I think there are signs we’ve been conditioned to overlook as a society though. Parent seems frazzled and exhausted? Well that’s just part of parenting. And yes, it’s hard to know if it’s “regular” tiredness or something more. But if a friend has a cough and it’s not going away, we’d tell them they should see a doctor.

There is some kind of “timeframe” for physical symptoms where most of us would tell the other person to get it checked out. But we as a society haven’t learned that same kind of timeframe for mental health stuff. Hopefully now that we’re becoming more aware of all the ways things like ADHD and autism can show up, we’ll start noticing when those around us are struggling. Even better, maybe we should all get at least annual mental health checks like we do for our bodies, teeth and eyes.

I agree with the sentiment - co-workers should not be knowledgeable of one's health requirements.

The problem is that there is no option to break from the race. Even if we are wheezy, we must run yet.

For real, also an appeal to victim status coming from a successful doctor doesn't hit quite the same.

And often only then because you breaking is inconvenient to them.

Right? People can post any monologue they want on social media. That was her monologue, imagining that anybody around her cared or even thought about what was going on deep inside the recesses of her convoluted psychoneuropathy.

And then there's people like me who can burn out without over achieving. Which makes op a role model.

Well, people need to stop and actually think for 5 minutes. Is it really ok to have a person work 12-16 hours every day and that actually be healthy? How would I or so and so be if we worked the same amount of hours or put in the same amount of work? Does this person ever take vacations? Days off? Do they look like they are getting enough sleep or have made comments that they don't?

These were all common themes in every person I have worked with who got burnt out, but never complained or said much. It took me over a decade to learn how to say no. That I had had enough. That I deserved time off. A lunch break. That sleep was more important than being called multiple times a night, every night.

One of the few good things my last boss did, despite all of faults, was force one of his employees to stop traveling for work for a while. The guy was literally flying his kids (both under 4) to his parents place, flying to job sites, and then having everybody shipped back home at the end of each trip.

Of course, I was one of the ones who had to pick up the slack, be guilt tripped by the other guys' situation as a single dad, and burn out instead. Especially when they knew I was raised by a single dad too. No beef with the other guy though. We both quit and ended up at the same place. My boss did the right thing, but the wrong thing for the rest of us.

The point is, we as people, and especially people in supervisory roles or in heavy partnerships, need to be a little less self absorbed and stop to think about the person's life logically. When dealing with power inequality, you absolutely have to understand that there is a pressure to perform and not say anything. If you happen to be a workaholic, you can't force the same on everyone else either.

I absolutely hate it when people go on about how they worked all night and that they should be rewarded for it or that everything else should too. I threw the HR lady for a loop when she went on how she had to work all weekend, last night, the upcoming weekend, etc. I questioned why. Why didn't you just say no, I need more time? That I need help? That I have my own life and that my weekends are mine? I broke her damn brain. She couldn't really come up with a good reason and was completely confused.

While some people hide it really well, I have still found that in most cases, there are plenty of signs that somebody is headed for burnout. You just have to look for them.

It's hard to know if something is there when it's invisible. That's why one of the first thing mental health charities tend to work on is awareness.

Eye contact is a myth propagated by people trying to make our autistic friends and neighbors uncomfortable

People don't even start small talk in my office. We just laugh about memes, funny videos, games or do animal noises

Girls are significantly less likely to be diagnosed than boys and are more likely to get diagnosed later in life.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10173330/

Edit: Underdiagnosis in female-presenting children will continue to be a problem until it is recognized and corrected. When this sort of silent type of ADHD is codified, the minority of boys with this type should also benefit as a result. It's a women's issue because it predominantly affects women. It's really gross to come into a women's space and essentially say "forget the many women; let's talk about the few men."

It's her life, it's her gender. She's not implying that her experiences are exclusive to her gender.

Check the community, champ. You're in a forum made to talk about experiences of women with ADHD, so gender is a bit relevant to the discussion.