694
top 37 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 87 points 2 months ago
[-] CptEnder@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

He's used to drink like a 24 pack a beer at a time too lmao the man really was just living life with +130% settings.

[-] brosaph@lemmy.world 48 points 2 months ago
[-] GroundedGator@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

I will now learn to speak this word fluently and use it often to announce my farts.

Excuse me, I must retire to the veranda to tune my bumbulum.

[-] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 45 points 2 months ago

and people complain about "bullshit jobs" these days

[-] Xeroxchasechase@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Dear colleagues,

I hope this email finds you well. As per my last email I'm delighted to inform you that last year's farter, who had proven himself of a great value and an asset, will be joining our team.

I expect nothing but the highest standards for the king's farting festival. He was most generous for giving us the opportunity to travel his land, we are grateful for his generousity and thus don't want to fuck it up.

Best regards, Xero

[-] juice702@lemmy.world 30 points 2 months ago

How do I become a flatulist?

[-] don@lemm.ee 15 points 2 months ago

You’re gonna need beans. Lots of beans.

[-] Thteven@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

They're in the right place

[-] pyre@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Tom Bumbulum

[-] iamtrashman1312@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Tom Beanbadil

[-] jupyter_rain@discuss.tchncs.de 29 points 2 months ago

I am underpaid

[-] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago

One time I farted and it smelled so bad I honestly wondered if I needed a doctor.

[-] Rayspekt@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

When, in fact, you needed real estate.

[-] rmuk@feddit.uk 5 points 2 months ago

Roland the Farter: [Does a jump]

Roland the Farter: [Whistles once]

Roland the Farter: [Farts]

King Henry II: [ Beckons to the camera]

King Henry II: It's free real estate.

[-] TseseJuer@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

how many farts?

[-] FozzyOsbourne@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

I did one so bad once that they had to call a priest

[-] Rayspekt@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago

I like that the also gave him the occupation of "flatulist" as he must have been a professional.

[-] RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Not only that but as the screenshot indicates, "flatulist" even has its own Wikipedia page. It indeed was (is?) an occupation.

[-] madmaurice@discuss.tchncs.de 17 points 2 months ago

"Back then we really had to work"

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"One Jump, One Whistle, and One Fart" sounds like it could be a parody of "One Bourbon, One Scotch, and One Beer."

[-] PhoreTwunny@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Well I ain't seen my baby, don't know where she's been / I've been eating broccoli, cabbage, rice and beans / Gonna smell foul man, when I let loose / Give you a triple-shot of my toots / But that's not all there is, yeah that's only one part / When I do one whistle, one jump, and one fart / One whistle / One jump / And one fart

[-] thefrankring@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

Next time I see my boss, I know what to do

[-] pigup@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago
[-] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Now do it on command!

[-] CptEnder@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Damn sounded like a Motocross race starting line

[-] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 1 points 2 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

a modern contender

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[-] Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I could bag that house myself with a steady supply of cauliflower and Beyond Meat burgers. Shit, I probably have Roland beat already.

[-] Rustmilian@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Legends say he started the first gas company.

[-] thesocavault@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Natural gas gets you places. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

[-] WereCat@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

This is fart too much.

[-] pyre@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

his legacy lives on with Donald the Farter

[-] folekaule@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

He was a "flautist" alright.

[-] buttfarts@lemy.lol 2 points 2 months ago

That's my jam

this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2024
694 points (97.7% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

25837 readers
5030 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS