Ask Lemmy

Yeah buddy, it's normal to feel your feelings.

I'm a dude in his 40s. If anything, I've gotten more empathetic and easily moved over the years. I have cried at movies and over books.

TV shows and movies are art. Eliciting an emotional response is kind of art's thing. Maybe not all art, but that's neither here nor there.

I often tear up from scenes from movies and tv. Yet basically never do for anything in real life.

I was listening to an NPR story the other day about how a ton of people showed up to donate blood to save an infant, and only one was a match, but it was anonymous, now the kid is a healthy 20yr old and the mom can't thank the person who saved them. It had my eyes all mushy on my commute home.

Yet, I had a cousin, and an uncle pass within the last few months and while I was sad, and I miss them, not a tear generated.

Am 41 y/o dude not that it matters

It does matter because a 41 y/o dude is also allowed to have and express emotions.

I do. 25M. For movies, lyrics, stories... Can be most casual things for most people. But I detected some special meaning and I have tears in my eyes. I for some reason got more and more emotional since I was 18. Not sure why though. I hope anyone has some kind of ideas.

I find this strange since I do not consider myself very empatic. And I also consider word empathy cringe since it is often misused to demonize political opponents.

I have cried over so much made up shit

The older I get, the more I don't give a fuck and just let go. Interstellar - when Cooper is watching messages from his son... Gets me every damn time.

And books.

If the story and characters are well written and/or acted well enough to pull you in to the story you can certainly feel empathy and other feelings vicariously.

There is plenty of entertainment that does not pull the viewer/reader in, and you don’t particularly get “involved” with them.

I’d be curious what the line is for most people, what draws them in to a story emotionally to make that investment in a fictional character.

I didn’t for most of my life. Just in the last year, there have been a few movies to just get my tears rolling.

The two recent ones that hit hard were Everything, Everywhere All At Once and of all things, 101 Dalmatians. Just something about the way they’re drawn and the amount of care in every scene made the dogs feel so much more real than modern animation and the sad scenes just cut through.

I cried when Jude Law has had enough of the dystopian society he's forced to live in and checks out forever.

Gattaca: one hell of an unknown movie.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gattaca

I tear up at most movies. It's not a sad movie, but Everything Everywhere All at Once holds the current record for most cries.

Generally if a movie doesn't make me tear up at least once that's a bad sign. At the same time I don't gravitate towards tearjerkers, they can feel emotionally manipulative and heavy handed.

I almost never cry for TV shows or books.

I cry watching space rockets launching.

Yeah man, all the time, and for the stupidest shit. Everything from children's series to grown-up movies. My wife sometimes side-eyes me for it, but she's not much better herself and usually, when one of us cries the other one joins in. It's become a cute thing between us to catch or make the other one do it first, and I love it. Also, it's a way to teach my little son that it's OK to cry and not a matter of shame. Yes, ugly cry as well. Yes, also in front of others.

For reference I’m a 39 year old dude, not that it matters.

EDIT because I saw it in the thread: Lyrics! I have songs that I can't listen to while driving, because I can't drive while I ugly cry because that wouldn't be safe.

One thing that especially hits me are acts of selflessness, be it in fiction or the actual real world. We have semi-regular floods on the river meat where I live, and I usually try to volunteer to help out with sand barriers. And everytime just seeing all those people coming together in their free time, getting wet and dirty and sweaty and exhausted, not expecting a single thing, just because it's the right thing to do and because apparently we look after one another in this 600k people city... Just typing it out makes me tear up again.

Growing up, I'd occasionally tear up over a sad movie.

Now that I'm older, I seek out movies that tend to be depressing and tragic. Watching them alone let's me express a level of empathy or grief that is almost therapeutic. Most mainstream movies that are deemed sad may still only get me to slightly tear up like the past. But I've encountered enough indy or slightly lesser know films that fly under the radar and they make me ugly cry.

Being in a vulnerable mindset kind of helps because there are moments where I could probably fight it mentally and hold back my reaction. But if I allow myself to let go, then it's full on sobbing.

Recent movies that had that effect on me are Drawing Closer, and How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies.

It's not always empathy, somethings its a personal element where I relate to someone on screen and I use them as a conduit to express the emotions I might normally suppress or stoicly ignore.

works of fiction never made me cry in my previous gender, but ever since i started estrogen it's been neat going back and rewatching my faves and seeing how much harder they hit emotionally now

Also 41 yo dude here, crying on movies, nah, I cry on books too, not that I'm invested in those fake characters, rather I take their situations as my own, daydreaming about me in their shoes

Me, and yes it’s normal to have an emotional reaction to media. You want a good cry? Watch Violet Evergarden. That shit’ll wreck you.

I cried like a baby watching Titanic and Interstellar. I also cried at the end of WALL*E

I do. Not very often, but not super rare either.

It can help when I'm miserable, as a form of emotional release.

Mainly on anime for me, I guess, largely because that's what I watch most. I don't think I've felt that emotional on other film media.

The most recent anime that touched me was Ave Mujica: The Die Is Cast.

I'm exactly like you're describing and a little older than you (44). Songs, TV shows, movies, animated series. It's a trivial feat to make me tear up at pretty much anything someone might consider touching.

I suppose it's outside of the statistical norm for our demographic, but I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with it. We feel things and we express those feelings when we have them. I'd argue it's a lot healthier than what the statistical mean of our cohort does.

Yes, of course it's normal. It's not necessarily the writing; sometimes it's the music or cinematography that'll get you. For me it's often a strong vocal, as a minimum I'll get goosebumps.

Yeah.

Occasionally I'll come across scenes in an anime that are so out of place but hurt.

Hey fellow 41 year old dude, I also cry at this stuff. It seems especially pronounced when rewatching nostalgic productions with well written characters and conflict (I will not apologize for crying all the time during Avatar the last Airbender, as an adult man). No, I do not know what this means in regard to healthy emotional processing, it just is what it is. Mind you I also get unjustifiably angry or emotional in other contexts when I feel connected to the fate of a character and they experience injustice. So this might be a general marker for some level of empathy or maybe just emotional mimicry. Thanks for posting, I think this is something people should be okay talking about more.

Edit: I wanted to add this also occurs in other mediums, like video games. Cyberpunk 2077 was like a revolution in awareness for me, but largely because I experience DID to a degree in my life, and it really flipped the table of my understanding of myself seeing what I experience through the eyes of others.

Yeah, I get teary eyed when watching movies all the time. I watched the new Lil and stitch the other week and even though the story isn't super deep, it made me cry a little in the end.

Totally normal to get emotional about things that resonate with us. I recently rewatches the new d&d movie and cried twice. Found family stories tend to get me.

The film Click always makes me cry. You know, the comedy where Adam Sandler has a magic tv remote? I'm not gonna go into too much detail on which scene; spoiler tags don't seem to work on my Lemmy reader, so I won't know if I'm doing it right. I'm just going to say it's the scene where he has an important message to deliver to his son. Gets me every time.

My memory sucks so can't remember much, but:

The Hunger Games (1) when

I actually remember when, as a kid, I rarely cried about fictional stories, or something even bad events IRL.

But once I go through the existential crisis at 18, I started to actually feel stories, like actually feeling it. I ser deaths, injustice, and tyranny. The "veil of innocence", as I call it, completely shattered. The world isn't beautiful, its hell, its horror.

Its actually when you get older, you understand the stories being told.

The one scene in Lion King hits harder without James Earl Jones on this planet anymore.

Yea man, count me in as shedding the occasional tear due to story drama

Crying is normal. You're a normal dude 👍