this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2026
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[–] einfach_orangensaft@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

thats not a lot of storage space....strech em out a bit more and they they may can fit a radio set and a powerbank too

[–] kerrigan778@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 24 minutes ago* (last edited 11 minutes ago)

For a 1960s powerbank and radio you're gonna need a real elastic anus.

(Brand new sentence right there)

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 4 points 3 hours ago

50/50 whether they put this is a dog or a person

[–] OmegaMouse@pawb.social 14 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

Does it come with CIA branded lube?

[–] ThunderQueen@lemmy.world 7 points 2 hours ago

I mean, unironically this, among other projects, did probably necessitate that the military develop or at least test and commission different personal lubes.

[–] Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 3 hours ago

A true patriot doesn't need lube

[–] kivihiili@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 6 hours ago

is that plastic body safe?

[–] aeiou@piefed.social 18 points 8 hours ago

Sometimes I see these and I wonder if someone there is just having a laugh.

haha they'll totally believe we gave people butt knives

[–] cypherpunks@lemmy.ml 10 points 8 hours ago (1 children)
[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 3 points 1 hour ago

This fucking awesome ass-lock pick really came in handy!

[–] Toneswirly@beehaw.org 5 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

But like, how do you get it back out?

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 5 points 5 hours ago

Or what if you have bad gas? You could kill someone with you ass cannon.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 6 hours ago

The extraction process is the real pita.

[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 65 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Shoving a palm sized capsule up my ass for the motherland 🫡🇺🇸

[–] truthfultemporarily@feddit.org 47 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

They probably conducted a study to find maximum tolerable size.

[–] CameronDev@programming.dev 45 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

And then went 10% larger, because true patriots can take it all.

[–] nightshade@piefed.social 29 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

That's what all the training is for.

[–] wizzor@sopuli.xyz 5 points 6 hours ago

No pain no gain.

[–] luciole@beehaw.org 1 points 7 hours ago

ain't training if it ain't stretching

[–] edinbruh@feddit.it 6 points 12 hours ago

I'm sure it would be bigger than that...

[–] trk@aussie.zone 12 points 12 hours ago

Or just for fun!

[–] Sv443@sh.itjust.works 13 points 9 hours ago

Now where did I put my lipstick again? Right..

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Does it not need a flared base?

[–] Sv443@sh.itjust.works 23 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I'm assuming you'd want it to stay hidden even when getting a cavity search. Double rounded tip means it's only a matter of time before it will leave on its own.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 6 hours ago

Hopefully...

[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 49 points 12 hours ago
[–] wizzor@sopuli.xyz 68 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

You can't just post something like this without including a purchase link!

[–] Maxxie@piefed.blahaj.zone 25 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Didn't know I was training to be a CIA agent 🤔

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 7 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

We're going to need a lot of firepower. send in Secewet Agent Owo

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 2 points 1 hour ago

Now I'm imagining an e girl furry fetish onlyfans content creator coming out and blasting lasers out her but. So thanks for that.

[–] DenimFootpath@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I tried to swipe to the next image for longer then I’d like to admit

[–] Ghostie@lemmy.zip 10 points 11 hours ago

I tapped the arrow on the right. I’m a fool.