I’m not sure I get this one. Anyone mind explaining?
Edit: I hadn’t considered it being from the perspective of a woman. 🤦 There go my inherent biases getting the better of me.
this post was submitted on 22 Nov 2025
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SSRI are a class of antidepressants that can hinder your ability to orgasm.
But since the person writing the comment is probably female and straight she's used to not having an orgasm while having sex.
Ah! I hadn’t considered it being from the perspective of a woman. 🤦 There go my inherent biases getting the better of me.
I’m a straight woman and I didn’t get it either, thanks for asking.
I'm also a straight woman and didn't know what an ssri was, so I didn't get the joke either
Which is the case, because traditional penetrative sex (penis in vagina) does not stimulate the woman particularly much. They're more stimulated by the clitoris, where oral sex works well.
Well, and because penetrative sex does stimulate men quite a bit, so they orgasm early on and then often don't continue stimulating the woman.
Which is the case, because traditional penetrative sex (penis in vagina) does not stimulate the woman particularly much.
I think that's a waaay to broad claim to hold true for all vagina-havers.
AFAIK, it's an anatomical predisposition. Some get more stimulation from penetrative sex(I think because the clitoris "wings" are more snug with the vagina), others get less.
Well, sure, I wasn't trying to claim that for all vagina-havers, just enough of a majority that this stereotype that OP alluded to exists.
But yeah, it is what I've heard. I haven't conducted a representative survey...
The position used for sex can also change this wildly, so if you have problems getting to orgasm, try changing styles.
The second part of that turned out to be more true for me. Older guys have more stamina (have trouble getting off) and I found out this is not a 'two kinds of women' thing. I can and do get off from the more indirect stimulation, it just never happened with my ex because he was quick (he did always take care of me first, not complaining) but now I am older this changed.
Straight women often have unfulfilling sex lives, because their male partners are often unable or unwilling to help them achieve orgasms.
And maybe a little bit of society conditions men to go out and get what they want but tends to condition women to wait for it, to not be direct with it, or that their needs are less important. There’s all sorts of things we can all do better.
men can't give women orgasms (if I'm interpreting OP correctly)
Great. Now you're both depressed.
Why are there microplastics in the background
Because they're everywhere.
can confirm, have microplastics in my balls
Me too! Microplastic ball brothers, unite!
*we put our hands on our hips and slam our balls together *
Well yeah. That's where they're stored.
I've never understood this.
From the dude's perspective: it REALLY isn't that fucking hard in most cases. Some women are really tricky but the vast majority arent.
From the woman's perspective: why stay with someone who can't get you off? Anyone who is incapable or unwilling to learn how to give their partner an orgasm is probably a really shitty parter in most other areas as well.
Orgasms work differently for us, both compared to men and compared to each other. It’s not all about a partner’s skill. Each of us is built a little differently.
Personally, my brain needs to be engaged in it for me to “get there.” Orgasms don’t “just happen” - they have to be deliberate. I have to concentrate on the sensations, which is hard because my mind tends to wander. Add on the social pressure of a partner expecting an orgasm out of me, and I can wind up turned off entirely just by that.
I orgasm fine by myself. If I just want an orgasm, I can masturbate. For me, sex is for mutual fun, pleasure, and bonding with another person, regardless of whether someone comes or not. So when a partner stakes their pride on making me orgasm instead of just on making me feel good, I become concerned about their hurt feelings if I can’t get there. It therefore distracts me further, making the likelihood of an orgasm even lower.
Which is a way to say, it’s best for some of us if our partners focus on the journey, not the destination. We may arrive in the end, but it shouldn’t be the end all, be all.
It’s also worth noting that sometimes orgasms simply aren’t going to happen. Hormones, stress, and physical discomfort can mean being unable to come, and those aren’t necessarily things a partner can control, no matter how “good in bed” they are.
Im the exact same way and I've got a dick so I understand.
It isn't hard to get a woman off. I never said it's a matter of skill.
You touch on a lot of important underlying things in your comment.
Like. Maybe it's just because I'm able to empathize with the big finish not really being the end all be all of sex. Or maybe it's that I take to the time to try and understand what my partner wants and to make them feel safe (because I need that too) .
Nothing kills the mood faster than having the weight of someone's expectations hanging over you finishing, or worse yet their self esteem tied up in the (in)ability to make it happen.
It’s wild how many people don’t understand these things.
You sound like a good, understanding partner. Whoever you get to spend time with is lucky to have you. :)
It is wild.
I'm poly leaning (ambi amorous is a term I learned recently that fits me pretty well) so I get to hear a lot from women about what it's like in the front lines, so to speak.
Like. The bar is so fucking low. In so many ways. And nothing women want is onerous or in most cases difficult. At all. Women talk constantly about everything you need to be successful in dating and men seem to just look around like "what are those sounds"?
The most difficult part of dating for a straight guy is showing your partner you're not totally full of shit. I say showing because women have been lied to and manipulated by so many fucking people that they rightly don't trust a fucking word you say. I wouldn't either tbh.
Oh man, I could rant all day about that because it recently resulted in me becoming homeless, but I’ll hold back. Long story short, poor communication > break up/moving out > nowhere to live > crashing on my girlfriend’s couch (we’re poly too. She’s married, with a one bedroom apartment, in a high cost of living area. There’s almost nowhere I can afford by myself.)
Communicating is so important, and you’re right - it’s even more important to show your love through what you do. Actions speak louder than words, after all. Anyone can make a promise, but someone who will follow through is a rarity.
(My ex knows my Lemmy account name, but I don’t care. If you’re reading this - I want my external harddrives back!)
Yeah you dick, give her back her fucking external hard drives.
I've been with women who couldn't get themselves off and it wasn't easy to get them there when I did it.
"In most cases"
To me the even more obvious response to the quoted bit is 'you know it affects your ability to orgasm from masturbation too, right?'
If it isn't that fucking hard might be part of the problem
Feels a bit /c/thathappened
Did the nurse clap and hand her a 100 dollar bill too?
I mean most responses would be inappropriate for a doctor, does she expect her doctor to say 'well you haven't been with me yet 😜'. He probably just went silent rather than SILENT
The doctor would likely mention that it would apply to masturbation also, lol
I dunno I've had not dissimilar moments with doctors.
Witty reply met with freeze response. Have you never said anything witty? This is like the main thing that happens.
I have this side effect with my SSRI. When I told my doctor about this, they told me "well, you find other ways and your partner can help you".
Since then I always tell my partners first. For some it took time to not take it personally. On the other hand they were sooo happy when it worked.
I (M) had the same with one that worked well in all ways except for that side effect. But I was still new into getting onto an SSRI so I hadn't exhausted all the different kinds/brands yet. We moved onto a different one and we got rid of the side effect. I get that not everyone might be as fortunate though.
I have two brands – both generica – to choose from. Both have the same side effect.
But not using the medication and feeling worse … it's just not worth it.
It was probably 20 years ago but almost all of them had that effect on me. Took like 2 weeks after ending meds for that effect to go away.
Not very many professional responses to that one
That's sad. She should find a partner that is copacetic with her sexually, and if not she may just have difficulties. If that is the case she should see what DOES work for her and have a conversation about it so she can get off. If she can't have that conversation, that's not a relationship to stick with anyway. This post makes me :(
What your doctor will not tell you is that for some people this side effect never goes away. Even after they stop taking the medication.
Fuck SSRIs.
Oh, and Ladies first is a principle that's served me well, in bed and elsewhere.
In my experience, that is definitely something the doctor tells you. And it is on the paper with all possible side effects.
Fuck SSRIs
I'm sorry if you've had bad experiences. But honestly, many people are very grateful they exist
If I had known the risk in 2004, I would have never taken Citalopram. It's good to see that manufacturers have been adding the info to their leaflets (however obliquely it may be worded) following a 2019 recommendation by EMA.
But that's not helping anyone affected by PSSD and honestly, with plenty of other options being available, the medication is just too unsafe to be sold at this point, IMHO.
My SSRI has not had that effect, here's your F for respects
That IS amusing :p
I prescribe a dragon dildo.