this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2026
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It's a trick. The jaguars killed Sebastián and used his phone to lure in more prey.
(Edit: As someone who's contacted experts for research to improve Wikipedia, they've all seemed really happy that someone was interested enough in their subject to ask. If you have a question you've tried and failed to find an answer for, the worst they can ever do is say "no" or not reply. Try it sometime!)
no
Shoot... now what?
Jaguars are the leading cause of male-pattern baldness.
I thought that was the opposite, you get the baldness first, then you buy a Jaaaaaaaag
Jaguars prefer bubblegum flavored toothpaste.
Big Jaguar has cornered the bubblegum toothpaste market, increasing male pattern baldness. OPEN YOUR EYES SHEEPLE
How long do I get to pet the Jaguar before it kills me?
Is it sleeping? Or awake?
Can you, see it? The Jaguar?
(Can you tell me what it means)
Explain these visions and metaphors
(Expressions keep questioning me)
Yep, I've also gotten responses pretty reliably from professional artists, including those I'd assumed would be far too busy to answer (including the directors and writers of famous tv shows).