this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2026
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​Has anyone here ever abruptly ended a personal relationship with someone or even an entire group of friends, simply because you found their behavior or way of being distasteful?

​I'm not talking about a massive dramatic argument, but rather a sudden realization that their attitude or actions were just entirely... "off putting"... or that they revealed something fundamental about who they are

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[–] Snort_Owl@hexbear.net 16 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Yeah, after years of back and forth drama I just realised one morning I can’t be fucked with it anymore. I stopped messaging them and they simply never spoke to me again. Actually happened with a few people during my era of very bad mental health, I guess some people only replied out of obligation.

Ironically my mental health improved drastically after they were gone.

[–] Creat@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 1 day ago

A school friend of mine that I usually visit when I'm visiting my parents said at the height of Corona that he isn't and wouldn't vaccinate himself. He also didn't bother with quick tests (properly).

Haven't talked to him since. There are people in my life that can't (or at the time couldn't) get vaccinated, but to whom it's life threatening. There is no discussion after this. There is no point.

Side note: his father is a doctor (general practitioner I think it's the English term).

[–] Letztertod@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago

Many, mostly after Palestinian genocide was put into fifth gear in 2023. I left like half a decade long friends because nothing matters more now, if I can't fight for liberation, if I can't do industrial sabotage, I can at least say that there are consequences to siding with genocide

[–] someone@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago

Well into adulthood, I told a lifelong childhood friend about my sister's engagement to a single dad of a middle-school girl. The friend asked if the girl was hot.

[–] Graphite2@hexbear.net 20 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Maybe this is more of a slow burn but one night I had this realization that one of my best friends, who I consider a brother even today, changed for the worse. He was always someone who liked to understand multiple perspectives on any given topic, it was one of the few major ideals we shared and bonded over. The realization was that he eventually just did not give any form of love or consideration for my own perspective on anything, anymore. It felt like he grew resentment over something I had no knowledge or control over. He didn't even have the tiniest bit of courage to tell me anything.

I had enough when he was discussing Israel and Palestine with a mutual friend. It was nothing about suffering, conflict, death, what actions we may take, or even a simple condemnation. He had no sympathy for Palestinians. Nah, he only wanted to talk about how performative it was that people care and extended that to every single "culture war" topic. He didn't care about anything. He only wanted to criticize.

I've never felt the distinction between "political" and "personal" hypocrisy be full of contrast, yet turn out to be one in the same here.

I still cry thinking about this. I hate it.

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 15 points 1 day ago

Yeah, a friend mentioned that "Jews control Hollywood" I told them that's Nazi bullshit and they haven't spoken to me since.

[–] axont@hexbear.net 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I did cut off a long time childhood friend after a sudden realization that his entire personality was elaborate peacocking and he hadn't matured since 8th grade. We never really argued or anytbing, but I had always thought maybe he was oddly committed to stuff he had only learned about the previous week. I've seen him change religion more than 10 times. He's also been outspoken about multiple contradictory political beliefs.

I don't mean peacocking like his style of clothes was extravagant, rather, he would always try to seem and sound impressive or interesting. But just insofar as what he thought would get emotionally naive young women to sleep with him. Like he kept going to our college for years after he dropped out, just to hang where students would congregate. He'd bring an acoustic guitar, try to make idle conversation with women, then throw in whatever persona he had adopted that month, like "Oh I'm actually a recent convert to reform Judaism and I'm really interested in particle physics." One time he claimed to be following bushido and would carry around a samurai sword (resulting in an instance where he was banned from Starbucks for a year).

His behavior never really clicked for me because I'm naive and I wasn't aware I was asexual, so I didn't clock that all he truly cared about was meeting college aged women to sleep with. But about a year ago I got on a routine discord call with him and some other folks just to catch up, since none of us live nearby anymore. And my guy had a big announcement that he was converting back to Catholicism.

He had literally just gone on a Buddhist pilgrimage to some special island in Japan not three months prior. He had a Buddhist wedding. Oh yeah I forgot to say he's married, but he still does the same thing of trying to seem interesting to specifically naive college aged women. That always seemed like his target, was a 19 year old girl who came from a religious upbringing in the south who had never heard of... Zoroastrianism or whatever other obsession he had that month.

So when he said he was becoming Catholic again, I guess that's when it hit me somehow. He only ever cared about getting laid and that kinda put in question why he ever even hung out with me. Not like in that he wanted to sleep with me, I wasn't his type, but like how he'd suddenly abandon me when a pretty lady appeared.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

That kind of long term inauthenticity scares the shit out of me, because I imagine the longer it goes on the more sunk costs compel you to keep doing it until you're encased forever in the amber of your own immaturity.

[–] axont@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago

This guy is already past 40 so I don't even know how he'd change for the better at this point

[–] BioWarfarePosadist@hexbear.net 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yes. A high school/college friend of mine. I stopped hanging out with him when I became aware of all the nonconsensual unethical polyamory he was doing.

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

nonconsensual unethical polyamory

Cheating on a partner who thinks the relationship is monogamous?

Yes, but with like 4 women at once.

[–] BilduEnjoyer@hexbear.net 16 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Yeah I walked away from a situation ship after the guy stooped to personal jabs at my expense during an argument. That and they kept trying to start a fight after I repeatedly tried to cool the conversation.

My family did that to me- and I don't talk to them either.

[–] BilduEnjoyer@hexbear.net 12 points 1 day ago

Oh, and I left a group of friends once I realized there was a queen bee and a group of people there to manage her emotions. If someone stepped out of line, the whole group would stomp them in. I walked away. Fuuuck that.

[–] PraiseCorn@hexbear.net 16 points 1 day ago

My "friend" who i tolerated for way too long that hung out with chud freeze-gamer flat out said in a call with me and his chud friends he was gonna vote for Trump in 24. I ghosted him from then on and when he had the gall to dm me on discord randomly being all quirk chungus bro gamer meme speak I fucking blocked his ass on everything. I talked to my therapist like yea probably a massive crypto nazi chud but I genuinely at the time had no one else to play games with and I knew him since middle school but she rightfully told me to block his ass which I did about a year too late. Fucking piece of shit. I know better now too absolutely fuck off from relationships if they are performative selective allies or crypto nazis. Recently my best friend was all wishy washy on charlie-kirk getting capped like ohh I know he was an asshole but personally as a cishet white man I feel no one should be killed for what they believe. smug-explain while I wasnt even necessarily saying he deserved (to his face) I just said he had it coming and he was all disappointed. On top of that I made a half joke half serious about me being an SW as a trans person and he literally was all shocked and lowkey said some awful shit about SWs being gross and then I being kinda mad, said easy for you to say as a cishet white man, which in my defense is just statistically reflective of trans people being forced into SW out of precarity more than cishet men. But he was super pissed so I kinda just backed off. Idk, our relationship is kinda on the ropes ngl. Christian conservative bff Arc 2028 coming up soon??? agony-consuming

[–] Poophammer@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

A childhood friend of mine has always been problematic. He was the quintessential "hot couch" guy.

I've helped him stay out of juvie, when he didnt have internet at his house, because poor, I bought him PS2 games to keep him occupied.

He treated his girlfriends like shit and he bad mouthed every friend he had behind their back. Always lying about everything, the one I remember lately that he was in a drive by shooting and almost died. Or the time he hooked up with a girl in a community college fitness class, while it was in session.

He has never really been a good friend to me, but I've known him forever so I didn't want to drop him so easily.

A girl he had been dating on and off for almost two decades found out he had playing her the entire time. He always bragged that he had multiple girlfriends, but it wasn't because of how cool and confident he was, it was because he found insecure girls and manipulated them.

I didn't know he was doing that either, I thought she knew because he keeps his personal life in the dark and he'd brag to us about girls he was seeing.

I think I'm done trying to find the good in him and I'll just keep him at arms length forever. He needs to go to therapy.

[–] Poophammer@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago

I also walked away from a bunch of random libs I was hanging out with at a yearly anime convention.

What I think happened was two things one girl from the group had a crush on me, boyfriend was genuinely pissed. Did not like me for this. My bad, I didn't try to do this.

The next year, some other girl in this group who was married tried hooking up with me. Which i found kind of gross, her husband had a cuckold fetish. I never thought this shit would happen to me until it did.

And I think me rejecting her pissed her off so the other girl from before colluded and started taking shit I said out of context.

I'm leaving a lot out but I saw the writing on the wall and just left the situation. It felt bad, I want more friends but these people weren't going to be it.

The people there sucked, it was a bunch of rich white kids. A doctor and a finance weeb furry rented a hotel and they'd all party there at the con but clearly it was some stupid vanity project for these two.

I just finished up school and I wanted to make new friends so I tried this group out, but combined with all the drama and the weird power dynamic I didn't want to be there.

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago

One was a landlord that didn't like me talking about Mao

One was being racists and insisted he wasn't.

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago

Had a whole friend group cut it off with a guy at the same time. It was technically triggered by a single catastrophic event but we all realized we had enabled and tolerated his behavior far far too long.

Group of friends since early highschool that has lasted in some form into our 30s. This guy was not a good person but ended up being the butt of a lot of jokes which might have been why he was kept around so long.

It wasn't even really a coordinated effort, we all just knew what had to be done

[–] Jackilope@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago

Oh most definitely. Several times actually.

When I was recovering from substance abuse issues, the only way to remove my access was cutting off the circle of friends that were still using. It was tough but worth it.

Major one that still stings was a discord server I spent every day hanging out in. I got along with a handful of them very well, but got routinely shit on by two members for my "extreme political rhetoric" basically just angry liberals constantly calling me a fascist for being pro animal liberation or whatever they didnt agree with.

[–] Kuori@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

i dumped two best friends, both over ""'dating""" an underaged girl (the same one both times, incidentally) in their mid-20s.

i'd have made it messier (paeticularly the secons time) but our entire friend group just kind of quietly accepted it both times so i just walked

[–] sleeplessone@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 day ago
[–] grandel@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 day ago

Yeah, I realised he was toxic and manipulative. I left the entire group without warning and never turned back.

[–] MattEagle@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago

nah, I'm waaaaay too sexy for that

[–] Ildsaye@hexbear.net 3 points 1 day ago

Yes, a whole circle over Covid, and a friend who abandoned class struggle because sentient AI was going to overthrow its masters and replace humanity.

[–] PowerLurker@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago

went very low contact with my belittling, hyper critical, manipulative, insecure-in-an-outwardly-lashing-and-damaging way parent earlier this year after one too many blowout fights. im sure it seemed like just another scuffle to the rest of my family, but from my POV it was a long time coming.

the relationship just didnt pass the "would i tolerate this behavior from a friend, partner, or acquaintance" sniff test, and is just a necessary step for me to reach a peaceful, healed relationship with myself and for me to show up in my other relationships the way i want to show up. it does suck, i do feel grief around it, but this parent also isn't someone i would trust to know how to repair a relationship (or to even necessarily want to do that in a good faith way), so idk, i don't really see a path forward for the foreseeable future. mostly at peace with it.