I'm going to transform this text into a great trivia question for this week.
this post was submitted on 16 May 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Slop posts go in c/slop. Don't post low-hanging fruit here.
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What are we even doing here lmfaooo
"Sealions on the other side of the planet are sometimes mean, that is why my client needed to bash this one with a rock bigger than your head. Your honor."
It's even worse than that. "Sea lions on the other side of the planet are sometimes mean, so I will attack a Hawaiian monk seal, which isn't even a sea lion."
Anyways he deserves to die from asphyxiation by having a monk seal shove him up its nose.
anti pinniped rhetoric
I thought the sentence would go "anti-pinniped rhetoric from cetacean supremacists"
Seriously the seal was there first. Especially before dumbass NIMBY white people showed up.
Damn, that's an old seal.
"If you've ever been to Seattle..."
fucking hipsters
I had to double-check to see if this was the Onion.
Ah but ya see, everything is The Onion. So nothing is The Onion.
onioncels absolutely julienned
onioncels absolutely julienned
CARAMELIZE THEM! CARAMELIZE THEM!
Truly, it is the only way. Make everything browner, I say.
We live in an onionpunk dystopia.
Wait I thought the person who attacked the seal was a dude. Is the woman pictured his lawyer?
No she's the anti sealion extremist politician I think its sealions? Either way she's obsessed with culling the population of some pinniped and using that word talks of the menace.
Huh. That's crazy specific for a platform, but I guess it works, for some reason.
Marie Gluesenkamp Perez is genuinely obsessed with the subject. Otherwise she's apparently a fairly standard blue dog.
she's the anti sealion extremist politician
what the fuck
Anti-nautilists will never have the same influence as pinniped haters.
Throwing rocks and provoking the wild animals I think are very aggressive
Seattle man is angry that sea mammals keep JAQing off.