this post was submitted on 17 May 2026
22 points (67.2% liked)

Ask Lemmy

39597 readers
1531 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 40 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ThunderQueen@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago

Ive been a trans lesbian for 5 years now. Its great. Im technically pan but i dont really hook up with guys.. women are just so 🀌🀀

[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 5 points 2 hours ago
[–] GarboDog@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

Yeah- if women love other women you’d typically call that lesbian coded.

[–] ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com 4 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

Sex, gender, expression, and orientation are separate dimensions and can vary independently. While there is coupling and correlation, they are distinct

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (2 children)

"lesbian" inherently couples gender identity and sexual preference, no? Language and identity are certainly malleable, but it would be news to me than "lesbian" got the "gay" treatment (where the meaning did change from "homosexual man" to "homosexual or bisexual", depending on the social circle).

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 1 points 52 minutes ago* (last edited 50 minutes ago)

And even within that, T4T is a common preference categorization as well, whether it's for inherent attraction or just practical reasons. There are terms that prefer solely to the target gender so for instance I'm androphilic (vs gynophilic) mostly in my romantic aspect. I don't mind both sexually, I've just found women's personalities to be difficult to deal with / have difficulty dealing with me romantically (practical preference). Now, gender wise I'm roughly here:

♀️<----------|Γ—--------->♂️

And my visual preference for a partner is about

♀️<------|---|------|---->♂️

And my personality preference is about

♀️<---------||---|------>♂️

so really CAN I be gay? Especially if I was right on the line there. I will say hubs seems to prefer roughly:

♀️<--|-------|-----|---->♂️

which is pretty neatly bisexual.

[–] ThunderQueen@lemmy.world 1 points 59 minutes ago (1 children)

A trans woman is a woman. If they are attracted to women, they are a lesbian. Regardless of whether or not they are trans.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 1 points 57 minutes ago* (last edited 55 minutes ago)
[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 113 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Yes, women can be lesbians.

[–] Klear@piefed.world 25 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 12 points 5 hours ago

Or full-time, or even both

[–] chocrates@piefed.world 29 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Trans is their sexual identity and lesbian is their sexual preference. They are not mutually exclusive.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 6 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

Pretty sure their sexual (or gender) identity is "woman". The trans thing is usually more a stumbling block than an identity.

[–] chocrates@piefed.world 2 points 1 hour ago

Yes you are right

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 50 points 9 hours ago (3 children)

Yup.

Cisgender woman here, I've had two trans girlfriends in the past. They were definitely 100% women ... I checked very very thoroughly.

[–] kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 44 minutes ago

Ah, but were they lesbians? Did you make sure they weren't bi or pan?

[–] ccunning@lemmy.world 44 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Wait.

Are you saying cisgender women can be lesbians too?

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 30 points 8 hours ago

Yes, these days that's allowed too - we're living in the future, after all!

[–] venusaur@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 4 hours ago

Their lesbian license, obviously

[–] Forgottengoldfish@lemmy.world 58 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Karl@literature.cafe 20 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] BucketBong@p.hobo.social 18 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

We can close the post now.

[–] Karl@literature.cafe 6 points 8 hours ago
[–] ada@piefed.blahaj.zone 38 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

About a third of all trans women are as a matter of fact

[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 16 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

About 2/3 of Lemmy as well /s

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 15 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

That's just blahaj.zone .

[–] Karl@literature.cafe 7 points 9 hours ago

Thats interesting.

[–] Noel_Skum@sh.itjust.works 19 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

If born on the island of Lesbos then, yes, definitely… if born somewhere else then the answer to this question might depend on where you get your definition of words.

Love is love, whatever, but sometimes labels can do damage.

[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca 38 points 8 hours ago

Otherwise it's just sparkling homosexuality

[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 5 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

Woman*

~*lesbian_style~

That's a bit cumbersome, isn't it? I'm fine with "lesbian woman", no matter where they're from πŸ’–

Oh my, I'm having a hard time setting the markdown right...

[–] nightmare786@leminal.space 9 points 8 hours ago

they call it a transbian

[–] queerlilhayseed@piefed.blahaj.zone 8 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] ThunderQueen@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago

Usually with my tongue or fingers. Or hers.

[–] thechosen2nd@piefed.social 5 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

The Ancient Pact of the Covenant allows it.

[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 2 points 6 hours ago

On the blood of our fathers. On the blood of our sons...