(American) English: Inflammable vs flammable vs non-flammable.
Inflammable and flammable don't strictly mean the same thing.
Flammable can be set alight
Inflammable can set itself alight.
I've known the difference ever since I decided to look it up one day, but I've always felt the 'in-' prefix was the wrong choice (especially when labeling potentially dangerous substances). "In-" is more often used to qualify a word as "not".
"Autoflammable" would have been my choice.
Remember: invaluable is a synonym of priceless, but not of worthless.
Ambiguously used words like "biweekly". Does it mean twice per week? Every other week? Business meeting calendar scheduling terminology is especially bad with this.
Odd phrases like you can chop the tree down. Then but then you proceed to chop that same tree up.
How numbers are pronounced.
In German the number 185 is pronounced as "hundred-five-and-eighty" (hundertfünfundachtzig), the digits are not spoken in order of their magnitude.
Not terrible, not great.
be the change you want to see, all young germans should start saying numbers sensibly and call anyone who does it the old way a boomer
Same thing for Dutch. For example, when we see 74 we pronounce it as four and seventy (vierenzeventig) and it makes no sense.
I guess it’s a Germanic language thing.
It's not so much a feature of English as it is a recurring bug in the way people use the language...
If you write "of" instead of "have" or "'ve" you need to be taken out back and beaten with a dictionary, preferably until you can apologize to your ancestors in person for the effort they wasted in passing down the English language to you.
Incidentally, when did people start saying "on accident"? It's by accident! Has been for ages! Why this? Why now? I hate it.
With that out of the way... English isn't a language, it's five dialects in a trenchcoat mugging other languages in a dark alley for their loose grammar.
Edit: With regards to OP, "a cookbook" and "to cook the books" are similar phrases in English, too, but have, eh, wildly different meanings. XD
"of" in place of "have" certainly had to come from people mishearing/misunderstanding "ve." There's no other explanation.
The accident one is funny. I had to really think about when I'd use "on", and it's when I say something like: "he did it on accident." Which is wrong when I think about it, but I know I've said this countless times. I can only guess it grew from "an accident" like "it was an accident."
Even though "on"and "by" are the same length, "by" sounds like it takes too much effort to say. How weird.
The past tense of lead is led, which is pronounced like lead but is not pronounced like lead.
Don't get me started on read, read, and red...
That second example is..... Wow.
These are all real examples. Here's a picture of someone posting that they want to give away a princess desk 
Last sentence, "godt brukt", means "well used"
Princess fucked at and angle. Well Used.
I mean.... It still fits?
Depending on exactly how well used, I suspect quite a lot fits.
In French they fucking have the same word for "no more" and "more", and only differs in pronounciation of the last letter:
"J'ai plus de pommes" pronounced as "j'ai plu de pommes" means "I have no more apples" (nobody says the "ne" particle)
"J'ai plus de pommes (que toi)" pronounced as "j'ai plus de pommes (que toi)" means "I have more apples (than you)"
Which is even worse because usually last letter is not pronounced, so that makes it an exception to the rule
Simply emphasise the last letter more.
But the last letter is silent.
Yep.
Not my native language, but the one I speak the most is (American) English.
So many homophones-words that sound the same but are different in meaning or spelling such as knight/night, altar/alter, ail/ale, isle/aisle/I’ll.
Also homographs-words with same spelling but different meaning and/or pronunciation like minute, bass, capital, wind, moped.
So confusing for people trying to learn English and also for people that actually speak it
I can't speak for all native English speakers, but in my experience we're very accepting of imperfect grammar from non-native speakers because we know how crazy this language is.
The four cases. Nominative, Genitive, Dative, and Akkusative with their accompanying articles. It makes learning German as a second language a nightmare and even native speakers struggle with it a lot.
What I hate about English is what I love about English. The spelling.
I hate that it's an impossible system to teach in any logical way. No child can sound out common words like "once".
But I love that the ridiculous spelling of our words gives you a look into the history of the language. That it's not just transliterations of the sounds, but letters in a pattern that holds more information than that.
Hebrew. I hate how everything is gendered. You cant communicate with a person without assuming his/her gender. You cant ask "how are you?" or "what is your name?" without using the other person's gender. Its worse than spanish/italian. We have genders for verbs, our "you" is gendered, heck, NUMBERS have genders (two girls, two boys - you use a different word for two).
Have you ever spoken to a person and werent sure about their gender? In hebrew you would be screwed.
"Do you mind ..." has been mis-answered for so long that yes means no. It's hard to explain because written down, yes/no have different meanings, but when speaking to someone it depends on tone, context, and body language.
"Do you mind if I take that seat"
"No" "Yeah" depending on tone can both mean, "I'm fine with you taking that seat". Most people will add on to make the intention clearer like, "Yeah, go ahead" but not always. Absolutely crazy.
Norwegian is easier. If you see a vacant seat, you don't use it because sitting next to some one is what psychopaths do. You're not a psychopath, are you?
My language is diglossic - it has a written form and a spoken form that are very different to each other. It's quite difficult to understand the written form if you've only grown up speaking and listening to the language, as the written form is essentially the language as spoken in the 1600s.
To compare it to English, it would be like saying "Where are you?" to someone over the phone, but then having to send them "Wherefore art thou?" as a text.
"wherefore" means "why" not "where".
She wasn't asking him "where are you?" but rather "why did it have to be you?"
The thing I hate about English is that it pretends to have formal rules for sentence structure and grammar, and they are all basically optional to some degree, but plenty of English speakers get really grumpy when people break them. English isn't like French where there is a literal governing body who is in charge of setting the formal rules for the language - English is a cluster fuck of borrowed words and structures mashed together in a barely coherent mess, stop acting like "should'a" is a violation of section 16.4 subsection 4
German: I hate that we use comma as a decimal separator. Makes working with international documents a hassle, my numpad on pc makes a comma so I cannot even type a date.....we like to complain about us imperial units as much as anyone but our comma is almost as stupid!
The funny thing is, that most of the world uses commas as decimal separator and comma is the preferred decimal separator by ISO. But instead, in English speaking countries, the period is used as the decimal separator. Actually it comes from the original decimal separator, that was used in the British Empire called ⟨·⟩. When they were changing units to metric, ISO didn't recognize interpunct as a decimal separator, because it was too similar to the multiplication sign used in other countries. So after some debate in the UK, they've adopted the period, because the US was already using it. From the British Empire, South Africa instead adopted the comma.
"-sts" and "sps" et al
e.g. ghosts, frosts, wasps, clasps, flasks, basks.
Just a stupid sound.
We are English speaking and as someone raising a kid it's really difficult at their age to teach and explain all the words that are spelled the same but can sound different. She loves to learn so I try my best. I wrote a sentence down that she likes to show people and read to them just to start but always asks why it is the way it is.
"My daughter liked when I read her a book the other day so I make it a habit to read 1 book a day with her"
That's the sentence she's practicing. There is a lot more to get through though.
Inconsistent sounds for the same spelling, as in: tough, cough, through, thorough, bough, dough.
All those stupid English place names: Cholmondeley, Leicester, Gloucestershire, Worcestershire.
German here, we have the exact same issue. It's driving me crazy.
Any number higher than twelve is said the wrong way around, for example instead of ninety-two we say two-and-ninety.
In Dutch, the proper way to say it's e.g., 8h30 is "half nine".
Makes it extra confusing when they say the same in (British) English for 9h30. So short for half past nine.
You wouldn't pronounce €8.50 as "half nine Euro".
Even worse: the correct way of saying 8h40 is "10 past half nine".
I speak Spanish and being 100% honest about it i love it, the only shitty thing is the fact that the dialects vary a lot (also i kinda hate the tilde).
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