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For the job? Much as I hate to say it, networking. Nudge friends and family, individually, about openings at their work or they have heard of. Trying to fight HR nonsense is like fighting a robot. It's stupid. It's hard. It's easier with friends already near the controls.
As for guilt, drop it. If you want to consider it debt, repay it years from now when they need your help. They will. Don't worry too much about it right now.
Keep track of every dollar you spend. Media makes it look like everyone drops $5 on coffee and $15 on lunch every day. As much as people cry about avocado toast comments, it's true- there's no reason to pay 5x the price for something you can easily make at home. It's easier to get a job when you have one. Get a job- any job- and then start looking for a better job.
I just feel like I'm running behind something, not even sure what exactly, money, stability, proving something to myself, maybe all of it at once.
The rich are tightening the vice. They do not want us to afford to live independently, they want us to be their slaves.
Good luck.
The West has propagandized relying on parents because it's good for business. Staying with your parents is one less house they can sell, one less car, one less bedroom furniture set, etc.
You are defeating capitalist greed and helping the planet by utilizing less redundant resources like you would living seperately.
true, but i would still say that living with friends is better than living with parents, for mental health. at least if your parents are as shitty as my mother was.
there's no shame in living with friends. in fact i think that we'd all be better off if we lived in 10+ people houses/apartments with people that we actually like.
Try not to be too hard on yourself, it's extremely tough out there and it's no shame to rely on your parents. They are family, and they want to help you get on your feet. Other cultures look at family support as completely natural, but in the west generally we are made to feel that we need to be completely independent and figure it all out at 18, otherwise we are losers.
I studied and worked hard in my 20s, stabilized in my 30s, and only now north of 40 do I feel like I have achieved success, except there are still aspects of my life that aren't what I hoped. Nobody has it all figured out.
To summarize: lift weights, floss, find joy
Keep track of your spending. Find simple and cheap things you like. There's hours of entertainment at the free public library. There's free meetups all over.
I had a friend that ordered food delivery for every meal. That's like $25k/year on food, in $35 chunks. Don't do that. Don't aspire to that.
Use thrift stores, buy nothing groups, freecycle, yard sales etc. I got most of the furniture for my first apartment for $230 (inflation adjusted) when I first moved out. Couch, table, chairs, dresser. The couch didn't survive the next move, but everything else is solid.
You can probably salvage an old computer by putting Linux on it rather than shelling out for a new one. I saved my friend a lot of money reviving their ancient laptop like that.
Some people have this idea that spending money frivolously or conspicuously is cool. They're assholes and fools.
Keep in touch with friends. Most of my jobs I got because I knew someone. The job process is broken, run by idiots and slop machines.
If living with your parents isn't driving you crazy, don't worry about it. Save the money.
You are right on track.
Every generation in the past hundred years has lived in a COMPLETELY different world than their parents.
Right now, your finding your place in the world, and that's not easy.
Forgive the video game analogy if that's not your cup of tea, but: You've just finished the tutorial (childhood) and there's a lot more grinding to do before you should start comparing yourself to the end-game builds.
Slow down and take care of yourself. Check your local library to see if there are any social groups that interest you. Spend an hour or so a week doing something you find meaningful, like volunteering. I used to think these were more chores, now I see it as what makes the shit I have to do bearable.
Identify a skill that is in demand and find a way to learn it. That's the only secret to having an income.
I think your generation probably has it harder than any in the US for the last 70 years. Don't beat yourself up. Life will do that for you.
Joining the military isn't the best option for everyone, but it is worth considering as it will solve all the problems you listed.
Not looking for "just work hard," genuinely curious what actually got you through a phase like this, and how you dealt with the guilt of relying on parents at this age.
You need to understand that it is not something you need to feel guilty for. Economy is in recession, every working person is struggling, and if you have parents who you can rely on financially — good for you. Especially if they are wealthy enough to support you indefinitely. I would never bother to work if I had parents like that.
