almost ate the onion here
this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2025
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Hair plugs are gender-affirming care.
I swallowed that fucker whole, but I'm about 92% sure that within 4 years, this headline will have become reality.
At this point is an oracle rather than a comical publication. I remember some years ago they said we gonna deplete our Miley Cyrus reserves.
Damn. Just learned it was fake from you, my friend.
I give it a year, but I'm usually wrong heh. Tiny snowflakes that are richer than anyone. You'd think being that rich you could learn to laugh it off, or at least afford therapy that teaches you that skill, even if it takes a billion dollars cause you're such a huge dick.
I can’t tell anymore what’s true and what’s parody.
Satire is meaningless when reality is far more absurd than anything a writer could ever come up with.
We all said that eight years ago as well. Somehow it’s gotten even worse this time around.
I recall that sentiment during the Tangerine Turd's first term as well from comedy writers. Like how can you make satire when it's probably been discussed at the oval office? That alone should make any citizen think about what brought on that situation, but if it didn't the first time, sure as hell won't do anything for the believers now. Unfortunately it makes for a poor situation when it happens to the country with the biggest military on the planet.
Actually genuinely surprised to see this was an Onion story.
"I liked it so much, I bought the company!"
It's getting harder and harder to tell without looking at the comm which stories are Onions or not.
Nice to see he was able to rehire his hair back.
Omg before his ass hair transplant
Just eating onions this week..
So crunchy and juicy.
But I've gotten suspicious as well. I check every community before I trust the headline.
The fact that I had to double check and make sure that this is actually an Onion article and not something real bespeaks what a fucked up world we live in now.
I thought it was real and it didnt surprise me. Guess my view of America has changed a lot lately.
I just about got Onioned there.
I can already see her standing behind the podium with a grey uniform on.
Musk is eventually going under the bus. Has no one studied history?! This dumbass is being set up as a patsy. Hell, Trump's already backed up the truck, "Uh, he's not really in charge, uh, it's not his fault."
Tomorrow, it will be his fault. Musk is going down hard when shit truly gets wild. Wait and see.
It’s like getting fined by the court for calling Meloni short.
Apparently Trump has merged the standards for spokesmodel and Attorney General now. Was there a swimsuit competition?
"Yes, Mr. President, we can designate putting too much vermouth in a martini as Domestic Terrorism, and this will give us an excuse to arrest people without a warrant and send them to Gitmo indefinitely without a court order."
"Do it."