this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2026
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Slop.

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[CW: sexual assault]

Yes this is a real movie. You can watch it on Apple TV this Friday June 19th. It might become the worst movie ever made. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt35309713/

I included the cast list because it is telling. The characters include women without names, evil Muslims, and "badass" police officers. And I can't figure out of the last guy is playing a judge whose last name happens to be Reinhold or if he's playing the actor whose name is Judge Reinhold.

Armie Hammer cannibal accusations: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armie_Hammer#Abuse_allegations

BTW, Armie's great grandfather Julius was a leader in the Socialist Labor Party of America, which helped co-found Communist Party USA. Julius literally helped smuggle contraband into the USSR to aid Lenin. Armie's grandfather Armand also lived in the USSR for a few years during the New Economic Policy and negotiated directly with Lenin's government. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armand_Hammer#Career

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Armie Hammer, the heir to the Arm & Hammer fortune, who is a real-life cannibal.

Pychon suffered brain damage and is scripting our reality

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 30 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I thought Uwe Boll died in a grease fire back in 2019

Huh

Wish he did

[–] BobDole@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago

Last week I asked someone what he had been up to recently. Wish I didn’t know

[–] SevenSkalls@hexbear.net 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How does Uwe Boll still get money to make movies?

[–] huf@hexbear.net 18 points 1 day ago

maybe it's part of germany's rearmament strategy because they consider his movies weapons.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 17 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I wonder if this film passes the Bechdel test

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 17 points 1 day ago

Oh my god Armie Hammer. Brings me back to a horrible "struggle session" (it was like a couple persons who obviously have a crush on him and/or Armie himself) saying anti-cannibalism is chauvinist because there are cultures in South Asia and Pacific islands that ritualistically consume their loved ones post-mortem as a way of honoring their deceased. Which is exactly what Armie Hammer has, and definitely not a sexual fetish.

It was perhaps the dumbest twitter struggle session of that week.

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Getting a Slav to play the Arabic mob boss, classic. Also, apparently said Slav is directing Steven Seagal’s upcoming return to “acting.”

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Movie announcer voice....

"Steven Seagal. Is. Back. in Order of the Dragon: a truly explosive action-packed geezer teaser. Watch him perform a kick, get winded, and be on screen for a few more minutes."

---

Ninja edit.

I had a look at the cast...

"Bro, sit the fuck down. I gotta fix it. You can't out in public with that shade of red on your cheeks."

Commander Rouge

[–] ZWQbpkzl@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago

Those credits really tell it all.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago

And I can't figure out of the last guy is playing a judge whose last name happens to be Reinhold or if he's playing the actor whose name is Judge Reinhold.

"Mercy is for the weak."

"Who said that? Judge Dredd?"

"No. Judge Reinhold."

Judge Reinhold should have been in a Judge Dredd movie as a character named Judge Reinhold. Or at least have gotten a name drop.