this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2023
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politics

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[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 57 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Stop, Consumer! You have comitted wrongthink! The Small Government ^TM^ is coming to protect your children from the woke contraband. Please stay calm. Your child has been exposed to empathy and understanding. We are taking every possible legal measure to ensure your child stays neatly within the Christian approved boxes designed 6,000 years ago when our Earth was created. This law was brought to you by the Kock Brothers and other conservative Super PACs.

[–] BrianTheeBiscuiteer@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Tell police there's a gunman in the classroom and they can't sit on their asses fast enough.

Maybe we should arm books with guns.

[–] reddig33@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The accompanying photo, while inaccurate, is hilarious.

[–] finthechat@kbin.social 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No it's true. They sent a SWAT team in, busted through the door and threw flashbangs and smoke grenades.

Source: my dad is the CEO of Police

[–] AdamEatsAss@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

12:05 we arrived on the screen. Subject: 9 year old white female, 4ft 3in, brown hair, pink dress. 12:10 we identified the lgbtq+ book the subject was reading based on the rainbow dusk jacket. 12:15 deployed flash-bang and smoke grenade. 12:16 assault team b breached the rear of the building and assault team a entered front of classroom 12:27 subject offered little resistance and was taken into custody. Medal of valor was awarded to all operation members for their bravery.

[–] Land_Strider@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Sounds like a SCP report... hmm, maybe this is how those conservatives see open-minded books.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Not hilarious, kind of terrifying. It seems like something that could actually happen. Especially if Trump is elected

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 32 points 1 year ago

Pearl-clutching MAGA Moms and police abusing their power. Name a more iconic duo.

[–] cmoney@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Honestly what do these people think happens to someone who reads a book? Reading books seems like the least threatening way to get information, I mean you can stop reading the book at any time you feel like.

[–] lolcatnip@reddthat.com 23 points 1 year ago

They're afraid kids will pick up the idea that some people being LGBTQ is just a normal part of life.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

They get ideas.

Which is why these idiots only want people reading their book.

[–] Schadrach 1 points 1 year ago

Which is why these idiots only want people reading their book.

Any time they actually say something like that, I start quoting from Exodus ("Slay every man his brother, and every man his neighbor and every man his companion") or Ezekiel ("There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses") or Psalm 137 ("Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones") or the Song of Solomon (just like, most of it - it's basically a lengthy pornographic poem in the middle of the Bible).

From the people who love to say "it's just words, words can't hurt you" here comes "books and words are super dangerous and needs to be banned!"

[–] Schadrach 1 points 1 year ago

Butbutbut, it's an "obscene" LGBTQ+ book! It even has a blowjob in it just over halfway through. Admittedly one where the receiver is wearing a strap on, and they decide it's not for them in the next panel, but those two panels are the ones every right winger angry about that particular comic tends to point to as why it's not appropriate for middle school kids.

Because they'd have to you know actually **read **it to have any further opinion on it, and they'd be hard pressed to find something objectionable about it that doesn't make them look like an idiot or bigot for objecting.

[–] dhorse@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Wrong department was called. They should have called in the firefighters.

[–] ninja@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago
[–] trackcharlie@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 1 year ago

Should've called in the Navy. Seamen know what's up.

[–] PugJesus@kbin.social 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I mean, I'm just saying... if I was a kid again, with kid motivations... I'd be making constant anonymous complaints about 'obscene' LGBT books to get out of a few minutes of classwork.

[–] Chakravanti@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

Would you feel guilty when the first time you do this they shot four of your friends due to "resistance and possible weapons" and two of them are now dead?

[–] trackcharlie@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 1 year ago

Great use of taxpayer money. Nothing like taking officers off of real problems like human trafficking to go check out if a book mentions "the gays".

Fucking worthless