this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

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-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

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-Do not Brigade other Communities

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


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All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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[–] sunsofold@lemmy.zip 6 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Why have you stopped taking your meds?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 hours ago

I have transcended my meds.

I AM OPTIMIZED

[–] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 6 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

what kind of keyboard do you use?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 hours ago

Keychron K5 SE (low profile) with mint switches (65g actuation force)

[–] Klear@piefed.world 6 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

What is the most optimal question to ask you?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 4 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

"Are you fully optimized?"

[–] Klear@piefed.world 6 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 5 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 3 points 9 hours ago

To the Optimization Ball.

[–] mech@feddit.org 19 points 15 hours ago

"AMA and receive thoughtless one-liner answers"
Good thread, OP. I fully optimized your mom last night.

[–] Bohne93@feddit.org 4 points 11 hours ago (2 children)
[–] LuigiMaoFrance@lemmy.ml 4 points 8 hours ago

RE-OPTIMIZED

[–] Chaf@slrpnk.net 3 points 8 hours ago

It's Erik with a K, goddamnit!

[–] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 8 points 11 hours ago

That's for functional. If you want to test optimized, can you run Crysis?

[–] lime@feddit.nu 16 points 16 hours ago (2 children)
[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 15 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] lime@feddit.nu 7 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

just better at everything?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 20 points 15 hours ago (9 children)

I'm not better at any particular thing. I've transcended being better at particular things. I am simply optimized, to the most absolute and radical degree.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 16 hours ago

Not answering quickly it seems.

[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world 5 points 13 hours ago

You're already OP in this thread.

What follows is that your are timized

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 13 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

But are you fully functional?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 14 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

I've transcended functionality.

[–] Miller@lemmy.world 25 points 16 hours ago

You're a manager?

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[–] dgdft@lemmy.world 3 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

What’s your peptide stack, and how many times a day do you cold plunge + sauna?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 4 points 10 hours ago

peptide stack

Skunk resin

how many times a day do you cold plunge + sauna?

I bathe in coffee & ginseng every morning

[–] subOrange@lemmy.world 10 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

What’s your morning routine?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 25 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

While I'm still asleep an AI-generated orchestra radiates subsonic symphonic movements into my cerebral cortex. I awaken when the symphony reaches a crescendo. I take a coffee-ginseng bath while smart contact lenses display the latest economic data. I don't use the data for anything because that would degrade the quality of the data as it rewires my brain. Then my muscles are electrically stimulated in my electro-gym machine (a repurposed tanning bed designed by Japanese drug lords). Then my blood vessels are cleansed in a zero-G centrifuge laboratory (blood pumped out and replaced with a cleansing saline solution while the blood is filtered of all impurities and finally returned to my body). Then it's three hours of wall-climbing while screaming at the top of my lungs.

[–] 0ops@piefed.zip 6 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

This is lyrics to a King Missile song, right?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 7 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

My evening routine consists largely in cleaning my detachable penis and running it through a series of unit tests.

[–] InfiniteStruggle@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Tell me more about this detachable penis of yours. Where would one... acquire such a tool?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 1 points 10 hours ago

If you already have one, simply detach it. If you don't have one, simply find a male and ask him to attach his penis to your vagina.

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[–] Una@europe.pub 6 points 14 hours ago (1 children)
[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 7 points 14 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Una@europe.pub 2 points 11 hours ago
[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 5 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

26C FA582CC113 9063BB? A165? 3DA76 B2B2, 767A1A?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 15 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Ah yes, the Fibonacci sequence. Classic.

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 10 points 13 hours ago

Dear god, you really are fully optimized!

[–] silver@das-eck.haus 5 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Does this make you the ultimate optimist

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 4 points 13 hours ago
[–] etchinghillside@reddthat.com 6 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Why did you oil bukkake the pillow guy?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 9 points 15 hours ago

It's just part of the optimization process.

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