Wutchilli

Honestly i dont even know if i can put the things i feel at the moments in written words but i need to get them of my chest.

I hate being autistic at the moment.

I managed to build a friendgroup in the last two years, we hang out at the local hackspace, did sport together talked about emotions, cuddle etc.

I felt realy safe so I opend up, didnt mask all the time, told them how i feel when many humans are around, how i can crash when my social battery runs to low, how i make decisions, which emotions i have and which i dont, how i sometimes still struggle with being a human...

An with that parts of the group started to change, acted different around me, stoped being cuddly with me, told me that i should not come to partys because i might crash and they then dont want to care about me (they never had to before), and it just feels like i am no longer 100% welcome among some of them.

And i just hate it, i hate me, i want to undo telling them. But i also want to belong, feel safe, not needing to mask all the time and being accepted like i am.

Ist doch ganz normal, eins hat doch normalerweise kein Gefühl oder Emotion für Geschlecht, oder ...oder?

Es wird auch dieses Jahr wieder auf dem Chaos Communication Congress die Möglichkeit geben als Auszubildende ins Chaos zu schnuppern. Bedingungen gibt es keine außer dass ihr eine Ausbildung (egal welche) machen müsst.

Mehr Infos: https://events.ccc.de/congress/2024/infos/azubi-tag.html

Flush!

Is there anything to say?