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submitted 1 year ago by jeffw@lemmy.world to c/politics@lemmy.world

If the average American were asked what they imagine the priorities of the feminist movement are these days, most people would likely cite concerns like "fighting abortion bans" or "getting justice for sexual violence victims" or boring mainstays like "equal pay for equal work." But if you listen in to the world of right-wing social media influencers, they have a different answer. To them, feminists are single-mindedly obsessed with destroying women who identify as "tradwives."

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[-] BrianTheeBiscuiteer@lemmy.world 159 points 1 year ago

Are they also selling the fantasy you can make ends meet on a single person's income?

[-] Twentytwodividedby7@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago

Right, that's the most idiotic part. My wife has a career that I also make sacrifices for and vice versa. Even with modest career growth, she will contribute about $4M in earnings over 30 years.

Setting earnings aside, we have a child, and she is an equal partner. It would be insulting and foolish to ask her to stop working. We want our son to grow up knowing that women are just as capable as men.

[-] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

It’s the same fantasy. You work on seven years I’ll work on odd ones

[-] NounsAndWords@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

They're selling the fantasy to people still living with their parents.

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[-] Pratai@lemmy.ca 137 points 1 year ago

All right wing fantasies are rotting young men’s minds.

[-] MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world 86 points 1 year ago

Remember boys and men: If you can’t get a girlfriend, much less a woman of your dreams, just become radicalized by a fringe extremist group on the internet.

[-] Diplomjodler@feddit.de 28 points 1 year ago

Worked great for the Taliban, hasn't it?

[-] jonne@infosec.pub 24 points 1 year ago

Exactly, if you can force all women to be subservient, they'll have to date you.

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[-] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 76 points 1 year ago

I've heard the term "tradwife" before, and it always seems to equal "Someone who will be a new mom, but does what she's told".

Based on direct personal experience I recommend a witch wife. Intelligent, capable, not submissive (unless she wants to be) and definitely not helpless.

[-] Toribor@corndog.social 32 points 1 year ago

Young disillusioned men who don't think they are getting the respect they deserve fantasize about a submissive wife and family that they can rule over as a Patriarch. They think that this is more natural or normal than marriage as a partnership of equals.

[-] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 17 points 1 year ago

It's fucking gross

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[-] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 69 points 1 year ago

Imagine not knowing how to cook or do anything for yourself so you need a captive woman to do it all for you and not resent you at all.

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 42 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

My conservative friend is literally this person.

His mother was his "slave" and now he found an "asian slave." He doesn't cook or clean or anything really. He's even told me to look for foreign women because "white women" don't want to do things for you like others will.

She does all the work at home and he makes money. He's living the 1950s conservative dream...

[-] shalafi@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Married my Filipina last Friday! She's the perfectly coifed and feminine "tradwife" this article is talking about, but Jesus that word makes me almost physically ill. These young men are looking for slaves, not partners. Had a gf like that once, bored me to death.

I have to note, there's something to be said about a traditional division of labor in the household. We both cook and clean, but it's 90% her doing. I do all the "manly" stuff she's clueless about. It works because no one is bitching about a thing not being done. Without any real discussion, we both know who's responsible for what and we take care of one another's needs. There are almost zero arguments, and when there are, they aren't angry.

LOL, it was kinda hard to adjust to! "Baby, I can feed myself, been doing it for decades. I can also run a washing machine." She's never had a man that didn't treat her like a maid. I've turned her around from being so submissive and now she is more open with me, less fear of offence.

tl;dr: I just married the finest women I've ever known, and she's what the article describes. But she's my partner, not my slave. If anyone's a slave, it's mutual. :)

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[-] keefshape@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 year ago

I dislike your friend so much, just from your description of them, that I caught myself wanting to down vote your post.

Sorry friend lemming, thanks for the hard share.

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[-] guacupado@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

I mean, look how many chicks can't make any money and they all think they're 10/10s looking for dudes to pay for everything. There's a real weird dynamic going on with this generation. Both sexes aren't even successful at their own default stereotype but want their partners to be the perfect stereotype.

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[-] slurpeesoforion@startrek.website 66 points 1 year ago

No one:

Conservatives: WEMEN BAD

[-] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 62 points 1 year ago

I like that there’s even an accidental confession in the spelling.

[-] banneryear1868@lemmy.world 58 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Naïve man children who need validation because being with someone their equal is scary, and the "tradwife" insofar as they exist, wants to be completely dependent on this manchild. Sounds like a great idea I'm sure it works out well all the time. The idea of being with a woman like this hell to me, and any of the associated sexual fantasies involved are hotter when power is willingly relinquished, from either person, not in some weird coercive context.

[-] AnalogyAddict@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

being with someone their ~~equal~~ superior

This is their real fear. And that if women are given a chance to live their life in freedom, the men might actually have to offer something on the relationship table that they might not be able to manage.

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[-] Vant@lemm.ee 54 points 1 year ago

These are the fantasies of rich grifter assholes like Steven Crowder. They still pretend it's the 50's when most households could function on just one salary. The reality is that 95% of American households can't survive on a single income. This is not the reality for most couples. These ideas are just as unpopular as abortion bans. They live in this weird bubble where they think women want to return to servitude and have prove they "deserve" a divorce. It's a fantasy. It's not going to happen, boys.

[-] prole@sh.itjust.works 44 points 1 year ago

The reality of feminism, though, is that if a woman truly desired to be that kind of wife, they'd 100% have that choice. That is kind of the entire point of feminism. If that's the woman they want to be, then more power to them.

But they also want to be sure women aren't being coerced, blackmailed, etc., into that subservient position. Because that's the most important part. It must be her decision.

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[-] tankplanker@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago

Its partly a reaction against the financial freedoms women have started to enjoy since they started getting closer to male salaries and a career became a more socially acceptable option for women. In the past if you were a woman you had to marry to get your own place, it was also deeply socially unacceptable for women to remain unmarried into their twenties and thirties, so far more women had to marry men who never really the right choice for them, witness the high divorce rates for the tail end of this group as divorce became easier and more socially acceptable. I would also add its also more socially acceptable for people to be out and in relationships now, rather than marrying a beard or playing full on pretend. This further cuts the pool who needed to marry men rather than wanted to marry men.

Now women can remain single or in more flexible arrangements and a large group of men are now struggling to adapt. Large elements of this group have been targeted by the likes of Crowder for rationalisation and end up on the incel pathway. A trad wife is a fantasy that makes everything easy for this group of men, its going to be attractive to them.

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[-] elbarto777@lemmy.world 48 points 1 year ago

Everyone here assuming all of us know what a tradwife is....

Anyway, from the article:

" "Tradwife" is internet slang for "traditional wife." It's largely a social media trend of conventionally attractive white women putting out TikToks and videos gushing about the joys of submissive marriage and "modesty," though notably this "modest" clothing often leaves little to the imagination. "

[-] trash80@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 1 year ago

"Tradwife" is internet slang for "traditional wife."

Thanks for clearing that up.

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[-] schema@lemmy.world 46 points 1 year ago

Fleecing these nutjobs by pandering to their fantasies is so fucking easy.

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[-] FarFarAway@startrek.website 37 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

In my doomer brain...

It's just a preview of what's to come if the far right takes over, for every woman that is unfortunate to come across a man that is all in.

They'll reverse no fault marriage, and then when you marry the guy (either because the guy pulls a bait and switch, or you don't really understand what your agreeing too until after the fact) you either comply or get beat into submission, with no way out, while you pop out babies

This is a handbook, not a fad.

I'm sure I'm wrong and it's a bunch of women that don't want to work...but if it's not, it could turn into some scary shit.

[-] NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip 24 points 1 year ago

Well. The Handmaid's Tale is the handbook since they literally want Gilead and have been openly working towards it

[-] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 36 points 1 year ago

This is like ragebait to the third power.

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[-] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 30 points 1 year ago

I'm curious how all these alt-right (e.g., white supremacist/christian nationalists) think that they're going to be able to afford a family--since the very concept of a tradwife is rooted in having a large family--when their wife is going to be entirely a stay-at-home wife? What kind of career do they think that they're going to have? Are they in medical school, or prepping for the bar exam? Did they just finish their MBA?

[-] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 27 points 1 year ago

The funny thing is that the GOP were the ones who destroyed the middle class. In 1968, one job supporting a family of four with a stay at home mom was the norm. Nixon's Vietnam War inflation [he paid for the war with paper money to avoid raising taxes] combined with the Oil Boycott made more and more families dependent on a second job to keep going. After three terms or Reaganomics, the two income family was the norm. Meanwhile, $1 million in 1968 was a vast fortune, and by 1993 it was what a rich guy paid for a party.

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[-] toasteecup@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago

I've met people who live that life as a kind of kink. It's honestly amazing that people can somehow afford it.

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[-] Borkingheck@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago

I'd love a trad wife or frankly to be a trans trad wife? Basically I'd love myself or my wife to be able to not have to work and actually be able to spend time cooking meals and doing household chores, so we actually have more time with each other at the weekends.

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[-] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

Social media is really no different than traditional media: you play a character that appeals to your specific audience to sell something, in this case, the tradwife lifestyle, because that's what their audience wants to see, a kind of fantastical parallel universe like Barbieland, a fantastical parody of the media's depiction of 1950s Americana to make money. Don't get too angry at that, because fictional persona are just that, fictions, and the second the camera stopped rolling these characters cease to exist, because these characters cannot step into the real world.

In reality, how many women would actually put on cute pink sweaters and nice stainless farm dress and a full face of makeup to cook and clean? Trust me, nobody looks this good when they are doing housework.

I understand why these kind of video became popular, because they are ultimately is a reactionary movement in response to some of the more extreme and vitriolic voices within the feminists movement, but again, a broken system that is inherently unfair is still broken even if the sides are switched, and it's still not the equality and fairness we should all be striving toward.

[-] masquenox@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

There's nothing I find more pathetic than a man that cannot get through the day without an obedient slave to wipe his arrse for him.

It's the epitome of fragility.

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this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
411 points (92.4% liked)

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