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i-cant

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[-] supafuzz@hexbear.net 184 points 3 days ago

$60,000 reward with a "terms and conditions apply, you ain't never gonna see this money" asterisk is just about the most American thing ever. Everything is always a scam, no exceptions

[-] 2Password2Remember@hexbear.net 151 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)
  1. honestly good, fuck that shithead

  2. bourgeoisie showing their whole ass by not even rewarding the class traitors who help them. hopefully this story spreads far and wide and discourages future stitch-getters

  3. our ruling class is so aggressively incompetent, it would be funny if we weren't still losing

Death to America

[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 37 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

our ruling class is so aggressively incompetent, it would be funny if we weren't still losing

One of the brighter billionaires will :redacted-1::redacted-2:

logsknown reality warper and accidental :lathe-of-heaven:

pruned :redacted-1::redacted-2: to maintain temporal continuity

[-] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 133 points 3 days ago

Best possible outcome would be for this guy to not get the money. Show future would be snitches that there's no point

[-] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 71 points 2 days ago

Lmfao the tipster really thought their claim wouldn't be denied

[-] Grownbravy@hexbear.net 111 points 3 days ago

i hope it was worth it, a life changing amount of money dangled in front of your face and the rules are so fucking obfuscating that you cant even be sure if you still qualify after reading the rules.

[-] BashfulBob@hexbear.net 71 points 3 days ago

System is working as intended.

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[-] Bureaucrat@hexbear.net 84 points 3 days ago

Related - I really hate how most people write articles. Halfway in and there's still no followup on the statement made by the headline. On top of that the headline is immediately repeated in the text and the premise is then restated several times.
We get the "bizzare rule" answered with the second to last sentence

So, if the informant called 911 instead of Crime Stoppers, they might be unable to make the claim.

This is what the article is about, but you can't get around to it until the very end because the article has to be written like an 8th graders essay

[-] underisk@hexbear.net 51 points 2 days ago

It’s written that way to increase ad impressions. I hate it with every fiber of my being.

[-] Bureaucrat@hexbear.net 32 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

That's definitely a large part of it, but it is also just the US style. I see it much less in non-US publications. It probably has something to do with the US having an abysmal reading level.

[-] JeSuisUnHombre@lemm.ee 29 points 2 days ago

Because US publications rely more on ads to generate revenue

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[-] graymess@hexbear.net 29 points 2 days ago

It's literally the opposite structure of the journalistic inverted pyramid format. Most relevant sentences go right at the top, further details below. Articles used to be intentionally written so you could stop reading at any point and walk away with most of the information.

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[-] ThomasMuentzner@hexbear.net 34 points 2 days ago

judas does not even get his silver ...

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 76 points 3 days ago

The tip-off from the employee is apparently crucial in the case, but the question remains if the worker will be able to cash in on the $60k reward at all. The rules are complicated, as they stipulate tipsters in with a chance of the FBI portion of the reward cannot nominate themselves.

This means the McDonald's worker will have to be put forward by an investigating agency, such as the Department of Defense or the FBI, which is then reviewed by an interagency committee. If approved, the suggestion is passed on to the Secretary of State, who signs off on the final decision.

If that's not tough enough, the full reward amount could also be in dispute as payment amounts are based on factors from the value of the information provided, the level of threat, the severity of danger or injury to people or property, and the degree of the source's cooperation. As for the NYPD's $10k, the rewards program is granted through Crime Stoppers, where tipsters receive a unique reference number.

This number is crucial as the tipster has to use it call back or check the status of the investigation online before lodging a claim with the NYC Police Foundation and the Crime Stoppers Board of Directors, who ultimately decide whether to approve the tip and instruct the caller how to receive it. So, if the informant called 911 instead of Crime Stoppers, they might be unable to make the claim.

In both cases, the rewards will only be paid out if the arrest leads to indictment or conviction from the court - so the McDonald's employee could be waiting a while and even at the end of it all, might not even get a dime.

[-] Bureaucrat@hexbear.net 104 points 3 days ago

I remember when I found a bunch of stolen goods and handed it in to the cops after I'd find out as much as possible about the goods (it was jewellry thrown in a lake, my family thinks somebody hit it there after doing a break-in and would wait for the heat to die off). We'd cleaned up the silverware, found names, dates, all sorts of stuff that could help the cops find the owners. Lots of family heirlooms. I handed it in so my little sister could learn something about doing The Good Thing and Helping Others, plus we found some fun in talking about the finders' fee.
Three days later I come back and the cops say they didn't receive any goods that day, and I also spot two of them wearing watches that were among the goods handed in. one of them winked at me.

[-] 2Password2Remember@hexbear.net 81 points 3 days ago

every single cop should be executed

Death to America

[-] Bureaucrat@hexbear.net 47 points 3 days ago

This happened on christmas day too. Seemed like the opportunity to do a genuine christmas miracle for some family that probably missed their old heirlooms + an incredible PR opportunity for the cops. But nah.

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[-] BashfulBob@hexbear.net 54 points 3 days ago

Reads like the fine print on an insurance contract

[-] ksynwa@lemmygrad.ml 43 points 3 days ago

FBI and NYPD can have a little deny depose defend aa a treat

[-] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 29 points 3 days ago

This ain't a reward, it's a sweepstakes for a chance to win!

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[-] cmhickman358@hexbear.net 71 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

How much you want to bet that since the snitch was at work when they made the call they're going to pull some bullshit like that means it was technically McDonalds that reported the crime so any reward money that does end up getting paid out goes to the company instead.

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[-] Ildsaye@hexbear.net 73 points 3 days ago

Class traitors praying porky doesn't alter the deal any further

[-] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 64 points 3 days ago

To steal a joke from @LeninsBeard@hexbear.net,

If you are a minority pell grant recipient who starts a business in a disadvantaged community that stays open for 3+ years, you may be eligible to be nominated to receive the "Snitch of the Year" award from the Department of Defense. power-stride

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[-] btfod@hexbear.net 51 points 2 days ago

The McDonald's worker said they saw Mangione around 9.15am 'acting suspiciously' in the restaurant, adding that he appeared to have fraudulent documents

What's this about? I'm trying to think of why it would ever be necessary to show an ID at McDonald's... so we might have a real super sleuth of an employee on our hands here! Were they really out there eyeing every table just in case a patron decided to lay out their fake IDs and forged documents like they were about to start vlogging? What foresight and dedication! It would be such a tragedy for the bravest and goodest hero who saved the day not to get their due reward, instead to fade away into history like they were never there in the first place...

[-] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 51 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Same comment from me:

The search then grew over the weekend ,as the FBI backed the NYPD in the investigation, adding an additional $50,000 to the pot, and hundreds of tips poured in.

The McDonald's worker said they saw Mangione around 9.15am 'acting suspiciously' in the restaurant, adding that he appeared to have fraudulent documents.

Mangione was then arrested with five charges at the scene, as officers found he was in possession of fake IDs, a 'ghost' gun, silencer, clothes, and a mask matching the one that the suspected shooter was captured wearing.

I'm so tinfoil hat about it. Out of the hundreds and hundreds, if not thousands of tips this one worked? A Greyhound from New York to California is 3 days straight? 4 or 5 with rest? So in essence the man could have been anywhere in the continental US - hell, anywhere on the globe and especially those parts where it's hard to come into contact with a police department that gives a fuck. But in that McDonald's in particular a man was acting strange? And wasn't just told to fuck off? And the employee wasn't just like "get the fuck out of my store" they were like "that guy looks just like that guy with the smile!" Why the fuck would he splay out his fake IDs and tell people about it? How suspicious are you acting in McDonald's that they would search your car? What's that? You had the same clothes, mask, and gun on your person? That's even weirder!! No car? Throw your shit away!! As a matter of fact, go through the drive through and eat in the parking lot. It seems like a generational throw coupled with generational luck.

[-] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 33 points 2 days ago

There's so much about this that's weird. Why did he still have all his shit on him? Why was he still so close? Hell, why was he just chilling at the McDonald's? Take that shit to go & eat somewhere else! .

I'm split on whether this is a patsy or parallel construction. I think it's more likely this is the guy & they just used some means they'd rather not share to find him, though I haven't ruled out him just being a patsy (his comments about the money not being his). If he dies mysteriously in jail I'll probably swing back to him being a patsy

[-] SchillMenaker@hexbear.net 26 points 2 days ago

Also this guy was living in Hawaii previously. That's a pretty fucking ideal place to lay low.

[-] miz@hexbear.net 23 points 2 days ago

this whole thing is off, like @CyborgMarx@hexbear.net said this reeks of parallel construction

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[-] supafuzz@hexbear.net 30 points 2 days ago

mcdonald's workers out here authenticating motherfuckin' documents and still not getting a living wage

[-] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 26 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Be me

McDonald's Cashier

Got Paper's Please during the Steam Summer Sale(Tm)

Finally got to play it

Showupforwork.jpg.exe

Feeling funny at work

"Can I see your papers please?"

Guy looks surprised but obliges

WTF it worked???

Look at the ID

It says he's 76 years old

Look at the name

Kill D. CEO

Picture is the kid from Superbad

Make a copy of it in the copy machine right by the fryer

"Thank you sir, your food will be right out"

Try to alert the police

They show up before my 911 call connects

Guys I think I just made $60,000!!

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[-] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 42 points 2 days ago

Seriously, cops denying reward money is the oldest trick in the book. It's embarrassing that the worker fell for it.

[-] Zuzak@hexbear.net 42 points 2 days ago

lmfao get fucked, traitor

[-] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 58 points 3 days ago

FBI doesn’t reward snitches.

[-] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 40 points 2 days ago

Good. Snitches don't deserve shit.

[-] gaycomputeruser@hexbear.net 20 points 2 days ago

They basically never pay out tip money if full. Even if you nail the guy with your tip, and he gets convicted, they always find a way that your tip was on 80% helpful or some shit.

[-] CthulhusIntern@hexbear.net 35 points 2 days ago

It would be really funny if, during the trial, the McDonald's employee's testimony suddenly changes.

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[-] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 51 points 3 days ago

They may as well have bought some scratch-offs

[-] TheDrink@hexbear.net 21 points 2 days ago

You would think that the feds would realize that it is in their interest to pay the person extremely publicly so that everyone knows that traitors get rewarded. Guess not.

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[-] Comrade_Mushroom@hexbear.net 33 points 2 days ago
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[-] ClimateChangeAnxiety@hexbear.net 39 points 3 days ago

I always kind of assumed that tip money was a scam. Glad to have that confirmed.

Ngl I hope that McDonald’s worker finds themselves beat up and thrown in a ditch. Not killed but seriously injured and understanding what “snitches get stitches” means.

Seriously, fuck you, you’re a monster.

[-] KimJongGoku@hexbear.net 31 points 3 days ago

Honestly, I hope the fucker gets to enjoy a technically easily treatable but prohibitively expensive medical condition for the rest of a decently long life

[-] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 42 points 3 days ago

lmao, fucking hilarious.

reminds me of a quote from a movie where a single team of two hitmen are sent to kill a witness and an attorney 4+ hours apart to protect a hundred billion dollar deep state corruption scheme. to their credit, they are pros and make the first hit look like an accident. but it makes the news and the second target is extremely twitchy, paranoid, and rabbits immediately. so when the hitmen show up at his place and realize he ditched all his electronics and split 4 hours ago, one of the guys says with frustration, "we told them this job would take 2 teams. it's amazing where these guys try to cut costs."

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[-] buh@hexbear.net 40 points 3 days ago

Cursed bit idea: the reward money goes to the responding the-pigs because of technicalities

[-] Yukiko@hexbear.net 34 points 3 days ago

Hope it was worth it, asshole.

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 26 points 2 days ago

Rug Pull but for reward money ratting out a hero.

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this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2024
195 points (100.0% liked)

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