askchapo

they get shot with a gun by a white man in the middle of trying to blame gun violence on minorities. their spouse doesn't even try to hide the fact that they are using the death for personal gain. also gets uncomfortably close to a guy who fucks couches. despite the best efforts of the worst people to make them a martyr, their only lasting impact on the world is ai-generated faceswap shitposts and their name becomes a brainrot term for children who will never know who they were. i don't think it's possible to come up with a funnier death than that.

Make every one of them state on camera the time and date of the next one to die.

Bill Clinton; confesses all his crimes live on tv then drinks hemlock out of his saxophone

Give a bunch of world leaders auto erotic asphyxiation and see how the various news report it

what are the rules?

musk should die in a tesla fire caused by a space x failure. bezos should crash his rocket in the amazon. bill gates should have a window fall on him and then die of a vaccine preventable infection.

"Died trying to suck own penis in public" would be hilarious probably the first 1000 times

All tech CEO'S keep going about their day as normal with the one exception that they're shitting their pants the whole time, until they all die of dehydration

Davos mass shooting

Names of all corporate executives.

Cause of death:

If you got access to tax information, you could make every billionaire shit themselves to death

Neil Breen Fateful Findings ending word for word, scene for scene for Zuckerberg, Musk, Gates etc

Everyone else just pisses and shits themselves til they die

Death by

Write someone's name, 99 years and "From old age".

All billionaires names, Death by submarine implosion, but each one in their own separate private submersible.

Imagine every reactionary official going outside at noon and staring directly into the sun until they drown in their own spit, in a wave sweeping across the globe over the course of a day.

Alternately, exsanguination through pissing so hard and so long that all their blood comes out after they run out of piss. While onstage at a press conference confessing to every crime they ever committed.

I use the note to make you and me kiss and live a long and happy life

Recreating some slop detective writing, csi or whatever

Bonus Eruptus