847

Bonjour, je m'appelle Jesus (lemmy.world)

submitted 7 months ago by FlyingSquid@lemmy.world to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

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[-] thecrotch@sh.itjust.works 45 points 7 months ago

Can Jesus really shoot rays of emotion out of his belly like a common care bear?

[-] Jerb322@lemmy.world 18 points 7 months ago

From thier harts, man, come on😁

[-] thefartographer@lemm.ee 2 points 7 months ago

Nothing hurts more than the "Jesus cares" stare.

[-] HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Care Bears are the truly biblically accurate angels confirmed

[-] thefluffiest@feddit.nl 42 points 7 months ago

That’s the Dutch 🇳🇱 flag, not the French 🇫🇷 one

[-] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 37 points 7 months ago

From Jesuis perspective, it's le French.

[-] isthingoneventhis@lemmy.world 10 points 7 months ago

I mean.... it's kinda both when you look at it 👀

[-] TheJims@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

Ohhh now it makes perfect sense

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[-] effward@lemmy.world 34 points 7 months ago

Needs more baguette!

Thanks DALL-E

[-] RGB3x3@lemmy.world 15 points 7 months ago

More baguette you say?

[-] HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works 5 points 7 months ago

Well that's fucking glorious.

[-] RGB3x3@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

Have another, Avengers: Baguette

[-] RGB3x3@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I do have too much fun with this

[-] tias@discuss.tchncs.de 19 points 7 months ago

Also he steals her child

[-] LaserTurboShark69@sh.itjust.works 18 points 7 months ago

Damn the Bible really is brutal

[-] platypus_plumba@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

"Mercy! MERCY, please! Ahhhhh!

Mercy, s'il vous plaît... Mer... Merci. Merci beaucoup! hon hon hon hon!"

Luke 2:1-20

[-] chemicalwonka@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

could be worse like making her american

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 6 points 7 months ago

Only the fallen one can work such evils.

[-] superbirra@lemmy.world 13 points 7 months ago

JE SUIS JESUS

[-] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

Je sus

[-] superbirra@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago

american canadian

[-] Valmond@lemmy.mindoki.com 3 points 7 months ago

Je suce ma bite.

[-] superbirra@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago

canadian american

[-] DieguiTux8623@feddit.it 13 points 7 months ago

I received a strong catholic education, the red and blue are symbols for the blood and water that came out from Jesus side when he was pierced by a Roman soldier, John 19:34

Instead, one of the soldiers pierced Jesus’ side with a spear, bringing a sudden flow of blood and water.

[-] Senshi@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago

Wait, why was Jesus full of water? I thought humans are usually filled with blood.

[-] flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 months ago

Firemen? That's probably related...

[-] Augustiner@lemmy.world 12 points 7 months ago

I banish thy bad breath with the power of Colgate

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[-] ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 7 months ago

Depends on your perspective. To me it looks like he's absorbing her soul. Time to feed I guess? Jesus, Harvester of Souls, sounds metal af

[-] OpenStars@kbin.social 5 points 7 months ago

"Midnight Mass" on Netflix, I'm just saying...

[-] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago

He's sucking the French outta them

[-] ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 7 months ago

He can suck the French outta me anytime. I do love long haired foreign twinks

[-] RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world 10 points 7 months ago

TASTE THE RAINBOW, MOTHERFUCKER

[-] emergencyfood@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 months ago

Jesus turning the girls gay.

[-] HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml 6 points 7 months ago

He's giving her a sign to just surrender already.

[-] cley_faye@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

When you turn French you just stop caring about sins.

[-] manucode@infosec.pub 5 points 7 months ago

Looks more Dutch than French to me.

[-] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

Je suis un ananas.

[-] Elderos@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 months ago

NoOn, ceux naille pas pawssible.

[-] niktemadur@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

Ooh La La!

[-] GreenPlasticSushiGrass@kbin.social 3 points 7 months ago

It's super effective!

[-] Valmond@lemmy.mindoki.com 3 points 7 months ago

France it the Goat. Have you had boeuf bourguignon with chefs lemon tear-gas from your striking (actually the coolest thing)?

[-] BoastfulDaedra@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

...le whut?

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[-] kariboka@bolha.forum 3 points 7 months ago

Jesus is holding baby jesus

[-] berkeleyblue@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

Ooooohhhh…. That‘s a bit harsh. What could she have done to deserve this

[-] Everythingispenguins@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago

Being not French maybe?

[-] Pregnenolone@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago

Is the baby France?

[-] MasterNerd@lemm.ee 2 points 7 months ago

I mean why do you think she's crying?

[-] ThorAlex@infosec.pub 2 points 7 months ago

I get a strong sense there is a secret tunnel full of antiques behind that wall...?

[-] harmsy@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago

Seeeeecret tuuuunneeellll! Seeeeecret tunnneeeeeellllll!

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this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023

847 points (97.5% liked)

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