Must be so hard write comedy these days. Half the time you come up with something hilarious and someone will tell you that actually happend in real life 2 weeks ago.
this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2026
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Now instead of Simpsons Did It, or South Park Did It..
It's now MAGA Did It
Okay the article is too much.
GOP candidate struggles to burn rainbow flag on top of U-Haul truck while screaming at 2 people
“It’s white boy summer!” the 30-year-old man yelled to his cameraman and some guy banging a small gong.
Jake Lang — a racist Republican candidate for Florida’s U.S. Senate seat who was jailed for allegedly assaulting Capitol Police officers during the January 6, 2021, riots — struggled to set two Pride flags on fire outside of the Delaney ICE facility in Newark, New Jersey, yesterday afternoon while yelling, “Happy Pride Month, fa**ots,” to his cameraman and one other supporter holding a gong on the sidewalk.
Lang stood on top of a U-Haul and yelled, “We will not allow this degeneracy!” as he ignited an intersex-inclusive Pride flag. The wind quickly extinguished the flames before they could seriously harm the flag.
He then struggled to re-light the flag, dousing it in lighter fluid before yelling, “These people need to go. We will overcome the homosexual agenda to destroy our children.” Meanwhile, he continued struggling to re-ignite the flag as his lighter repeatedly failed to produce a flame.
Upon finally reigniting the flag, he yelled, “Happy Pride Month, fa**ots,” as the wind quickly extinguished the flames once again.
“Get out of our country!” he yelled, holding the unlit flag. “This is a Christian country!” He soon threw away the unlit flag and unwrapped a basic rainbow Pride flag and unfurled it in the wind. Someone then laughed at him.
“Get these homos out!” he continued. “They’re the ones bringing in all the migrants!” He re-lit the flag before the wind quickly extinguished its flames once more.
Throwing the flag towards the sidewalk, he yelled, “Here you go, fa**ots — happy Pride Month!” But the video showed only two people on the sidewalk: his cameraman and one other individual (holding a handheld gong) running alongside the truck.
Lang then yelled, “Make America great again!” triumphantly raising his arms while standing on top of a U-Haul truck that costs about $30 a day to rent. Someone off-camera yelled, “F**k you,” in response.
He unfurled a banner off the back of the truck that said, “Save America. Deport 100+ Million.” He then jumped off the front of the truck and yelled into the camera, “America, we are so f**king back!” while a long-haired white man in a black bowler hat repeatedly banged a small hand-held gong.
Lang entered the cabin of the truck and used a megaphone to say, >“Traitors of the Deep State will see the gallows. You will hang traitors. Our country is worth fighting for. We will stand united. This is a Christian country. They have stolen the rainbow from God, and we’re here to take it back. It’s white boy summer!”
Lang is 30 years old.
He’s like a fascist MAGA furby.
...Why does it read like an Eric Andre skit...?
This reads like a comedy bit. Our most brilliant minds couldn't come up with this level of incompetence.
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Traitors of the Deep State will see the gallows. You will hang traitors. Our country is worth fighting for. We will stand united. This is a Christian country. They have stolen the rainbow from God, and we’re here to take it back.
So first of all, they've stopped pretending that the "deep state" is something they're concerned about or fighting, but rather something they're actively attempting to establish.
Second of all, stealing the rainbow from God is so unfathomably badass. We're in our Prometheus era now.
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We will overcome the homosexual agenda to destroy our children.
Hi, heterosexual white male here. I too want to destroy your chances of having children. If you already have children, I want to take them away from you, and put them in the hands of a gay couple wanting to adopt.
Just to be clear, that quote is from Jake Lang, and thus that's who I'm directing my comments towards.
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I wonder if U-Haul will give him their usual extreme bill for damage to the vehicle he inevitably did by walking on it ?
I wish there was video of this from 50 feet away to just show how ridiculously embarrassing it is.
This is a grown ass man too
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Based wind.
The elements are woke!
Also, Jake Lang is a loser. I can't believe he's still wearing that fake-ass flak jacket without the sappies.
“Save America. Deport 100+ Million.”
Important to note that this is ~1/3 of the US population, while ~90% of the US population are American citizens, 85% of the population natural-born citizens.
People calling for massive deportations like this are absolutely calling for 'deporting' natural born US citizens.
Horrible fact: the number they call for almost exactly matches the number of nonwhite people in the US, including indigenous peoples.
This is literally calling for an ethnostate, and should be treated that way.
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I'm weird, this is a whole other thing.
It's sad.
Like we have a subset of the population that's been conditioned, hoodwinked, or otherwise convinced into vehemently hating people at the behest of the epstien-class.
And there is literally no simply solution to this problem.
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They are so fucking weird.
And closeted.
And also pedophiles, or pedo protectors.
are those these self proclaimed "alphas"? seem more like teenage rowdies with too much self hate.
What a fruit cake.
Yeah, I'm taking that one back. This guy is a fuckin dandelion.
But dandelions make delicious jelly that tastes like honey.
Let’s make him something worse. Giant hogweed - invasive species that gives you skin burns and possible blindness if you end up touching your eyes with the oils. Seems suitable?
Yeah, let's also keep calling them chuds
Stinging bush, just one touch and you have to deal with the pain for years.
Dandelions are at least pretty to look at.
This guy looks like a fart.
Nah, that won't work. You're in our headspace, saying something objectionable to us. You need to use words that are objectionable in their social constructs. That's why weird cut them.
Dandelion is also very tasty!
The poor projecting bastard - so sad that he can't look in the mirror, see that haircut and those shorts and not be honest and open with his own self about absolutely loving cock.
Its just something guys do together in locker rooms. Its not gay.
Why doesn't he know how to wear a plate carrier?
I caught that too. "Flarper, noun. Fascist larper"
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What a sad, strange little man.
Flag burning is okay again? Or just for them?
Just for them. Everything is just for them. We’ve at least learned that one thing by now, haven’t we?
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weird indeed
lmfao at the fact that no one seems to like this guy
10 people on his protest's side, 100 counter-protesters
He's a gay comic right?? He barely burns two pride flags, polyester 😂. He's a spitting image of Nick Fuentes too.
If he's trying this hard to show he's not gay....
The fuck
wait this isn’t parody?
Video is funny: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJnKRufUwOM
Edit: Also, he bought a lot of pride flags from China.
Edit 2: Wait, the driver is a guy? I thought he said, "Stop babe" in the beginning? Maybe Dave? Proceeds to have trouble getting into the UHaul hurridly. Also, what is the driver screaming about Trump? This is very funny.
So the gong guy isn’t with him. After his hamster assistant drives him off, gong guy says, “I wish he’d use his powers for good, but. Whatever.”
Also his voice is like one of the monster muppets - way back in the throat and performatively gurgly.
That guy is such a flaming closeted man that he set the flag on fire by mere contact
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