that Bible is NOT fiction, while nobody thinks that The Hobbit is a historical book.

[–] 0x0@lemmy.zip 2 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Considering these people exist, i wouldn't be so sure...

Well... I step back what I said lmao

[–] Maroon@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

while nobody thinks that The Hobbit is a historical book.

...yet

[–] Kangae_Hishiryo@scribe.disroot.org 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Well, I give you that point...

BUT I HAVE A BETTER ONE:

[–] Carl@anarchist.nexus 43 points 2 days ago

I mean, The Hobbit was primarily written to be a children’s bedtime story. The fact that adults latched onto it was sort of an accident. Tolkien was primarily a linguist, not a writer. He developed several fake languages, and wanted an excuse to use them. So he did a ton of world building, just to have a reason to write song lyrics in elvish and dwarven.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

He also does say it's fiction, no?

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Most stories are fiction until some fool believes it hard enough.

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[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Allow me to introduce to you.....George Lucas.

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[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 48 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Joseph. The most in-denial man in history.

[–] some_designer_dude@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

* The OMG cuck

[–] ChairmanMeow@programming.dev 6 points 1 day ago

Hey man don't kinkshame

[–] wittymyusername@lemmy.zip 41 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Not just the ass, but the oxen and sheep, too!

[–] Xeno@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago

“I baked you a pie, Mary”

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 25 points 2 days ago

Once you've fucked the Holy Ghost you know where the magic happens. Definitely not with the village carpenter.

[–] Cum_Rag@fedinsfw.app 12 points 1 day ago

Sorry Joseph I have to cuck you with your virgin wife. I swear this isn't some fantasy of mine

[–] Danarchy@lemmy.nz 15 points 2 days ago (7 children)

When you cuckslurp after god you get certain powers and also sainthood

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