"I need to suck off a twink to deal with all this stress."
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And that’s basically it!
The response to that is "If that is the case, why aren't you sucking dick?"
Finally bigotry I can support.
They turn gay in prison, so maybe...
I can think of a couple of different motivations for this.
He's trying to get ahead of a leak that he's gay.
He's trying to help reduce pressure from employers, in a very odd way.
I'm going with the first one, because people in power don't give a fuck about anyone else.
That dude looks stressed as fuck.
excessive job stress, social pressure, past sexual experiences, and weak religious practice
Yeah, having past sexual experiences with a same-sex partner will do that.
Being gay in the past is strongly correlated to being gay in the present!
Correlation isn’t causation
Working hard or hardly working, eh?
He's right though, there i am, working my ass off, deadlines that fall behind and people running left and rightto catch the post-truck with that last minute delivery for the day, and all of a sudden, there we both stand, exhausted, over worked, and just start to furiously make out.
It's a real problem. And i for one am glad someone is taking this with the seriousness it deserves.
That read like sci-fi fanfic. I love it!
Maybe during pregnancy? That would explain why ex socialist country people thrown into neo liberalism don‘t know what hit their kids.
There is actually a lot of evidence that it's the mother's nurture that affects gayness.
Specifically younger sons (with an older brother) have a higher chance of being gay.
Anything to get out of work huh. Sounds weird to get 3-4 day work week.
Me reading this
🥰Stress converts to gay, 😭 claims
Shill account for townflex dot com
I'm calling in gay tomorrow and citing a world leader.
Suddenly, conservatives are for a shorter work week.
Nah, they'll just replace everyone with AI & robots. People will be stressed, but it won't be from work - problem solved!
Can’t they just hire gay people in the first place? Can’t turn gay if you’re already gay.
Or maybe working hard could make you super gay… or straight? I don’t know how this works.
I think it's a bit like the horseshoe theory in politics where the far left and far right agree on some of the same things.
So once you're super gay, you get to fuck super straight guys. That would explain why all these anti-gay politicians keep getting caught banging dudes in airport bathrooms.
I feel a little bit gay already, better take the rest of the day off.
This is way too real.
„I Felt a Little Homosexual Today, So I Called in Sick: The Formation of “Reverse Discourse” by Swedish Gay Activists in the 1970s“
This article revolves around the legal and epistemic battles around “homosexuality” in Sweden in 1979, which led to the abolition of homosexuality being classified as a “disease”. Among other things, gay activists “called in sick” to the Social Insurance Agency (SIA) and claimed that they were unable to work because they were homosexuals (read as mentally disordered).
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13600826.2022.2052025
Site doesn't load, but I love the idea
I guess so if all your coworkers are same sex?
"I'm not gay, I'm overworked."
-That guy
Right before putting the cock back in his mouth.
Wouldn't that mean like at least half the world would be gay? Where TF do these idiots come up with this shit?
Shut up! I don't want to keep working so much!
half the world
Sounds like meat is back on the menu 😏
Jee, I really feel like sucking dick today boss, it’s time I took a few days off.
it’s time I took a few days off
... to suck some dick.
saying this while holding one of the most stressful jobs in the world is such a crazy way to come out but pop off king
So basically, most of the world is gay? Cool.
Fuck man, I must be one of the gayest people on earth then. Get it? Fuck man? Hahaha.... I'm sorry.
Ohh, so i guess the Prime Minister is extremely stress all the time, that explains it.
Someone’s got a case of the Malaygays
Maybe gay sex relives stress
Yes... yes it does. ;)
Stress goes down, go to work. Work stress builds up, get to fuckin'. Stress goes down, back to work...
Wait a minute, I'm just describing the last ten years of my life.
"We've changed our minds , no more layoffs... Now is the time for lay ONS!!!! And instead of 'line goes up' another thing goes up now and it has... Infinite growth"
Well yeah, obviously. Work stress is alleviated by more money, and $20 bucks is $20 bucks.
Omg, I honestly didn't see that coming, well done.
I hate my coworkers so much I want to suck all their dicks. I'm not gay, but damn, I feel like the only relief I can get is if they relieve themselves... in my mouth. And my throat. And maybe my butt... but I need to get these stress related hemorrhoids checked first. Shit, I forgot, I don't have healthcare. Now I have to suck some nurse dick. It's gonna be a long weekend. Maybe if I get everyone together in the same room we can get it all over at once. Just... not in my eyes, please.
What country was it that had people calling in gay to work because their government classified it as an illness, again? 🤔
fuck, didn't even know it. i'm gay now since I've had some stress at work
Wanna 69? I've been working a lot of overtime lately.
Of course! That's why I keep thinking about being spitroasted. Obviously. Why else would I think that? Of course I don't actually want to do that. Why would I? Just work stress. Clearly.