this post was submitted on 28 May 2025
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badposting

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semi ironic badpost btw. explain your thoughts, i want to hear them

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[–] Keld@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No. Kazuma Kiryu couldn't even escape normal jail

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

was this due to him not trying or not wanting to though thinking-about-it

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Kazuma Kiryu stays in jail because a paternal figure told him to, and because a criminal going to prison is part of the natural world as he understands it. Now Hades has a paternal figure telling you not to leave because staying is part of the natural order.

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Now here's the thing, is kiryu still kiryu himself in hades or is kiryu playing as zagreus in hades? Because either way I think if he's given a goal to break out he'd still give it the old college try

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago

Kiryu could only do it if playing as Zagreus was part of a minigame that somehow solved some random bystanders problem talking to girls or something

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

I think Kiryu would give it his all if he had unresolved mommy issues to resolve like Zagreus

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's well known that Hades's one weakness is getting bashed over the head with a bicycle.

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

yes but is there loose bicycles laying around the underworld?

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Given the amount of Dutch people that are going to be down there, I'd assume so.

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago

i for one, think Hades, the God of the Dead, would have little counter to a well timed tiger drop. Kazuma Kiryu could absolutely beat Hades

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

POWERSCALING:

DOJIMA NO RYU VS. THE UNSEEN ONE

STRENGTH: HADES

SPEED: KIRYU

ENDURANCE: HADES

STARRING IN MOST VIDEO GAMES: KIRYU

LASER BLAST: HADES

DRIP: KIRYU

AURA: TIE

KAROKE: KIRYU

FAMILIAL ANGST: HADES

DEDICATED WORSHIPPERS: HADES

TECHNIQUE: KIRYU

BIG SPEAR: HADES

TIGER DROP: KIRYU

END RESULT: IDK I'M TOO LAZY TO COUNT

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

DEDICATED WORSHIPPERS: HADES

I'm contesting this. There's more living worshipers of Kiryu than there are living hades worshipers

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

I was considering through all history rather than today, though to be fair, I am a somewhat dedicated worshipper to one of the two and it's not the one that the Greeks knew of

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

Dragon of Dojima hands down

[–] vegeta1@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

Kiryu broke a the laws of physics in a turn based game and turned it into real time combat. Hades is gonna relive that ass whooping kratos gave him.

[–] WhoaSlowDownMaurice@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

Yes, since Kiryu would beat up Hades with some very painful-looking but otherwise harmless Heat Actions where he piledrives him into concrete and tasers him in the groin and such. However, Hades would be fine in the next cutscene, other than clutching his arm and panting in his idle animation.

After that, the Sad Substory Music plays when Hades explains his reason for his alienation from his wife and son to which Kiryu asks "why don't you all just talk to each other" and Hades responds "You're right, Kiryu-san! Being gods means we have all the time in the world for family therapy! Here, I want you to have this.", then walks off.

Afterwards, Kiryu remarks to himself that the most important thing for families is that they keep in touch as otherwise they'll be (heh) dead to each other. The Substory End Guitar Riff plays, after which Kiryu's reward is revealed: one (1) Golden Plate.

In short, Dojima no Ryu 10/10

I was brewing up a post about Kazuya Mishima in the old noggin because his ass would just fly out