Seems more honest than conventional stock markets.
this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2025
431 points (99.5% liked)
Funny: Home of the Haha
7574 readers
1202 users here now
Welcome to /c/funny, a place for all your humorous and amusing content.
Looking for mods! Send an application to Stamets!
Our Rules:
-
Keep it civil. We're all people here. Be respectful to one another.
-
No sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia or any other flavor of bigotry. I should not need to explain this one.
-
Try not to repost anything posted within the past month. Beyond that, go for it. Not everyone is on every site all the time.
Other Communities:
-
/c/TenForward@lemmy.world - Star Trek chat, memes and shitposts
-
/c/Memes@lemmy.world - General memes
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Right? I mean there's serious risk there, but there's no pretending. Invest in a pirate, share the loot. Pretty clear and up front.
...share the loot.
I'm no piratologist but I believe the term is "booty".
Arrr.
🍑
I know we're all joking here, but as an investment the risk isn't the piracy going bad, the risk is that pirates are branching out into a new version of 419 scams (aka Nigerian Prince scam). The pretending could be that the premise is the scam.
Why take the risk of going out in a boat and be shot at when you can get naive and greedy marks to simply sending you their money willingly?
The people who usually do that are basically slaves to someone or some org else.
Guys you already had my at pirates, you don't have to convince me.
This will be pretty much the state of the whole world in a few years.
What do you mean? That's literally how the world's been for long. Investing in Somali pirates is not any different from investing in Tesla or Meta
How do I add raiders to my 401k?
What a noob question. That's the wrong question. You should be asking how to diversify your raider portfolio. If you invest your money on shit-pirates and lose your ass, you'll have no one to blame but yourself.
Go heavy on Somalia, the big ones are there for sure. But don't sleep on Indonesia or Nigeria. If the leaders sporting an AK, ask yourself "what kind of bling did the pirate leader add to his AK?" . Watch out for 'gold' AKs, a lot of wannabes paint theirs.
Someone get this person a money talk show ASAP! He's the next Jim Cramer!
When was the last time you got kidnapped by pirates?
Not physically but Tesla and Facebook steal your data. Everything that makes you an individual to the global economy is stolen and sold.
Adjusting for population growth i wonder if the risk to get kidnapped by pirates is significantly different from the 17th century.
That being said, how much value do you generate for your employer and how big is your salary?
Current state of the United States tbh
A heist is when the goods are stolen without being noticed until after the fact.
Piracy is not a heist.
The Dutch East India company's biggest innovation was instead of begging some king to fund their colonization, they sold shares in the venture to regular people. This is the invention of capitalism.
Then they leveraged the state military to increase their profits without paying a dime. And then after going bankrupt they make the state take over their liabilities while squirreling away the profits. This is the refinement of capitalism.
SOUND THE ALARM! Pirate stock is blasting out of the freakin GALAXY!
calls on PRTS
Where can I invest? Seems thrustworthy than conventional stock market and more legal too
Can we trust it? Lost most of my money in a bullet proof investment in the Assad regime last year...
I swear I have seen something that suggested this was something done with classical pirates. Maybe with like privateers or something.
Classical pirates often received a letter of Marquis from one of the colonial powers.
They got support and amnesty from one nation if they concentrated their raids on the ships of the other nations.
Fuck yeah!
So it's the same as the stock market
At least it has an income.
Give me that booty