Children need exposure to a diverse set of role models or they turn into hateful, close-minded lizards spitting venom at healthy people for their choice in decor.
Are we talking about the TV show Married With Children?
I think it’s a good idea for partners to have their own dedicated space that they can decorate for themselves and keep their hobbies in. It helps keep the rest of the house tidy and allows for a little bit of a personal safe haven. Obviously, the traditional conception of a ‘man cave’ isn’t great, but I think that there is a way it can be approached non-toxically
Fuck that, I'm doing my soldering in the kitchen because that's where the best light is
"IF I'M BREATHING LEAD WE ALL ARE!"
Bro needs some 4000K 90 CRI 20W/m strips
Obviously, the traditional conception of a ‘man cave’ isn’t great
It's not the "traditional concept", it's the juiced up consumerist fantasy. The traditional man-cave is literally just the garage or the basement, where you keep your power tools.
When I first heard the word "man cave" it seemed to mean rec room/rumpus room as marketed by Spike TV. A finished basement, bonus room above the garage etc. often furnished with such things as a pool table, dart board, leather couch, big screen TV for watching The Game, wet bar, etc. From there it transitioned to mean any space that is considered "his" in the home, which might only be the parts of the garage that aren't full of rubbermaid bins full of shit they own but never use.
Side note, remember when houses had a room called the "den"?
The "Den" has been rebranded as the 'Office". Same room, just under different management.
I'd hope that nobody would disagree with this.
The toxic aspect isn't from wanting space apart from your spouse, it's in sending signals (even ironically or in jest) that the family you are a part of is something you hate, that your family is cramping your individuality, and that you want to escape from them.
Everyone needs their own time and space. Just because you married another human doesn't make you any less of an individual, and having healthy opportunity for time apart is essential.
My wife really wanted a kid. I love my wife.
I gave her no illusions though. This world is fucked. This is either the beginning of another dark(enforced ignorance) age or the end of human civilization entirely. The kid is beyond fucked.
I have more of a "welcome to the shit show, kid" mindset. I can't protect him from this exploitative hellscape, any more than I could protect myself. Oh and please spare me the cliche "well you need to man up and find a way to give them an awesome life," as reality isn't a Disney movie.
I can show him the stuff I like and ways to protect himself a little, but man his generation's future is bleak.
My husband wants kids, I'm okay without for the same reasons as you and a big disgust of pregnancy. I have a lot of experience with kids in my career and we love kids, but it just seems the kindest thing to do for them is to not bring them into this world. We're planning on fostering once we're in a better financial position and hopefully adopting from there. I'd rather grow our family with a kid or toddler that already got the shit luck of being here.
And people ask me why I didn’t follow this dream life.
They need good role models like their parents who take them to a local brewery and shove an iPad in their face then ignore them while the parents drink craft beer.
I wonder if my perception is fucked or what i have to think about these things. I was once on a date in a restaurant and next to us was a family of 5 and the youngest was maybe 7 and he played Fortnite on an ipad most of the time. My date pointed this out as "rude" and "bad parenting" and i agreed. But it made me thinking. I think i had pretty good parents, and they dragged me and my sister to a lot of places i didn't want to be. But i was pretty happy as long as i could bring my gameboy. The boy was 7 of course he didn't want to sit in a restaurant and do conversation with adults.
Now my sister has two children that are 7 and 5 and my perception has changed again. It's absolutely scary how addicted kids are to phones. It's like watching crack addicts. They aren't even allowed on the phone a lot, but the things they would do to not even do anything interesting, and just press buttons and play the worst mobile games and watch the worst youtube videos ever created.
I liked games on my gameboy, and later game gear, but i never liked any game as much as my nephew likes to watch a minecraft video on youtube in a language he doesn't speak (and he never played minecraft.) it's truly bizarre, and because he only likes to watch these dumb ass videos and is only allowed to watch a short goodnight story every night if he behaves, he can't even watch a movie. The concept of something bad happens to a main character blows his mind so much that he never wants to watch a movie with me, and would rather watch elsa getting impregnated by spiderman. He loves the movie cars, and when i showed him cars 3, he couldn't understand how lightning mcqueen would not win at some point.
Parenting (and childhood) is intense and unrelenting. You can't expect parents to be on stage continuously and continue to be patient and kind. You also can't expect a 7 year old to be happy listening to their parents talk about work for 45 minutes. Taking breaks or responsibly drinking a beer is perfectly fine and isn't going to negatively impact the child any more than allowing them to watch some age appropriate media for the time before they eat.
totally agree that parents need a break and a good drink. hell it is exhausting. but please avoid just putting them Infront of a screen. get the grandparents to look after them, let them sleep over at a friend's house, organise a nanny. as a society we are already too often starring at screens.
Thats not a critique of parenting its a critique of screens. Which isnt exactly settled. For example my wife and I work in tech, all of our toys are technology of some kind. Its hypocritical of us to tell our kids they shouldnt be on these things. Responsible use has nothing to do with the technology itself, and varies widely from family to family and location to location.
Don't hate. Parents are people too and that's their time. Kid time is the other 22 hours that day.
Sign saying "Just one glass a day" picturing a giant wine glass the size of a goldfish bowl.
Hilarious.
Also, "live, laugh, love" but it's aspirational, not what ever actually happens.
Casual alcoholism goes hand in hand with the wife bad/husband bad boomer humor. Tbh we call it boomer humor but most people I've heard it from were much younger.
So is porn good or bad?
It’s Shroedinger’s ethics. You can’t really know until you open the upstanding pastor’s secret box and it happens to be full of CSAM and bodies.
Hmm let's see. Showing porn to children. Good or bad....hmm. Nobody knows!
Never really know on Lemmy. The other day a woman was wearing a trashy shirt full of sexual innuendo and swear words in public and lemmys response was "fuck those kids". But in another thread like this, it's bad
All I can say is I recently got into a thing specifically for the porn, and it ended up being a super emotional and not really all that pornographic story which fucked me all up and I haven't been able to jerk off since.
Porn wouldn't have done that.
Edit: Adastra for those asking. I just thought it was just a yiff-filled dating sim when I started it.
Profile picture checks out
In this case I don't think it's about the porn but the need to show it off as an integral part of your identity. I think it may even betray a need to reaffirm your heteronormativity hence a bad role model if you happen to get kids that need to learn about who they are rather than what's expected of them.
So we will always say "porn is bad" is a stupid belief because like in all things when you get in the weeds it's never going to be easy sorting it out.
As a man who really loves teaching children and helping them solve their own problems, handing them a world full of problems is right up my alley
We're going to have problems if you are attacking caves, who doesn't desire a cave?
Robin. He's fucking sick of caves. Do you know what bat guano smells like?
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