this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2025
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 96 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Seems more honest than conventional stock markets.

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 43 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Right? I mean there's serious risk there, but there's no pretending. Invest in a pirate, share the loot. Pretty clear and up front.

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 58 points 2 months ago (3 children)

...share the loot.

I'm no piratologist but I believe the term is "booty".

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I know we're all joking here, but as an investment the risk isn't the piracy going bad, the risk is that pirates are branching out into a new version of 419 scams (aka Nigerian Prince scam). The pretending could be that the premise is the scam.

Why take the risk of going out in a boat and be shot at when you can get naive and greedy marks to simply sending you their money willingly?

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The people who usually do that are basically slaves to someone or some org else.

[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 months ago

Guys you already had my at pirates, you don't have to convince me.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago (2 children)

This will be pretty much the state of the whole world in a few years.

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 2 months ago (2 children)

What do you mean? That's literally how the world's been for long. Investing in Somali pirates is not any different from investing in Tesla or Meta

[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

How do I add raiders to my 401k?

[–] Bacano@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What a noob question. That's the wrong question. You should be asking how to diversify your raider portfolio. If you invest your money on shit-pirates and lose your ass, you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

Go heavy on Somalia, the big ones are there for sure. But don't sleep on Indonesia or Nigeria. If the leaders sporting an AK, ask yourself "what kind of bling did the pirate leader add to his AK?" . Watch out for 'gold' AKs, a lot of wannabes paint theirs.

[–] Uncurious3512@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Someone get this person a money talk show ASAP! He's the next Jim Cramer!

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

When was the last time you got kidnapped by pirates?

[–] Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Not physically but Tesla and Facebook steal your data. Everything that makes you an individual to the global economy is stolen and sold.

[–] Saleh@feddit.org 3 points 2 months ago

Adjusting for population growth i wonder if the risk to get kidnapped by pirates is significantly different from the 17th century.

That being said, how much value do you generate for your employer and how big is your salary?

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 1 points 2 months ago

Current state of the United States tbh

[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com 15 points 2 months ago

A heist is when the goods are stolen without being noticed until after the fact.

Piracy is not a heist.

[–] yesman@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The Dutch East India company's biggest innovation was instead of begging some king to fund their colonization, they sold shares in the venture to regular people. This is the invention of capitalism.

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

Then they leveraged the state military to increase their profits without paying a dime. And then after going bankrupt they make the state take over their liabilities while squirreling away the profits. This is the refinement of capitalism.

[–] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

SOUND THE ALARM! Pirate stock is blasting out of the freakin GALAXY!

[–] Kyle_The_G@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

calls on PRTS

[–] missandry351@lemmings.world 5 points 2 months ago

Where can I invest? Seems thrustworthy than conventional stock market and more legal too

[–] lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com 4 points 2 months ago

Can we trust it? Lost most of my money in a bullet proof investment in the Assad regime last year...

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I swear I have seen something that suggested this was something done with classical pirates. Maybe with like privateers or something.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 4 points 2 months ago

Classical pirates often received a letter of Marquis from one of the colonial powers.
They got support and amnesty from one nation if they concentrated their raids on the ships of the other nations.

[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 months ago
[–] Tronn4@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

So it's the same as the stock market

[–] Sibshops@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago

At least it has an income.

[–] andybytes@programming.dev 2 points 2 months ago

Give me that booty

[–] Pacrat173@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 months ago

I did some looking and couldn’t find any trace of the original article but Here’s a similar article