this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] Ziglin@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago

My code only gets me one square :(

(Doesn't work)

So if someone says Windows, everybody gets a Bingo somehow?

do i create a new tech alt on some short form content site? or is there an intended way to use the bingo board

[–] spongebue@lemmy.world 113 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I was looking for "buzzword soup website doesn't say what the product fucking does"

Maybe that wouldn't fit in a square

[–] Stovetop@lemmy.world 80 points 1 week ago (5 children)

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[–] spongebue@lemmy.world 41 points 1 week ago

It's so perfectly terrible 🥹

[–] Nikophos@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago

I was scrolling through job postings today and came across one that read like this. I was confused -> clicked the link -> saw a picture of two oil rig workers -> genuinely said "Ah, oil!" out loud -> and closed the web page.

They try to hide behind green washing and jargon. It happened to me at a university career fair a few months ago, too.

[–] QuazarOmega@lemy.lol 9 points 1 week ago

Chat, is this real?

[–] affiliate@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

the only possible way this could be worse was if it was called CloudChain and also had weird blockchain/crypto nonsense.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Oh, that CloudBox...

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 44 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

A game of Bingo requires several players to have different cards. That would be on another card. Other possible entries:

  • Uses recently popular buzzword tech for no reason.
  • Uses an always-on internet connection and multiple server farms to perform a function that ran locally on a Palm V PDA in 1997
  • Isn't legal in the EU
[–] kautau@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

Are you talking about the turbo encabulator, retro encabulator, or hyper encabulator?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXJKdh1KZ0w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nKk_-Lvhzo

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[–] CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world 42 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You completely forgot:
"Actually just monetizes somethign that already existed for free"
Though I guess Ads is already the free space.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

But it's new and better! Just ask our huge team of three programmers and thirty marketing geniuses.

[–] spacecadet@lemm.ee 30 points 1 week ago (9 children)

What apps only work for straight white guys?

[–] arty@feddit.org 1 points 9 hours ago

Anecdotal evidence, but when both my wife and I participate in a VoIP call from the same device, the codec carries my wife's voice much more poorly than mine, and she has to repeat her words way more often. I vaguely remember hearing the same issue in calls with female colleagues.

[–] blackluster117@sh.itjust.works 29 points 1 week ago

Does truth social have an app?

[–] cryptiod137@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago

Not an app, but the Kinect had trouble with people of certain shades

[–] LeFrog@discuss.tchncs.de 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Not really an answer to your question, but worth a read to widen your horizon: It’s a huge problem that most health apps are created by men — here’s how to fix that

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I'm sure there are none, straight white guys are just a favorite villain around here.

I can think of a tech that doesn't work as well on black people though: Pulse oximeters. A pulse oximeter works by shining two wavelengths of light through your finger to measure the amount of oxygen in your blood. It also sees your blood come and go with your pulse, so it can detect your heart rate. Well get this: melanin blocks light. A black man's finger is more opaque than a white man's finger, so optical pulse oximeters have been known to fail to detect hypoxia in dark skinned people. This problem has been known since the 70's, and continues to be a problem to the present day. Because you know what happened recently? A global pandemic of a respiratory disease. Pulse oximeters failed to detect hypoxia in more black patients than white patients, who then weren't given supplemental oxygen. So why in the last 50 years hasn't that been addressed?

[–] CanadaPlus 3 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Dating apps and similar with insufficient moderation come to mind, or even ones that effectively paywall dickpics and harassment instead of removing it.

For gender nonconforming people, lots of forms.

I'm not convinced dating apps work for anyone in any way.

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[–] 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 1 week ago

Nothing comes to mind at the moment but I doubt somebody isn't trying.

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 6 points 1 week ago

Maybe the skin cancer detection app?

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[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago

I would add "people blame programmers and CS majors instead of rich dudes for some reason."

[–] PlexSheep@infosec.pub 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The "bug causes death" thing can be ticked for everything safety critical. Starts with the small electronics in an elevator.

[–] CanadaPlus 2 points 6 days ago

Are they making elevators without mechanical fail-safes now?

[–] Iron_Lynx@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

Getting real SAO Abridged vibes here

[–] goatinspace@feddit.org 7 points 1 week ago
[–] DrunkAnRoot@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago

skynut will 100% be a thing meta makes

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 6 points 1 week ago

[obligatory George Carlin reference]

https://youtu.be/6MVABINRzN4

[–] Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago

This is fucking hilarious

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