this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2025
322 points (95.2% liked)

The Onion

5849 readers
784 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 32 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.blahaj.zone 59 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I love this new sicko variant

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Shouldn't they be mexsickans?

[–] Aqarius@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Mexsickanos?

[–] flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Makes me think they know how much we love the original.

[–] bishbosh@lemm.ee 2 points 2 weeks ago

Don't they sell "Sicko" shirts? They know our love lol

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 46 points 2 weeks ago
[–] spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone 39 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

The newest member of the Sickos Committee.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 19 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Jesus is next to God sitting on a throne? ... I thought Jesus was God and God was Jesus in one in the same trinity-what-ever-you-want-to-call-it

[–] Albbi@lemmy.ca 36 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Mark 16:19:

“So then the Lord Jesus, after he had spoken to them, was taken up into heaven and sat down at the right hand of God.”

Not that I believe in this crap, but knowing it has been helpful when watching Jeopardy.

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

This is actually funny, because on the comic Jesus is on the left side

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 20 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

God's webcam reverses the image. I hate it, too. You try to explain it to him and you can just see his eyes glaze over in less than a second.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Are YOU going to be the one to tell Jesus he's in the wrong seat?

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I'm gonna tell Jesus to pull a cunt over his head and fuck off to Norway

Writing that out in English feels very weird

[–] reptar@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Reading that in English feels very weird.

Well, once you pointed it out.

[–] Darkenfolk@dormi.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago

I gotta say that it doesn't get much better in Dutch.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Thor & Oden awaits

[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 2 points 2 weeks ago

maybe he's English and doesn't know right from left?

[–] Denvil@lemmy.one 8 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Well you see God the Son is seperate from God the Father, but they're also the same guy, both are part of God, but are individuals who can coexist, but God consists of them and the Holy Spirit, completely unrelated guy but also the same guy, all three are god, but individuals, but they can't be too individual, then they wouldn't be God, cause all three make God. Just make sure you know they're seperate. Or are they?

(Idk too much about this, I just find it confusing)

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Huh. It's almost like someone just made this up as they went.

[–] Gronk@aussie.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago

I'm biased but I honestly believe Jesus was preaching some form of pantheism in his day, only for it to be misconstrued and abused for power.

A lot of the holy trinity (or is that a Cajun food thing? I don't remember.) stuff and other passages make sense from this perspective rather than a 'we're seperate from some anthropomorphic god, who by the looks of it doesn't have the best track record.' perspective.

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago

training for accepting whatever the church tells you regardless of if it makes sense or contradicts itself openly

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

Iirc that's what trinitarian sects believe, non- or anti-trinitarian sects specifically do not.

[–] Phantom_Engineer@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Reminds of that part in the Bible where Moses strikes the rock and the water comes out and Moses is just too dang modest about the water, so God doesn't let him into the promise land.

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Wasn't the reason that he hit the rock rather than talking to it?

[–] Phantom_Engineer@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, the actual reason was that he hit the rock and didn't praise God enough when he did it. Or something like that. It's been awhile since I've been in a church.

[–] thespcicifcocean@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

i've seen this guys shit before and never really thought it was any good, and always at least just a little bit racist. I can say for certainty that I continue to think that his shit isn't very good and contains some racist shit.

[–] Maven@lemmy.zip 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This is the onions cartoonists parodying right-wing political comics. The whole point is to say that right-wing political comics aren't very good and contain some racist shit.

[–] thespcicifcocean@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Ah that would explain it

[–] SpicyColdFartChamber@lemm.ee 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I hope you are shit posting. But in case you aren't, this is satire.

[–] thespcicifcocean@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I didn't realize I was on the onion, you may roast me. Spit roast me, even.