Return to taking a big drag off a jay and hearing a seed pop

My partner started smoking recently and I loved telling her all about what it was like back in the day, when weed was illegal in every state, so you had to trust your brother's friend or the weird guy at work wasn't a nark. Then you'd proceed to buy the shittiest weed on the planet that took a whole bowl before you felt anything. Then came the era that I was hanging out with bikers a bit and I was getting my weed through my bestie whose step-dad had ties to The Hell's Angels. My bestie would always go on about "this is two toke shit right here" and it was. It was really good.

But my partner, you see, got the industrial grade treatment out the gate. Like she jumped straight to OG Kush lol. Completely missed out on that high school weed era. Also this past week was my first time trying Banana Kush and oh my god.

Westerners shopping for 36% thc Indica Galactica x ThiccSteak crossbred flower with an energetic head high and a fruity aftertaste
Just smoke hashish you got off your uncle like a normal person

Seriously, now that I don’t smoke very often I just use a one-hitter and I can’t hold it in too long or I’ll be absolutely gone.

Please take me back to going to the weedman's house, getting locked into a two hour conversation about his drum kit, and cranking my "I need to go now" body language up to 11 in the first 15 minutes. Getting on the weedman app and getting text notifications when my order is ready is deeply fucked, and now I have to research what the fuck I'm buying instead of handing the guy $100 and being guaranteed something good without a homework assignment.

i smoke bowl after bowl of the good shit and hardly even feel it

before anyone starts typing the phrase tolerance break: i can assure you i'm already aware

get Type 3. high cbd hemp.

it has like 0.5 to maybe 2% THC. looks pretty just like your high end stuff but gets you high just like old mexican brick. but without the headache

type 2 (even ratio of cbd thc) is more like old school mids.

also type 3 tends to be sold for schwag prices. can't find it in dispensaries though just online but it's legal basically everywhere.

i continue to experience the joys of chilling with my plug tendy to this day. it's exceedingly chill to just go hang out with her for a bit and talk to her partner about math.

like 10 years ago i had a layover in denver and crashed on a friends couch. he had an industry grower job and we had both gone to ag school together, done a lot of work in controlled environment ag, and got to chop it up about what it was like to grow this crop as opposed to like tomatoes or greens where the fully indoor margins are fucked. he got me into his work houses by describing me as a potential hire, and then proceeded to violate all his NDAs over the next hours because, his words, "fuck these people are rich and dumb". it's all hilarious from an ag perspective.

anyway, he also schooled me about how all the front-of-house language had changed from the prohibition days, with its regionally specific language, and that i was officially an "old" because i just wanted a bit of "flower" or even "shake". my own personal bit was to ask--after the barely shaving budtender goes through his whole pseudo-sommelier for tourists (that i didn't request or want)--if they "had any mids?" to be fair, that question even used to drive one of my snobbier dealers nuts.

anyway, sales is sales. some people want the guy up in their shit trying to be the friend, but some of us just want to look and think quietly to ourselves unless we have a question. most places seem to cater to the former, because i'm sure those types close and upsell more. grateful these days that more places have websites with online listings and descriptions. but yeah, it is a lot of noise to signal. honestly, the wine/sommelier thing is my closest equivalent, because a lot of those people are remarkably full of shit. seriously, once i went through formal coursework on the chemistry and biology of viticulture and enology and worked alongside actual field researchers, it kind of reveals that a lot of that stuff is patter for the rubes who want to play discerning little lordling for the dinner table. people are just trying to get up outta their heads a little, stop trying to make it a renaissance painting.