this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2026
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[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 8 points 1 hour ago

"I need to suck off a twink to deal with all this stress."

The response to that is "If that is the case, why aren't you sucking dick?"

[–] AmyAye@nord.pub 11 points 3 hours ago

Finally bigotry I can support.

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 3 points 2 hours ago

They turn gay in prison, so maybe...

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 29 points 6 hours ago

I can think of a couple of different motivations for this.

He's trying to get ahead of a leak that he's gay.

He's trying to help reduce pressure from employers, in a very odd way.

I'm going with the first one, because people in power don't give a fuck about anyone else.

[–] Mediocre_Bard_Redeux@lemmy.world 12 points 5 hours ago

That dude looks stressed as fuck.

[–] Mediocre_Bard_Redeux@lemmy.world 11 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

excessive job stress, social pressure, past sexual experiences, and weak religious practice

Yeah, having past sexual experiences with a same-sex partner will do that.

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 9 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Being gay in the past is strongly correlated to being gay in the present!

[–] username123@sh.itjust.works 2 points 59 minutes ago

Correlation isn’t causation

[–] Lamplighter@lemmy.world 9 points 6 hours ago

Working hard or hardly working, eh?

[–] Atomic@sh.itjust.works 7 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

He's right though, there i am, working my ass off, deadlines that fall behind and people running left and rightto catch the post-truck with that last minute delivery for the day, and all of a sudden, there we both stand, exhausted, over worked, and just start to furiously make out.

It's a real problem. And i for one am glad someone is taking this with the seriousness it deserves.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

That read like sci-fi fanfic. I love it!

[–] RockBottom@feddit.org 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Maybe during pregnancy? That would explain why ex socialist country people thrown into neo liberalism don‘t know what hit their kids.

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 1 points 2 hours ago

There is actually a lot of evidence that it's the mother's nurture that affects gayness.

Specifically younger sons (with an older brother) have a higher chance of being gay.

[–] dan69@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago

Anything to get out of work huh. Sounds weird to get 3-4 day work week.

[–] Gaja0@lemmy.zip 3 points 7 hours ago

Me reading this

🥰Stress converts to gay, 😭 claims

[–] Blackfeathr@lemmy.world 9 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

Shill account for townflex dot com

[–] NOPper@lemmy.dbzer0.com 31 points 12 hours ago

I'm calling in gay tomorrow and citing a world leader.

[–] stermy4u@lemmy.world 101 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

Suddenly, conservatives are for a shorter work week.

[–] WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today 29 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (2 children)

Nah, they'll just replace everyone with AI & robots. People will be stressed, but it won't be from work - problem solved!

[–] chaosCruiser@futurology.today 13 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Can’t they just hire gay people in the first place? Can’t turn gay if you’re already gay.

Or maybe working hard could make you super gay… or straight? I don’t know how this works.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 hours ago

I think it's a bit like the horseshoe theory in politics where the far left and far right agree on some of the same things.

So once you're super gay, you get to fuck super straight guys. That would explain why all these anti-gay politicians keep getting caught banging dudes in airport bathrooms.

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[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 14 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I feel a little bit gay already, better take the rest of the day off.

[–] minus@lemmy.zip 17 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

This is way too real.

I Felt a Little Homosexual Today, So I Called in Sick: The Formation of “Reverse Discourse” by Swedish Gay Activists in the 1970s“

This article revolves around the legal and epistemic battles around “homosexuality” in Sweden in 1979, which led to the abolition of homosexuality being classified as a “disease”. Among other things, gay activists “called in sick” to the Social Insurance Agency (SIA) and claimed that they were unable to work because they were homosexuals (read as mentally disordered).

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13600826.2022.2052025

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 1 points 6 hours ago

Site doesn't load, but I love the idea

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 1 points 6 hours ago

I guess so if all your coworkers are same sex?

[–] charonn0@startrek.website 40 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

"I'm not gay, I'm overworked."

-That guy

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 7 points 11 hours ago

Right before putting the cock back in his mouth.

[–] WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today 41 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

Wouldn't that mean like at least half the world would be gay? Where TF do these idiots come up with this shit?

[–] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 30 points 15 hours ago

Shut up! I don't want to keep working so much!

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 10 points 14 hours ago

half the world

Sounds like meat is back on the menu 😏

[–] nehal3m@lemmy.zip 17 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Jee, I really feel like sucking dick today boss, it’s time I took a few days off.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 6 points 8 hours ago

it’s time I took a few days off

... to suck some dick.

[–] Alterecho@lemmy.world 23 points 15 hours ago

saying this while holding one of the most stressful jobs in the world is such a crazy way to come out but pop off king

[–] Zier@fedia.io 9 points 12 hours ago

So basically, most of the world is gay? Cool.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 6 points 11 hours ago

Fuck man, I must be one of the gayest people on earth then. Get it? Fuck man? Hahaha.... I'm sorry.

[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 10 points 13 hours ago (2 children)
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[–] itsathursday@lemmy.world 17 points 15 hours ago

Someone’s got a case of the Malaygays

[–] Racoonwithbenefits@lemmy.zip 12 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Maybe gay sex relives stress

[–] Zier@fedia.io 8 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] sundray@lemmus.org 3 points 8 hours ago

Stress goes down, go to work. Work stress builds up, get to fuckin'. Stress goes down, back to work...

Wait a minute, I'm just describing the last ten years of my life.

[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 3 points 11 hours ago

"We've changed our minds , no more layoffs... Now is the time for lay ONS!!!! And instead of 'line goes up' another thing goes up now and it has... Infinite growth"

[–] Angryhumanoid@fedinsfw.app 10 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Well yeah, obviously. Work stress is alleviated by more money, and $20 bucks is $20 bucks.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 5 points 11 hours ago

Omg, I honestly didn't see that coming, well done.

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 9 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

I hate my coworkers so much I want to suck all their dicks. I'm not gay, but damn, I feel like the only relief I can get is if they relieve themselves... in my mouth. And my throat. And maybe my butt... but I need to get these stress related hemorrhoids checked first. Shit, I forgot, I don't have healthcare. Now I have to suck some nurse dick. It's gonna be a long weekend. Maybe if I get everyone together in the same room we can get it all over at once. Just... not in my eyes, please.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 9 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

What country was it that had people calling in gay to work because their government classified it as an illness, again? 🤔

[–] charade_you_are@sh.itjust.works 6 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

fuck, didn't even know it. i'm gay now since I've had some stress at work

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 4 points 11 hours ago

Wanna 69? I've been working a lot of overtime lately.

[–] fork@feddit.online 9 points 15 hours ago

Of course! That's why I keep thinking about being spitroasted. Obviously. Why else would I think that? Of course I don't actually want to do that. Why would I? Just work stress. Clearly.

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