this post was submitted on 13 Apr 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] tourist@lemmy.world 206 points 2 months ago (3 children)

They didn't have any abbreviations ready for that sentence

[–] HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world 79 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)

"So, what code do we put in for the insurance company?"

[–] piefood@piefed.social 188 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)
[–] Anarki_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 40 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Definitely awarded

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 11 points 2 months ago
[–] Wilco@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago

This explains everything in 5 characters.

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[–] Gork@lemm.ee 30 points 2 months ago
[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 40 points 2 months ago

If the chief complaint is funny/fucked up enough, we won't abbreviate it

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago

FGT SPNR STK ON PNS

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 58 points 2 months ago (8 children)
[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 52 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't have a penis, but I for one was a total idiot at age 9.

[–] absentbird@lemm.ee 18 points 2 months ago

Not having a penis: the perfect counter to the fidgit spinner trap

[–] UltraMasculine@sopuli.xyz 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm much older than 9 and stuff gets stuck on my penis all the time.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 16 points 2 months ago

Check out Mr. Popular over here with his social life.

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 35 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Boys start playing with their weiners as soon as their hands can start grasping stuff. It's instinctual.

[–] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 8 points 2 months ago (3 children)

It's instinctual in that all babies explore their genitals as soon as they can start willfully moving their hands, yes. It's not just boys having a special connection to their genitalia.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, but we make it our personality!

[–] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] tomi000@lemmy.world 33 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I dont think 15yo penises fit into fidget spinners, but Im not an expert on child genitalia.

[–] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 71 points 2 months ago

I'll ask my priest.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 20 points 2 months ago

It really depends on both the size of the fidget spinner and the will of the child.

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[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

My wife texted me the other day:

You know that yellow slide our son carries around? Well, he started sticking his penis in it, you have to talk to him now.

He's 4. It's just what boys do.

[–] GoodLuckToFriends@lemmy.today 16 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Yeah, children play with their genitals far more than I ever wanted to believe. I don't really remember doing it as a kid, but it wouldn't surprise me if most parents, including mine, have stories about the odd things that happen.

[–] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Not just boys. Girls explore and test boundaries with their genitals too.

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Have a daughter also, so I know it all too well! Our focus is "It's normal but private." We will see how that goes.

[–] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

That's gonna be our approach, too with our kiddo.

It's a hard one to fight your own overly-conservative programming in order to teach a healthier outlook to your kids. Hard to know if you're going too far one way or the other. So much of parenting you just don't know if you're doing it right until you're done.

Fist-bump from one internet parent to another, you're doing a great job ✌️

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[–] dumbass@leminal.space 6 points 2 months ago

You gotta start somewhere.

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[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 32 points 2 months ago (2 children)

15 mins at the swimming pool is cheaper than ER

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[–] toofpic@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago

The ultimate Helicopter Dick.

[–] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Right foot penis, abdomen penis, back penis, fidgit spinner.. still spinning!

[–] PapstJL4U@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

That's why you explain what the helicopter really is...

[–] HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Directions unclear

[–] dechnically@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago

he's literally me

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Like it didn't happen to everybody at some point.

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] GoodLuckToFriends@lemmy.today 3 points 2 months ago

I would have to wonder if there were any nurses/doctors that found themselves spinning a fidget spinner later that day. Maybe they knew where it came from... maybe they didn't.

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I've seen some different sizes of fidget spinners, but no way is anyone that small lol

[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 24 points 2 months ago (4 children)
[–] Zidane@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago

We all know boys don't grow dick and balls until puberty

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I mean, as someone who was once 9 (and I'm not lacking but I'm not that gifted either), still idk about this. They used skateboard bearings, like bones reds but cheaper (if you wanna make that shit fly, throw some swiss ceramics in there). I never fidget spun because I'm old but I skated so I recognized them instantly. Maybe if the bearing was popped out, but no way anyone fits in a fidget spinner with the bearing in.

That axle hole is 8mm, the external diameter is still only 22mm, but maybe, if the wiener in question can squish down to roughly 23mm. Still hard to believe. Reds pictured for reference.

3621

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I’d guess if you were 9 years old and super flaccid you could kind of mush it through there.

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[–] KingBoo@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] nichtburningturtle@feddit.org 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It's a 9 year old and some spinners have a hole on each side.

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[–] ImmersiveMatthew@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Someone did not know that alcohol makes you soft.

[–] assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Yeah. Lets get the 9yo drunk

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It builds character, dammit!

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